Chapter 57
The gatekeeper’s face went pale.
While closing the gate, he had failed to notice the footprints leading toward the right side of the fortress gate.
Because the gate was pushed open from the inside and pulled shut, that position fell right into a blind spot.
Leaving the gatekeeper behind, Kaon trudged out across the snow that had been cleared in the morning and thus lay only in a thin layer.
A little farther on, the snow deepened until it reached his ankles.
He knew exactly where to go.
During morning inspections, if the gatekeeper opened the gate in advance, the two teams usually gathered in front of the forest entrance—so she was probably there.
She must have gone out and come back already.
Thick flakes blurred his vision to a hazy white.
Even in the morning it had already been snowing hard, though at least then the conditions weren’t as bad as now.
Alesia was clever and never forgot things; surely, once she realized her mistake, she would have turned back.
Right now, she was probably in the library, poring over her beloved maps.
Even so, Kaon kept walking.
His mind told him there was no way she’d still be out there, but his legs wouldn’t stop.
His pace gradually quickened.
The snow-laden wind slapped against his face, but nothing slowed his steps.
No way… right?
Right? It had to be right. …It had to.
Repeating the words in his head as if to steady himself, Kaon pushed through the snow.
Far ahead, the forest came into view.
The world was so utterly whitewashed by snow that it was hard to tell what might be there.
Kaon moved closer to make out the scene.
And then he stopped.
She was there.
Alesia.
As much as he had wished otherwise, the figure standing and staring at the forest entrance was unmistakably her.
She seemed almost blended into the falling snow, as though part of the scene.
Kaon broke into a run.
“Alesia Ingellos!”
When he called her name loudly, Alesia slowly turned her head.
By the time he reached her, Kaon was already brushing snow from her hair and shoulders, then wrapping his cloak tightly around her.
That still wasn’t enough; he shrugged off his coat as well and draped it over her.
Her movements were stiff, her body limp—unsurprising, given she had been out in this weather for hours.
“You idiot! If no one comes, you’re supposed to go back inside! Didn’t they teach you that inspections get canceled in weather like this? You called me a fool, a fool—and now you’re the fool!”
He shouted in frustration, and Alesia quietly smiled.
Kaon barely stopped himself from yelling again about how she could possibly smile right now.
He decided he’d save the lecture until they were back inside.
Hurriedly, he crouched down.
Her body was frozen stiff—walking back would take ages.
It would be faster to carry her.
A cold weight settled against his back.
She was so light he had to reach a hand behind him just to make sure she was really there.
“Someone seemed awfully upset…”
Her small voice reached his ears then.
“…So I let him have his way.”
Kaon froze for an instant.
It didn’t take long to understand what she meant.
“…You knew the inspection was canceled today?”
“Not from the start… later. When no one showed up.”
With each word, a puff of white breath drifted away like a tiny snowstorm.
Her voice was faint, as though she might fall asleep at any moment, yet it carried a trace of amusement.
“If you knew, you should’ve gone inside. Why let me ‘have my way’? Are you really that stupid? All you’re doing is hurting yourself!”
That made him even angrier, and he snapped at her as he began to run.
He had thought she was smart—but this wasn’t just foolish; it was beyond foolish.
To risk herself just to appease someone’s temper?
He couldn’t understand why she was suddenly like this when she normally didn’t care at all.
If she had just ignored him like usual, he would have been annoyed, but not like this.
“I wondered who might worry…”
Her slow-spoken words were the final straw.
Kaon scowled and shot back sharply:
“Who would worry?”
“You.”
Alesia’s soft reply was indifferent, as if it didn’t matter to her either way.
Her breathy voice sounded like it might fade away at any moment.
“Don’t say something so ridiculous.”
He couldn’t let her lose consciousness.
Realizing this instinctively, Kaon retorted harshly and kept plowing forward through the snow.
He intended to keep her talking, no matter what.
“Then why did you come out here?”
But her next words left him with nothing to say.
“Stupid Kaon Ferdinand.”
As though seeing right through him, her remark silenced him completely.
Grinding his teeth, Kaon focused only on running.
Alesia did not wake for two full days.
