BE 46

BE

Chapter 46

“Where will you go now?”

Mikael asked. As my escort for this rotation, he seemed to have grown accustomed to my habits.

If I said, “To my room,” he would probably tell Sarina to prepare for archery practice.
If I said, “To the rose garden,” he would have them set out some desserts.

I thought for a moment. Archery was fun, but I’d done it for more than two days straight.

“Not to my room.”

I hadn’t finished reading ‘The Duties and Evaluations of the Head of House Alcibiades’ since the day I went looking for Father while reading it.

“And I don’t want to go to the rose garden either.”

Somehow, the rose garden had become a “study place” in my head.
Then there was nowhere else to go.

“But just dropping in on Father without warning is scary.”

I thought to myself.

The last time I’d done that, I’d witnessed something awful.
It still haunted me. Luckily, the dead hadn’t appeared in my dreams.

“Besides, Kan and I promised.”

We promised not to act as if we knew Father or my brother.

Still… a part of me started to feel hurt.

“Even so, I cried… and they didn’t come to comfort me.”

I wanted to take a walk, but somehow it felt scary.

“Milady.”

“Mm. I just want to walk down the hall by myself.”

I would always be “the duke’s daughter.” No matter if I became royalty someday, I was still the duke’s child.

When I was afraid of being abandoned, even walking around the ducal estate was hard—it didn’t feel like my home.

“Where do you usually train, Mikael?”

I asked, then hesitated.

The place I’d accidentally walked in on Father before was the training grounds, after all.

But Mikael’s reply was unexpected.

“I practice in a private training hall,” he said.
“The captain has a bit of a… cleanliness obsession. Always pretending he’s the only one who’s pure.”

“……”

That was interesting.

I’d once held a longsword briefly—it was so heavy.
And he practiced with that weight every day?

“Even the bow feels heavy for me.”

Mikael really was an impressive man.

I almost asked if he could take me along to see him train, but decided it was better to wait.
Right now, I just wanted to be alone.

“Hey, if I don’t want to go to my room, but I say I want to be alone… where would you take me?”

Mikael looked startled. I’d never said anything like that before.

“There is a suitable place… I suppose everyone needs time alone now and then,” he said, leading the way.

“I’ll show you.”

“Milady, your expression seems… complicated,” Log commented.

I laughed.

Mikael guided me kindly.
Classes were over, so this was my free time.
There were no exams or anything. I’d been staying at the ducal estate for over three weeks now.

I’d learned that everyone only gathered at the gates to greet Father when he returned from war.

Finally, Mikael stopped.

“This is the prayer room. You can calm your mind here through meditation.”

“I didn’t know there was such a place…”

Before leaving me, Mikael glanced around inside, checking for intruders.

“It’s safe here, so I’ll give you some time alone. But if anything happens, call for me. I’ll be waiting outside the door.”

“Still, leaving her alone isn’t good, Captain,” Log murmured.

But Mikael simply grabbed Log by the back of his neck and pulled him out.

For a moment, I felt like I was included in Mikael’s deep loyalty toward House Alcibiades.

Then I was alone in the prayer room.

“……”

It was lonely—but peaceful.

The prayer room was beautiful.
There were flowers, trees, and statues. It was warm, like a greenhouse, and everything shimmered with fresh dew.

The air smelled like flowers. I touched a petal and exhaled softly.

“Flowers are pretty no matter how many times you look at them.”

I bent down to smell one—it lifted my mood.

“We have family dinners about once a week.”

Brother was busy with the academy, and Father with work.

“Not all nobles attend the academy, though. I wonder what’s the difference between those who do and those who get private tutoring at home?”

I found myself thinking random things.

Maybe I should marry Kan someday.

I straightened up and looked around. When Mikael had scanned the place, it took him only moments—but for me, it took a while. It was quite large.

Then—

<……>

A spirit appeared before my eyes.

An earth spirit.

It hadn’t shown up when I’d desperately searched for it before, but lately it appeared almost every day.

Kan said my Lingspell ability was remarkable, but it still didn’t feel real.

“I just wanted to be alone,” I said to the spirit.

The spirit looked a little downcast and fluttered around me silently.

But Kan had said that spirits never appear for no reason—
that even unconsciously, I’m the one calling them. That’s what Lingspell means.

“Still… maybe I needed someone to listen to me.”

The spirit nodded as if to say it would listen.

It stopped flapping its wings and sat on a petal near me, its face turned toward mine, as if listening closely.

“My teacher said that one way to value myself is to speak casually with people like Sarina. I can do that now.

But what Kan said still confuses me—how can pretending not to know someone help me learn to value myself?”

<……>

“Neither Father nor Brother has come looking for me. Did they just… forget me?

Father isn’t on the battlefield right now, and Brother’s not even at the academy…”

<……>

“I thought we’d gotten closer. Maybe it was just me.
I wish they’d come find me… but if they did, I’d have to break my promise with Kan.
I said I wouldn’t act like I knew them. That’s a promise.”

The spirit seemed to understand me perfectly, no matter how I rambled.

Even at the orphanage, I got along pretty well.
I had lots of friends. Not everyone was close, but if I followed someone around—like Madeleine—they’d eventually like me too.

“I think I showed enough affection to Father and Brother.”

But it hurt, realizing that while I was missing them like this, they were probably just living peacefully.

It felt like I was the only one who truly longed for “family.”

“Still, I don’t wonder about my birth parents anymore. I’ll live well without knowing. I hope they’re doing well. I hope they’re alive.”

<Yeah.>

“The orphanage director said they likely died in the war, but… even if they abandoned me, I’m okay now. I’m happy. I forgive them. I just hope they’re alive.”

The spirit nodded.

“I envy everyone—Brother, Father, Kan… everyone.”

I looked at the spirit.

“…And Kan—he’s your favorite, isn’t he? Why do you like him so much?”

I asked. I felt like I’d been talking too much.

After my question, the earth spirit finally spoke.

“What does that mean?”

<We’re kind of like bees. Bees communicate with scent.
And from Adele, there’s a pink aura that radiates.>

I wondered if this strange explanation was what Kan meant by “Lingspell.”

But he’d said I was the only person who could actually hear spirits—
so maybe scholars had just invented that fancy term.

“You mean that’s what Lingspell is?”

Right—smart people never explain how they do well; they just do.
Those who can, simply can.
It was the same with the spirits.

I was a little shocked.

“Then what color is Mikael’s?”

“What about me?”

I wanted to see these auras myself. If I were a spirit, could I?

If everyone was colorless except for a few… then Father’s would probably be red, Brother’s black.

“Anyway, I miss Father. Talking like this made me realize—I didn’t want to be alone. I was just sad. I just didn’t want anyone to see that I was sad.”

“Thanks… I feel better now, thanks to you.”

I lifted my head. The trees above hung down beautifully.

There were so many lovely statues. I idly touched one, playing around. The spirit quietly followed me.
Sunlight filtered through, softly illuminating the plants.

“Do you like the orphanage or the duchy better?”

“I like you guys too.”

We were having a simple conversation when I heard a knock on the door.

That meant it was okay for them to come in.

But strangely, the door didn’t open.

Puzzled, I turned the handle myself—

“!”

I froze.

A large, firm hand suddenly wrapped around my waist and pulled me close.

Even though I was cautious by nature, the sudden touch left me defenseless.

My heart felt like it was going to burst.

But when I saw the face—
I couldn’t breathe.