Chapter 31
Watching the tea ripple finely along the rebound, Terezia asked.
Despite having just taken a sip, a dry, brittle voice forced its way out. She tried not to appear too shaken, while also trying not to respond too coldly.
“Is there a reason you’re telling me this directly?”
Lucia hesitated, unable to immediately continue. But Terezia clearly saw the faint crack in the smile she had been wearing without hesitation just moments before.
Waiting patiently without pressing her, Lucia finally spoke with an embarrassed look, struggling to find the words, her head slightly bowed, unable to meet Terezia’s gaze.
“Actually… I ran into the Count last night. As you know… our rooms are opposite each other.”
Terezia instantly grasped the implication of Lucia’s words.
‘So, she saw Aiden coming out of my room.’
It was a conversation that made her naturally tense. She hid her trembling hands under the table and held her breath to maintain composure.
Lucia slowly took another sip of tea before continuing.
“I wanted to ask about the engagement… but the Count told me that he intends to bring Your Highness to our engagement ceremony at the Imperial Palace.”
“……What?”
Even Terezia had never heard this before. Aiden had only occasionally mentioned his engagement to the saint, but never said that she would also have to attend.
An engagement ceremony with the “official mistress” present…
It was bound to cause gossip. Moreover, she had already lost her backing in the Imperial Court. For someone who had fallen so low, daring to show up at a sacred engagement ceremony was unthinkable.
Aiden, too, would surely be the subject of rumors. And the saint—who else? She was the Imperial Rose, favored above all in the history of the Greer Empire. Even the temple and the goddess would point fingers at such an act.
It was reckless behavior, uncharacteristic of Aiden.
‘If he had a reason for choosing the saint as his partner, why would he do something like this…’
Terezia asked, unable to hide her astonishment, and Lucia nodded as if expecting the reaction, her hands nervously smoothing the teacup.
“I thought Your Highness might not know. From the brief interactions I had, it didn’t seem like he would have you attend the engagement.”
“So… the reason for the tea today is to tell me to refuse personally?”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Lucia looked startled, as if she had been scalded by the tea, and raised her head.
“The Count referred to Your Highness as his mistress… so I don’t think it’s my place to interfere with you staying by his side. I’m not marrying the Count out of passionate love. But…”
“…….”
“Since the archbishop would also attend, I didn’t know how to explain it. In the worst case, he could have insisted on canceling the engagement entirely, so I wanted to meet and ask just once.”
“Ask what?”
“What is Your Highness’s relationship with the Count? I don’t know the details, but even from what I could observe, it doesn’t seem like your relationship is based on affection.”
Her careful phrasing revealed her caution. Terezia, inwardly admiring her perceptiveness, listened silently.
“Ah, forgive me if my question seems rude. I don’t want to hurt you; I honestly don’t know. You may not realize, but I haven’t had many conversations with the Count either…”
“Just seeing that you ask me something you couldn’t ask him shows you trust me more.”
Terezia said coldly, instantly regretting it. But it was too late. While Terezia frowned in mild exasperation, Lucia bit her lower lip, her eyes flicking as she carefully considered each word.
Then, as if resolute, she met Terezia’s gaze firmly.
Thoughtful yet unflinching in the face of small emotions, she did not step back. It was the demeanor of someone worthy of the title of the Empire’s saint.
“I could have asked the Count, but I didn’t… because he seemed quite possessive of Your Highness. Honestly, I was afraid of what answer I would hear.”
“Afraid…?”
“Well… where should I begin?”
Though the tea had surely cooled during their conversation, Lucia held her cup tightly as if she needed its warmth. Terezia found herself irritated at how she was paying attention to every little action.
“I also know the Count… more than most people.”
“What do you mean…?”
“I know what truly drives him.”
A sudden explosion rang in her head.
For a moment, Terezia thought the glass of the greenhouse had shattered. She looked around urgently, but soon realized it wasn’t the glass that had broken—it was her heart. Shattered into pieces so fine that she had no idea how to start putting them back together.
She knew that the staff of the Faelrun estate all shared a single purpose, but…
Because it had never been openly discussed, it was the first time she faced someone who directly knew the Count’s true identity.
‘Ah.’
Terezia painfully realized that her sense of superiority had been shallow all along. She had assumed that her memories with Aaron were unbearably precious and unique, only shared by her.
In truth, they had been painful, horrible memories that he probably didn’t even want to recall. And yesterday… she had dared to call his name in the square.
Even on a day when he could hide his identity and reveal all his desires, that name should not have escaped her lips.
What had Aiden felt at that moment?
By now, his heart might have completely shattered.
While rolling in the gutter, abandoning his identity, quietly infiltrating his enemy’s domain and expanding his power, Terezia…
‘Haa…’
She shuddered at the uncharacteristic intensity of the feeling. Her rough movements were, in fact, anger. Her breathing tightened in shame. A vulgar, guilty illusion. The shattered fragments of her heart seemed to tear her body apart. Yet even this pain was insignificant compared to the hell he lived through.
She knew.
She had caused this.
Her self-pity at being the most miserable woman in the world must have seemed absurd to him. He could not have found it satisfying.
Falling to the bottom, he faced her daily, rehashing past horrors and disgusting ambitions, whether he succeeded or failed, knowing that only ruin awaited at the end of his revenge. Yet he pressed forward.
Because he was alive.
And as the only survivor of that horror, he had a duty to atone.
“You knew… all of that.”
Terezia muttered, feeling like a defeated soldier.
After the storm of emotion passed, what remained was emptiness. Calm and cold, like someone who possessed nothing and was incomprehensible.
“Soon, the Count and I will be married. Though the engagement hasn’t formally occurred yet… he told me everything when he first proposed, without hiding anything. Even that he was the son of Duke Astrid.”
“So… you knew everything he might do in the future as well…?”
“Yes. I hadn’t intended to tell Your Highness, but I felt I should, since we are in the same position.”
No—the saint cannot know.
She could not be placed on the same plane as such a noble woman.
Not just because Terezia had been accused of killing her husband and abandoned by the Imperial Court.
Terezia could never stand on equal footing with Lucia Ardenua, whether in front of Aaron Astrid or Aiden Faelrun.
“So… what I truly wanted to ask wasn’t about your relationship with the Count… but about your heart.”
“My heart…?”
“Yes. Your Highness, isn’t it unbearably difficult? Being pointed at as the Count’s mistress, and through that, even seeing him insulted.”
Yet the woman who shone as the Empire’s most dignified still smiled benevolently.
“If Your Highness permits, I may be able to help a little.”
Truly, she bore the demeanor worthy of being called the living embodiment of the goddess Ardenua.
