Chapter 74
Heinrich also spotted Nadia and urged his horse down the hill. When he leapt from the saddle his face was twisted, giving him the look of a fierce beast.
“Your Grace — here, no, I….”
Nadia wanted to ask why Heinrich was here, whether he had followed her, or if he had seen her use magic. From the moment he failed to find her a magic tutor, she felt every promise about magic had been broken — yet fear came before anger.
Heinrich strode over to Nadia and, with a tortured expression, hugged her. His embrace filled her whole view. The pounding of his heart echoed loudly in Nadia’s ears; she felt warmth from him as if he had rushed here in haste.
Nadia gently patted Heinrich’s back. She realized from his rough, pained expression that his look was not pure fury.
“Your Grace, are you all right?”
“Isn’t that what I should be asking? Where are you hurt?”
Heinrich let Nadia go from his arms and grasped her shoulders. He inspected her face and the nape of her neck, rolled up her sleeve to check her arm. He even sat her on a nearby rock and began to remove her shoes, as if he would only be satisfied once he had checked every inch.
“W-wait. Your Grace, this is—”
Flustered, Nadia grabbed Heinrich’s wrist. He looked up at her, squeezed his eyes shut as if coming to his senses, then mouthed an apology.
“I apologize for my rudeness.”
“It’s okay…”
Nadia tucked her feet together under the hem of her dress and blushed.
She turned her gaze away from Heinrich and tried to calm herself.
“I’m a little hurt, but I’ll be fine after treatment. Others are worse off than me. Besides, there are still people chasing us — we need to get away from here. Arkhis and I can walk, so if it’s all right, at least take Vivian and that child—”
Heinrich cut her off by scooping Nadia up and mounting her on his horse. He looked ready to ride off immediately.
Nadia panicked and struggled, but escaping his firm arms was not easy.
“Your Grace! Your Grace!”
Heinrich seated the struggling Nadia in the saddle and looked at her squarely.
“The people pursuing you were handled by my knights — they’re likely dead. The remaining three will be taken by my men; you should come with me first.”
Nadia’s eyes trembled fiercely. Each time Heinrich behaved like this, Nadia felt as though her chest would collapse.
“What if other people or beasts appear while we wait? I want to stay and wait for the knights. I can use magic….”
Her voice diminished as she spoke of magic.
Heinrich listened quietly to Nadia, pinched his brows and muttered something with his lips. No sound came, but it was clearly a curse.
Startled, Nadia seized Heinrich’s shoulder.
“Your Grace, what did you just say—”
Heinrich shrugged her off and turned away.
“You haven’t changed.”
He took several steps away. That small movement made Nadia anxious — it felt as if he might leave for good.
Of course: Nadia’s mana-sensitivity still allowed her to perceive everyone’s emotions at this place. Heinrich’s heart was filled with resentment.
The thought that Heinrich hated her so much sent ice to her fingertips.
Nadia searched for the stirrup to dismount, but Heinrich’s horse was unusually tall; she found it hard to reach the stirrup with her foot.
Seeing her struggle, Heinrich sighed and came closer.
“…ask for help if you need it.”
His words were almost scolding. Nadia, stung by unfairness, couldn’t help but retort.
“I didn’t get on of my own will.”
“Sure you didn’t.”
Heinrich’s tone was sarcastic as he helped her off the saddle. The sudden touch of ground nearly made her stumble, but she braced with both knees and avoided a scene.
Nadia couldn’t shake the feeling that his sour manner was because of her.
She nervously stroked the horse’s flank and then, hesitating, offered an apology — not because she wanted to, but because she feared a late apology might wound Heinrich further.
“Your Grace, I’m sorry. You told me not to use magic…”
As expected, Heinrich’s eyes hardened. He reached as if to grip Nadia’s shoulder, then drew back without touching her.
“I didn’t mean ‘don’t use magic’ when you were about to die. That promise… I broke it first, so there’s nothing for you to apologize for.”
Nadia dropped her gaze sullenly.
She had always been praised as a genius at the academy, recognized for savvy politics after becoming a duchess, and in her life as Nadia she was constantly called clever by the people of the domain.
Yet strangely, human relationships were always difficult. People kept being disappointed, upset, or angry with her.
She wanted to calm Heinrich’s anger, but without knowing why he was angry she could not apologize properly.
Biting her lower lip, she clenched her fists.
“What should I apologize for?”
Heinrich looked slightly surprised at Nadia’s question, but then turned away with determined resolve. He glanced up the hill and said,
“I didn’t come for an apology. My knights will arrive soon; we’ll move separately then. I’ll take you where you want to go.”
With that, he fully turned his back. He meant he no longer wished to speak.
Nadia watched Heinrich’s broad back. The resentment in his heart was still visible to her.
She painfully realized how arrogant she had been.
She wanted to protect Heinrich, but she couldn’t. As the baroness’s daughter, she had limits, while Heinrich was the high Duke Baldwin.
The idea that she had to cut Heinrich out to discard her old self, Ribegna, was itself contradictory; even as she thought that, she had constantly wanted to stay near him.
Nadia approached Heinrich but could neither embrace him nor take his arm; she only managed to clutch the edge of his cloak.
“Your Grace, wait.”
Her grip was so weak he could have shrugged it off, yet he didn’t. Instead, he turned as if he had been waiting for this.
Nadia felt close to tears as she looked up at Heinrich.
“I want to help you. Anything — I don’t mind. If you need a strategist, I’ll be your strategist; if you need a secretary, I’ll be your secretary. A maid is fine, or… stable hand — though that’s too far…”
She had done hard labor before; she could be a stable hand. But as a stable hand she wouldn’t be able to keep close to Heinrich.
Mana colors spread over Heinrich’s body. Nadia had never seen someone whose emotions radiated in so many hues at once, and for that reason she couldn’t discern any single feeling clearly.
Her hands trembled from the tension. As her fingers slipped from the cloak, Heinrich caught her hand.
“Why?”
He gripped her hand as if to crush it and then handled it with the care of someone holding a soap bubble.
“Aren’t you Hesse’s heiress? Didn’t you cherish Hesse? Now that things have settled for him, you’d become nothing more than a maid or stable hand? Are you sane? Why on earth—”
The more Heinrich grew confused, the more oddly,
“To be by your side, Your Grace.”
Nadia found the right answer.
“There are children far smarter than me in Hesse. If he becomes the heir, I’ll help him. And I want Baldwin’s—”
“To become nothing more than Baldwin’s maid after all this time…!” Heinrich shouted.
Nadia didn’t flinch. She kept looking at him. Resentment still stirred in his heart; Nadia desperately wished for it to fade.
Heinrich glared as if he could kill her at any moment, but in the end he pulled her into his arms.
Darkness filled Nadia’s vision and Heinrich’s breath came from all sides — it was as if she had been swallowed.
Heinrich hugged her tighter and, like someone in pain, murmured,
“…I’ve lost.”