The doctor said her body was weak, but her spirit seemed even more so.
In any case, there was no way an inspection could be held.
Fortunately—or unfortunately—the snowstorm still hadn’t let up.
Even so, the snow was starting to ease; by tomorrow, they would likely be able to clear it.
While asleep, Alesia cried a great deal.
Kaon couldn’t tell what was weighing so heavily on her heart, but even in her unconscious state, tears streamed down her face.
He wiped them away whenever he could, his mind churning.
He simply couldn’t figure her out.
He wanted to understand her, but it wasn’t easy.
He had thought she was an angel—only to realize that part of her was false, and that she could be more merciless than a demon at times.
She seemed ready to open her heart one moment, then guarded every side of herself the next.
One moment she said she disliked you, and the next she seemed to mean she disliked herself.
She could reveal unhidden malice, then act like she understood your heart completely.
The day he could truly understand Alesia Ingellos, he thought, he’d be more amazed at himself than anything.
“Hey.”
Kaon quietly called her name.
She didn’t move, but the faint rise and fall of the blanket with her breathing was his only comfort.
“You were right.”
Alesia was inconsistent and moody.
He had never met anyone like her in his life, and doubted he ever would again.
“I do worry about you…”
So, while they had the chance, he wanted to see her a little longer.
Even if he couldn’t understand her now, maybe if he stayed by her side, he would one day.
And when that time came—when he understood her—he might finally know why she disliked him so much.
“Hurry up and wake up.”
Who knew?
By then, maybe she would like him a little.
Alesia woke the next day.
Blinking dazedly, the first thing she asked was, “The inspection?”
Once she learned the snowstorm had stopped, she even tried to get up and join the team.
Not only Kaon but also the doctor, Madeleine, and the maids opposed her.
Unable to insist any further, Alesia stayed put.
Two more days passed like that.
She was well enough for daily life, but not to join an inspection.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m fine now. Time to start going out again.”
Kaon’s face twisted when he entered with medicine and water.
Somehow, she had gotten up and put on her coat, clearly determined to leave.
It was obviously too soon, yet she kept insisting on going out.
“I told you, not yet.”
“That was yesterday. Today I’m fine—completely different.”
She acted as though staying in bed even one more day would get her thrown out.
No one here would do that, but she made a fuss all on her own.
“They’ll be fine without you. We got by even when we were on the verge of breaking ties with the Mage Tower. The knights aren’t that weak.”
“I know. I just… really feel like I can go today. I’ve been lying around for days. I hate it.”
Anger surged up in him, but Kaon held it back.
He wanted to shout at her to just lie down already, but she was still recovering—he shouldn’t raise his voice.
“Then just go to the library or something.”
“I will. After I get back.”
Her face was pale enough that a ghost might come to befriend her, but still she was stubborn.
If she was going to be like this, she shouldn’t have done anything to get sick in the first place.
Already holding back more than enough words, Kaon felt his temper fray further.
Setting down the medicine and water, he said tightly:
“They really can manage fine without you.”
“I know. But it still takes longer to finish things without me. I’ve already made them spend twice the time—any more and I’ll just be a burden.”
“You’re not even a real mage, so why do you keep—!”
Kaon finally exploded, his frustration surpassing its limit.
The guilt of wanting her to recover quickly added fuel to his anger.
But he realized at once that he had made a mistake—he had said something he should never have said.
Silence fell, so deep he couldn’t even hear breathing.
He quickly focused his senses, but thankfully, no sound came from outside the room.
Even if someone had been there, at least his last shred of self-control had kept his voice from carrying beyond the door.
“I’m sorry. That was out of line.”
He apologized immediately.
It wasn’t just that he had let her secret slip—his words themselves had been too harsh.
He hadn’t meant it that way, but it would have sounded like he was belittling her.
“It’s fine.”
But Alesia neither got angry nor showed any sign of being upset.
She answered calmly, with a naturalness too genuine to be faked.
Pulling her coat closed, she left the room with just one remark, and Kaon couldn’t stop her.
“It’s not like you’re the only one who’s ever said that to me.”
He simply couldn’t bring himself to.
