Chapter 26 …
Strangely, Hong-ah felt pathetic for being unable to distinguish what she should and shouldn’t say in front of Hangyeom.
From the days of her childhood, when she first spoke of her worries about her identity, up until today—even then, there was no need to speak words that did not need to be spoken.
All the more so if the person was not family. That was a very simple truth. It was also one of life’s lessons Hong-ah had learned after living through so many days: pointless words became weaknesses, and honesty often turned into poison.
“Of course, I heard you. And I’ve thought about it in my own way.”
But Hangyeom was different from Hong-ah. He spoke without a trace of hesitation, as if he had nothing in the world to hide. Even his ears, unusually red despite the hot weather, were left uncovered without any attempt to conceal them.
“It is true that the Minister of the Privy Council is the person who could be of greatest help to His Highness the Crown Prince. The scholars in Hanyang all want to connect themselves to his household. Honestly, I’m surprised you realized, while living in the palace, that the Minister of the Privy Council is at the core of political power.”
“Two of the minister’s sisters have already become concubines of the Emperor of Ming. Every Joseon person knows he is kin to the imperial family—it’s hardly a surprising deduction.”
“But you seem too urgent for someone merely preparing for some vague future. The very fact that you came out here today shows that.”
“You keep speaking as though you know me well.”
Hong-ah turned her gaze away coldly. To Hangyeom, she looked like a sulky little kitten, and he found it amusingly endearing.
“I don’t know you well—that’s why I keep wondering. I want to know you.”
Again, Hangyeom spoke with absolute candor. Hong-ah couldn’t understand why he was going this far for her.
“If you are even considering marriage, then it means you need a strong alliance. To be prepared for emergencies.”
“My uncle Suchun would have thought as much too.”
Even in the face of Hong-ah’s frosty reply, Hangyeom stood firm. He knew Suchun-gun lacked this level of understanding, and that her words were merely for form’s sake.
“Though His Majesty is aged and frail, His Highness the Crown Prince is vigorous. If he ascends the throne, the royal authority will be stronger than ever. As the first king born of the direct legitimate line, who could dare undermine his dignity? But the very fact that you are so concerned must mean there are inner circumstances I, who have not yet entered service, do not know.”
“Be careful with your words about His Majesty and His Highness. They are not for you to comment on, and it borders on disloyalty.”
“I am aware. Please understand that it only comes from my desire to better understand you.”
Finally, Hong-ah raised her head and met Hangyeom’s eyes. Those large, moist eyes still shone brightly before her.
“Why do you have so much interest in me?”
She had many questions in her heart, but she asked the most important one first.
He was the first “man” she had ever met in this world—truly unrelated by blood or family. A complete stranger. And yet, why was such a person pouring so much interest into her, declaring it with all his heart?
“Until I met you, I thought I was the smartest person in the world. A foolish child, arrogant just because I could read a few words.”
Even against her blunt and almost hostile question, Hangyeom did not falter. He openly laid out his thoughts.
“But after meeting you, much has changed. Though you are younger than me, you are far more clever.”
“Well, I can hardly read enough words to be compared with you.”
“It is not about letters.”
Hangyeom answered firmly.
“To be honest, I used to look down on those who learned slower than I did. At six years old, I was insufferably arrogant. I even looked down on the young princes, thinking them dull.”
He had followed his grandfather, the princes’ tutor, into the palace many times after that. Though he never again saw that small child he had once glimpsed in the library, the image remained deeply lodged in his heart.
That peculiar yet beautiful child had taken up residence in Hangyeom’s mind, so much so that he couldn’t even concentrate on his studies.
Yet he, who had scorned the princes so much, couldn’t bring himself to ask them directly if they knew a child named Hong-ah. It wasn’t until a year later that he learned the princes had a niece by that name.
The princes never realized that the boy who always dismissed them would suddenly listen intently whenever their niece was mentioned. They only grew excited, eagerly sharing anecdotes about Hong-ah—and Hangyeom listened to every word.
Through that, he came to realize how narrow-minded and foolish he had been. It was the greatest awakening in a life that until then had been sustained by arrogance.
“From you, I learned that cleverness should not stop at merely having a sharp mind. Even if one cannot be kind to everyone, one must never belittle others. I realized how pathetic I was, forgetting even that basic duty of a gentleman.”
Hangyeom smiled broadly, his cheeks lifting, his expression filled with pure happiness.
