Chapter 45. Hey…?
They say that when the body grows distant, so does the heart.
As time passed, her feelings only grew stronger, and she felt that in this house, they would never lessen.
“Your grandmother is taking a short break from work this winter? Then you should go stay with her.”
“Thank you!”
“I’ll take care of your school issues, Haeyoung. Spend the winter with your grandma.”
“Yes, Grandpa!”
“Heh, Taeseong will be lonely, won’t he.”
At Chairman Ju’s final comment, Haeyoung couldn’t even respond politely.
She wouldn’t be the one to ease his loneliness.
That person would be Jo Minjoo.
At best, she was just a friend.
Someone comfortable and fun to be with.
Nothing more.
One sleepless night, with her mind in turmoil, she thought deeply.
What was the difference between love and friendship?
After long reflection, she came up with her own definition.
Love was a sticky emotion that could fill the gaping holes in one’s heart. Like dense clay that sealed every gap.
Friendship, however, was like smooth, round marbles – beautiful and comforting, but unable to fill those holes.
They seemed similar, but were completely different.
That was the difference between how Taeseong felt about her and how she felt about him.
What they wanted, what they could give – both were different.
At one point, she had wanted to be selfish with this first love of hers.
She had wanted to throw all her heavy feelings at him, unburden herself completely.
But she chose not to.
Because she wanted to protect him.
Protect his heart, his dreams, everything he held dear.
Knock, knock.
The deep reverie was broken by a knock on her door.
“Yes?”
“Miss, the driver is here.”
Jincheon peeked in to inform her.
“Ah, I’ve almost finished packing!”
She answered with her usual bright smile.
“I’ll wait downstairs. Take your time.”
Closing the door softly, Jincheon left.
Haeyoung finished packing.
She didn’t take everything, as if she was leaving for good.
They would divorce eventually, but everything had an order.
First, she had to sort out her feelings.
Then, when she turned twenty, she would tell Grandpa and Grandma that they wanted to walk their own paths.
Leaving this house completely would come after that.
This, too, would become a fleeting memory of her nineteenth year – the peak of youth.
Someday.
Determined, she zipped her bag shut and stood up.
Turning off the lights, she stepped out and stood before Taeseong’s room.
Placing her hand lightly on his door, she hesitated, then moved her lips silently.
“Take care.”
I hope your long first love comes true.
I hope the dreams you’ve held for so long come true.
And…
“Ju Taeseong.”
I hope every day ahead of you shines a brilliant blue.
“I’m leaving.”
And afterward,
When I’ve sorted out all my feelings, let’s meet again with smiling faces.
As good friends.
She lifted her hand from his door and walked down the hallway with firm steps.
That was how she said goodbye to this place she had grown so fond of.
Meanwhile
After finishing his meal with Minjoo, Taeseong quickly bought a cake and rushed home.
Haeyoung still hadn’t replied, so he bought a simple fruit cream cake.
He planned to ask her what kind of cake she really liked while they ate together.
He also wanted to ask if she’d like to go somewhere to celebrate.
Maybe an amusement park, maybe a nice dinner, or a photo outing.
Or even a warm country trip, since it was winter.
He thought of everything, stacking plans in his mind.
“I’m home!”
He called out loudly, something he rarely did.
“Welcome home, young master.”
Only Jincheon came out from the kitchen.
“Yes.”
“How was your exam?”
“Same as usual.”
“That’s good.”
As she turned to return to the kitchen, he stopped her.
“Where’s Cha Haeyoung? Sleeping?”
“She went to Pohang.”
“…What?”
“You forgot? She said she’d go right after the exam. I thought she’d told you.”
Jincheon clicked her tongue at him, as if it was obvious he had simply forgotten.
But Taeseong stood there blankly.
“She… went to Pohang?”
“Yes.”
At that moment, the kitchen phone rang, and Jincheon disappeared to answer it.
His hands clenched tightly.
Something inside him crumbled.
Blinking rapidly, he pulled out his phone to call her.
Where did you go?
Fine, but why didn’t you say anything?
He had so many questions ready, but when he unlocked his phone, a message popped up.
I’ll be staying in Pohang for a while. Let’s meet after winter.
It was so simple and clear that it killed any desire to argue.
He stood frozen, staring at the screen.
Eventually, the display went dark, and his own furious reflection stared back at him.
He felt annoyed.
Or was it anger?
No, it wasn’t that simple.
It was annoyance, anger, betrayal, and sadness all mixed together into a muddy mess.
He felt like an idiot, thinking all the way home about how they would spend winter together.
Like a statue, he placed the cake on the sofa.
There was no point eating it alone.
He went into his room and locked the door tightly.
Throwing his bag aside, he collapsed onto the bed.
Closing his eyes, he touched the scarf she had knitted for him.
The soft yarn curled around his fingers, and his resentment deepened.
How could she leave for home without saying a word?
“Like hell I’ll contact her first.”
Muttering stubbornly, he built up his last bit of pride.
That Night
A little after ten, Haeyoung stepped out of the car.
“Thank you, driver.”
“You’re welcome.”
She bowed deeply, and he nodded back.
“Take care going up.”
Thanks to the car Chairman Ju arranged, she had returned comfortably.
She would have to contact him once he returned from his business trip.
“Goodbye then, miss.”
“Yes.”
She smiled, and the driver bowed before getting back into the car.
Even after it drove away, she stood there blankly.
The salty scent of her seaside hometown brushed her nose.
Everything felt like a fleeting dream.
Her grandma’s illness, her marriage to Ju Taeseong, even her own feelings.
“I wish it was all just a dream.”
But the way she was now used to being called ‘missus’ reminded her it was real.
Letting out a quiet sigh, she walked towards the lit house.
She knew she couldn’t erase everything,
But at least here, she would return her heart back to how it used to be.
Days Passed
A little over a month passed, and it was mid-December.
With Chairman Ju’s arrangements, Haeyoung didn’t have to attend school as long as she logged her experiential learning and home study hours.
Since that last text, she and Taeseong hadn’t spoken.
She understood. He was probably angry she left without telling him properly.
She occasionally spoke with Chairman Ju or Jincheon, and heard bits about Taeseong.
The good thing was, staying apart really did make her think of him less.
She could forget. She had to.
Repeating that to herself, she finished getting ready for her part-time job.
“Grandma! I’m leaving!”
“Alright, be careful on the road.”
Her grandmother, who had decided to take a break from work, looked healthier than expected.
The doctor said her slow disease progression and reduced stress likely helped.
For a moment, everything felt like it had gone back to the old days.
Meanwhile
That day, Taeseong lay in bed early again.
Since the exam, he hadn’t gone anywhere. No basketball, no trips.
Nothing felt fun.
Since the day she left, his mood never recovered.
Buried under his blanket, he muttered.
“Seriously… after leaving like that, shouldn’t she contact me first?”
Was her hometown really that great?
Maybe she had a first love hidden there?
His thoughts spiraled endlessly.
Finally, he picked up his phone beside his pillow.
Opening their message window, the last text sat there unchanged.
I’ll be staying in Pohang for a while. Let’s meet after winter.
He had read it hundreds of times, but read it again.
Typing slowly, he began:
Hey, are you up?
“No, that sounds too confrontational.”
It’s cold, are you staying warm?
“Ugh, too cheesy.”
Hey…?
“That just sounds too clingy—”
Bzzzz. Bzzzz.
While agonizing over his message, his phone suddenly vibrated violently.
