Chapter 187……………………………………………
Is this why they say humans are creatures of forgetfulness?
After a few days passed, I realized there was something I absolutely had to do outside this forest.
Once I knew Risma was safe, my thoughts were filled only with Roelin—the one whose life or death I had not been able to confirm.
Because the execution had been carried out, there was no way to know how Roelin’s health was recovering.
‘I want to ask Kyle, but….’
I had left that place on my own without permission, and it seemed that Kyle and the imperial family had grown distant. I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
[“El, humans betrayed you. And you’d still go this far just to see that human girl?”]
After hearing my request to see Roelin, Risma stared at me in stunned silence for a while before reluctantly meeting my eyes and speaking.
He seemed to be subtly hoping that I would change my mind even now.
“Roelin is just an innocent young princess. She’s different from the Emperor.”
Though the Emperor had abandoned me, Roelin hadn’t known of his choice.
If only for the wounds that little Roelin would bear in the future, I had to see her.
[“Your ties with that place have already ended. I think you should reconsider.”]
“It was poison Elporten used from the beginning to target me. If it hadn’t been Roelin, I might have been the one to suffer in her place.”
[“Are you feeling guilty?”]
Risma asked incredulously, and I nodded.
If it hadn’t been for me, Roelin would never have gone through such a thing.
If I, the villainess, had simply left far away from the start, Elporten wouldn’t have grown impatient and resorted to something like that.
[“They forgot your grace. They even tried to kill you. The young princess is no different. Given time, she’ll walk the same path.”]
Hearing the anger in Risma’s voice, I hesitated.
It was an undeniable truth that the imperial family had abandoned me. His words had reason.
If something like this had happened to Risma instead of me, I would have tried to stop him just as he was doing now.
“But not now. Roelin is critically ill because of me. I want to see for myself.”
If I could, I would run to her right now and heal her.
Of course, if I revealed all of these feelings, Risma would probably hate it even more, so I kept it to myself.
[“I thought you’d never return there again….”]
Embarrassed by his displeased tone, I scratched the back of my head.
With Risma’s help, I was able to reach Roelin’s bedroom.
Of course, Risma, who wasn’t in good condition, couldn’t come this far with me.
He helped me only to keep me from using dark magic.
He warned that if I used dark magic, we might no longer be able to recognize each other’s faces.
‘Was it possible before only because Risma’s power was weak?’
Though it was sudden, I decided to follow his advice and avoid using dark magic as much as possible.
As I quietly slipped into the room, Roelin, who had been sleeping soundly, stirred.
For a moment I considered turning back, worried I might have woken her—but that thought soon faded.
“El? Why are you only coming now?”
Roelin, lying in bed, rubbed her eyes and sat up as if she had spotted me through barely opened lids.
Bathed in the soft moonlight in the dark room, she looked serene and utterly lovely.
I thought it would be a scene I would never forget, even until the day I died.
“Was I too late? Were you very sick?”
I had purposely come late at night—how had she recognized me at once? It was simply astonishing.
“I was sick. (Do you know how much I missed you? If I say I’m hurting, you won’t leave, right?)”
Hearing her inner thoughts, I let out a small laugh.
“When I heard that Your Highness was in critical condition because of my mistake, I was devastated. I wanted to run to you, but my situation didn’t allow it. So I’ve only come now.”
“Tch, you still should’ve come sooner. Idiot. (My brothers said I’d never see you again. Thank you for coming to find me.)”
“Do you hate me?”
“How could I ever hate you? I was happy because of you. (I’ll never forget you. I shouldn’t ask you to stay here with me forever, right?)”
Seeing tears well in Roelin’s eyes, mine grew hot as well.
I had only wanted to confirm that she was healthy. But now it felt like we were exchanging a final farewell, and my heart ached.
“If Your Highness waits for me, I’ll come to see you again anytime.”
“Really?”
“Of course. So until I come back, you must eat well, sleep well, and grow strong.”
“Okay. I promise.”
She gave me her pinky finger with a faint smile.
After we hooked fingers in promise, Roelin closed her eyes.
“…Ah, I’m tired now. (If I don’t pretend to sleep, El won’t leave. For her sake, I have to keep my eyes shut and hold back my tears.)”
Roelin, whom I’d always thought selfish, now closed her eyes pretending to sleep for my sake. My heart wavered. It felt as if leaving like this meant I would never see her again, and tears kept falling.
“Hic… I wanted to decorate Your Highness’s wedding with my own hands….”
“… (Idiot. My wedding is far away. Why does that matter? You didn’t even have a proper wedding yourself.)”
“If you have children, I wanted to raise them with my own hands.”
“… (You’re still young too. Sometimes you act like you’re so grown up.)”
“When Your Highness becomes Emperor, I thought I’d be the happiest person in the world. I always wanted to devote my loyalty to you. But because of my foolish mistake, everything was ruined. Please forget me and keep good people by your side.”
I knew she wasn’t asleep.
Revealing my ambition to make her Emperor was deliberate.
Even without me, I wanted her to move toward her future with firm resolve.
This wasn’t an otome game—it was her real life.
“(What about my brothers… and me….)”
“When that time comes, I’ll return. To your side.”
With those words, I closed my eyes. I was about to break the branch Risma had given me to return to him when someone suddenly grabbed my wrist tightly.
Startled, I turned my head—and saw Kyle glaring at me with eyes full of fury.
Afraid Roelin might open her eyes, I made no sound. As if he had been waiting, he let out a sharp tch.
Just as I was about to return to Risma, Kyle seized me and brought me back to that unfamiliar house I had fled from.
His brows were furrowed in anger, but I couldn’t say a word.
“Where did you disappear to?”
“Why are you curious?”
I didn’t want to recklessly reveal where Risma was.
If trouble followed, Risma would be in danger. I couldn’t foolishly expose that place.
“……”
“I heard that unless one is the Dragon’s bride, one cannot remain here. So I thought I should find a place where I truly belong….”
As if he didn’t want to hear another word, Kyle transformed everything in the room into a white void.
The sunlit window and the soft blankets vanished. The empty space no longer looked like a place meant for humans.
“What are you doing? Why make everything disappear?”
“I wanted to show you my feelings.”
“That’s ridiculous. How can this be your feelings?”
White walls, ceiling, and floor. A space where everything had vanished felt suffocating and terrifying.
It felt like being trapped. I was frightened there might be no door to escape.
“I thought you had disappeared.”
“Disappeared?”
“This is the Dragon’s Forest. If a human who isn’t the Dragon’s bride enters, even their soul is completely erased.”
“Then why would you bring me to such a place…?”
At his words, my breath caught.
I had thought Yuliter’s attempt to drive me away was simply sensitive and prickly—but I had never imagined such a shocking truth hidden beneath it.
“I’m not saying you must become my bride immediately. If you wish, I can wait longer.”
“Then I’ll answer now. I don’t want to see you turn your back on the Empire because of me. You have served there as a guardian deity for so many years….”
“The moment they coveted you, the contract was broken. I am no longer their guardian.”
At Kyle’s firm voice as he abandoned the Empire without hesitation, my whole body froze.
Feeling as though I had stolen the guardian deity that Roelin so desperately needed, strength left my legs—and I collapsed to the floor.
