Chapter 47
The Memories I Couldn’t Throw Away
I had expected the commander to agree immediately.
After all, I had already told him well in advance that I wanted to speak with Ernant alone.
But what came out of the commander’s mouth was a complete contradiction to my expectations.
“My lieutenant is not a possession. I cannot lend her out.”
At the commander’s sharp refusal, Ernant’s eye twitched.
His displeasure was plain for anyone to see.
If the commander continued to reject the request, it would undoubtedly stir conflict.
But—
“Even so, since Yulia has something to report to His Majesty, I’ll authorize her temporary leave under my authority.”
Perhaps because I had already secured permission yesterday to meet Ernant alone, the commander eventually relented.
Ernant still seemed slightly offended, though he didn’t go so far as to express his irritation outwardly.
Of course, he didn’t forget to leave a sarcastic remark.
“How gracious of you, dear little brother.”
With that biting comment, Ernant extended his hand to me like an escort.
“Shall we, Yulia?”
“……”
Truthfully, I wanted to stay by the commander’s side.
But I had to settle things with Ernant.
I awkwardly took his extended hand, only to let it go as soon as we stepped out of the barracks.
Ernant chuckled lightly at my action and muttered,
“Back then, you used to blush and fluster when I held your hand.”
“……I did.”
I added in a quiet voice.
“Back then.”
Ernant looked at me once in silence and began walking ahead, toward the carriage.
We boarded the carriage and soon departed.
Headed to the place where Ernant said he had prepared a “small token of gratitude.”
Of course, I had no intention of accepting whatever “gift” Ernant had in mind.
I was only going with him to get the opportunity to speak with him alone.
This time, I was determined to persuade him to stop his madness.
I couldn’t allow him to continue synthesizing chimeras and launching attacks on Brausenberg.
And more than anything, I was going to make it clear—
I would no longer be his puppet.
“……”
As I quietly organized my thoughts, I glanced sideways—and our eyes happened to meet.
Ernant smiled and asked,
“Aren’t you excited?”
When I remained silent, he continued,
“The gift I prepared.”
“No. I’m worried. Who knows what dangerous thing you’ve brought this time?”
“Ah, you must still be rattled from when I suddenly unveiled the lab during the founding day celebration. Don’t worry—this isn’t anything like that.”
“……”
I suddenly found it difficult to meet his gaze and turned my head to look out the window again.
And then, I finally voiced the plea that had been swirling in my mouth the whole ride.
“Could you please stop?”
“Stop what?”
“You know exactly what I’m referring to.”
Still staring out the window, I said it plainly.
Ernant responded,
“Sorry, but I can’t stop.”
“Even if your reckless actions put you and everyone else in danger?”
Unable to hold back, I turned to face him again.
He, too, was looking at me.
His green eyes, usually gentle, now gleamed sharply and intensely.
“Have you ever thought of yourself as blessed?”
“……Blessed?”
“I mean, have you ever considered that you were lucky enough to have something others can’t achieve even after a lifetime of effort? Like being chosen by the gods and enjoying privileges because of it?”
“I’ve never really thought of it that way.”
I answered calmly.
“What I’ve achieved isn’t something the gods gave me. It’s the result of my own effort.”
“……”
“To become more skilled than others, to be respected by the knights—I trained from dawn until late at night. I woke earlier and went to sleep later than anyone else in the order.”
Ernant nodded, as if he had expected that answer.
“I figured you’d say that. Which means—you’ll never understand me.”
“……?”
“Those chosen by the gods can never understand those who aren’t. They don’t even try to understand the deep sense of deprivation the unchosen feel.”
Leaning in closer, he continued,
“You don’t understand my sense of loss, Yulia. That means you have no right to stop me.”
I tried to make sense of his cryptic words.
Being chosen by the gods… the privilege he mentioned…
He was probably referring to “abilities.”
The one thing Emperor Ernant didn’t have.
But what did any of that have to do with using monsters for strange experiments?
Could it be that he had discovered a way to awaken abilities in the unawakened through chimeras?
That thought crossed my mind—
But I soon dismissed it.
Such a thing was impossible.
I had never once heard of a way to artificially awaken someone who was born unawakened.
There had to be another reason Ernant was so obsessed with chimeras.
As my mind grew more tangled in thoughts, the carriage suddenly came to a stop.
“Ah, looks like we’re here. This is where your gift awaits.”
Ernant sounded almost excited as he opened the carriage door.
And the moment I saw the scene beyond the open door, a strange sense of familiarity washed over me.
What… is this place?
Feeling a strange mix of confusion and recognition, I stepped down from the carriage and took in the view again.
A charming little villa built of brown brick.
A garden full of blooming white roses.
Something about it tugged at my memory, and after studying it for a while, I finally remembered where we were.
“This is the ‘White Rose’ villa. The place where we first met.”
“I knew you’d remember.”
Ernant smiled and nodded.
“Yes. The place where it all began.”
“……”
Frozen under the weight of an unknown emotion, I stood still as Ernant led me into the garden.
There, in the heart of the rose garden, he began to recount the past.
“The late emperor used to visit this place often. And when he grew lonely, he would invite his retainers.”
“……”
“One of them was your father, the late Marquess Shunestern. He brought his family here at the emperor’s request.”
At that, the memories came flooding back in full.
Yes, I had come here with my father.
And I had met the late emperor.
I remembered him as a kind man.
He had patted my head and told me to become a fine knight.
To serve and support his sons well.
“I remember everything. It was the late emperor who introduced me to Your Majesty.”
Commander Martin hadn’t been able to attend that day due to other matters.
So it had been just the two of us as children at the villa.
Ernant and I.
Too young to understand social ranks or responsibilities, we had run through this rose garden, playing together.
Was that when I first started to like him?
I no longer remember clearly.
But it is precisely that vagueness that makes memories seem so beautiful in hindsight.
“The emperor, and our parents—they were all so healthy back then…”
As I murmured wistfully, Ernant nodded beside me.
“Time is cruel. They’re all gone now.”
“……”
“But they didn’t leave us empty-handed. They gave us so much. And memories are one of those gifts.”
He picked a white rose from the garden.
Bathed in sunlight, the bloom looked almost creamy white.
He gently tucked the flower behind my ear.
“A memory given to me by the late emperor—I now give to you as a gift.”
“……A memory?”
“More precisely, this entire villa where our memories live.”
I couldn’t quite hide my surprise as I asked,
“So the gift you mentioned… was this villa?”
“Yes. You don’t care for jewels or dresses, right? So I chose something more meaningful.”
“……”
Ernant then slowly began walking toward the villa.
And I followed.
As we stepped inside, the blurred memories grew sharper.
The interior remained exactly as it had been in the past.
Eventually, Ernant stopped in front of a small fireplace tucked into the corner of a cozy hall.
“Remember this? We used to read together here. You were too young to read properly, so I read fairy tales to you.”
“……I remember. I especially liked the story about the cursed prince and princess. I kept pestering Your Majesty to read it over and over.”
“You really do remember it all. I must have read it over ten times. I can still recall the plot—
It was about a prince cursed by a spell, saved by the princess’s kiss of love, right?”