“That’s why I want to know more about you. The more I do, the more I feel I can become a better person.”
Looking at the boy smiling so brightly, Hong-ah was at a loss for words. Somehow, he overlapped with the six-year-old she used to see in the library, and her heart grew strangely soft. It was a feeling she could not explain.
“Ah—my lady!”
Unlike her confused feelings, Hangyeom looked relieved. Even just the way he casually called to her showed it. Hong-ah forced herself to steady her emotions and followed his pointing finger with her eyes.
The tightly shut front gate had opened, and voices murmured from beyond. The two pressed themselves against the wall and held their breath.
Though some distance away, they could clearly see a boy and a girl walking out together, chatting intimately. It had been about half an hour since they first hid along Han Hwak’s wall.
“Didn’t you say that household has no son around my age?”
The boy and girl had already walked quite far, but Hong-ah whispered softly. Hangyeom nodded with an indignant look.
“I really never heard of him having another son.”
“They seem so close—are you saying they’re not siblings?”
“I did once hear from my grandfather that the minister raised a nephew as if he were his own child.”
At his words, Hong-ah quickly turned her head. His lips jutted out as though in excuse under her sharp glare.
“You never asked me if he had a nephew around your age.”
“True, I didn’t.”
Hong-ah turned back again. Her eyes remained fixed on the retreating figures of the two until they disappeared from sight.
A nephew, huh. Not the same as a son.
She clicked her tongue in thought.
Behind her, Hangyeom audibly swallowed. She must have seemed rather unladylike. With nothing else to say in his defense, he simply stared at the now-empty street. Then he suddenly spoke.
“I don’t know much about Han Hwak’s nephew, my lady.”
“That’s fine. If I want, I can check household registers or genealogies.”
“No, that’s not what I mean, my lady.”
Hangyeom hurriedly cut in at her indifferent response.
“I know every so-called prodigy in the capital. Most of them studied under my grandfather or under his acquaintances.”
“And?”
“What I mean is—Han Hwak’s nephew is not among any of those names!”
He cried this out, squeezing his eyes shut, loud enough to make one worry the servants beyond the wall might hear.
At least, Hong-ah understood what he was trying to say. He meant Han Hwak’s nephew was not a prodigy. Still, she couldn’t tell why he was being so dramatic about it. Even as she reluctantly nodded, she remained puzzled.
“What I need isn’t a clever man. But thank you for worrying.”
“W-what? Why not?”
Hangyeom, who had seemed so composed, suddenly stammered. Hong-ah tilted her head and answered kindly.
“Why would he need to be clever? If he ever gains office, he’ll be subject to constant checks and suspicion.”
At that time in Joseon, even royal sons-in-law could hold positions. But they were always closely monitored, and they rarely rose to the highest ranks.
What Hong-ah needed was not a brilliant statesman for a husband, but a strong ally who could protect her family.
But Hangyeom looked wounded by her words. Neither she nor he could explain why such sorrow appeared on the gentle boy’s face.
That day, as he escorted her back to the palace quarters, he never managed to voice another rebuttal. Their parting was left awkward, leaving only a restless unease in the heart.
Unfortunately, their secret outings could not continue. Normally, Hong-ah had no interest in afternoon naps, but one day she suddenly sent her nanny away on errands, even dismissed her maid, and claimed to have slept for over two hours. Naturally, this aroused suspicion.
“Oh dear, just kill me now, my lady! Better that than letting you burn my heart to ashes like this!”
She was caught by her nanny at the very moment she tried to slip through the side gate. The only small comfort was that she didn’t run into Hangyeom—who, of course, was waiting nearby again.
As she was dragged back to her quarters by the nanny, she caught a glimpse of him standing pitifully by the gate.
Seeing those bright, expectant eyes of his made her feel strangely guilty, as though she had broken a promise—even though they had never made one.
He really was a strange person. She didn’t know if she should consider it fortunate or unfortunate that she would no longer be entangled with him.
‘Why does my heart feel so unsettled?’
It took her a long while to calm the turmoil in her chest. But in the end, Hong-ah regained her serenity.
They had only reunited by coincidence, after all. Soon, she would return to the palace and would likely not be able to leave again until her marriage.
By then, she would already be someone’s wife, and there would be no chance of private meetings with him.
Her outings with Hangyeom were nothing more than a fleeting escapade she could tell no one about. With that thought, her heart finally grew still again.
