Chapter 41
“Do I really need to know?”
“As expected, you never fail to live up to my expectations.”
He lifted his hand and brushed my hair back. Between his pale, slender fingers, my golden-brown hair coiled like threads of silk.
“My indifferent, cold-hearted fiancée.”
He smiled. Unlike the burning fire in his eyes, his smile was tinged with bitterness, yet there was an almost desperate quality to it.
“You always draw lines and raise your thorns. You don’t even care what it feels like for the one being pushed away by you.”
Lowering his gaze, he lifted his hand, still entwined with my hair. Bathed in the sunset, the golden strands were tinged a deep crimson.
“It’s already been five years since we became engaged. And yet, I’m still nothing more than a stranger to you.”
He brought my hair to his lips. With the shadows of the sunset on his face, he looked almost reverent—like someone offering a prayer to God.
“What must I do to step inside the walls you’ve built around yourself?”
He raised his eyes and met mine. The moment our gazes locked, my heart pounded violently. It wasn’t the same kind of pain I’d always felt when looking at him—it was something strange yet familiar, and it sent chills over my skin.
I pushed against his chest with both hands. As if respecting my intent, he released my hair and stepped back. From his movements alone, it seemed the wild intensity from moments ago had vanished, yet his eyes still burned as they fixed on me.
I couldn’t fathom his intentions. Why was he saying these things to me?
Then or now, even if he hid the truth, he had never outright lied to me. So what he was saying now was the truth. The part I couldn’t understand was—why did he care about me at all?
“Why?”
Back then, he didn’t care what I did or said. All he ever gave me was the courtesy and respect befitting a spouse. So why was he acting so differently now?
“Why are you telling me this? No matter how I feel about Your Highness, isn’t the only thing that matters to you my background?”
“Yes, I desire your background. Your lineage, your family, your wealth—everything about them is enticing.”
It was a blunt, straightforward answer, with no attempt to soften it.
“At first, I only thought it would be enough as long as you didn’t get in my way.”
He stepped toward me again until we were just half a step apart. Instead of closing the distance completely, he reached out both hands toward me.
“But how did it come to this?”
His large hands cupped my cheeks. Warmth flowed from his palms into my skin.
“They say you don’t notice your clothes getting wet in a drizzle. At some point, I realized I was counting the days until I could see you again.”
He leaned his forehead against mine, his voice brimming with earnestness.
“When I’m with you, I find myself smiling. I want to always remain in your gaze. The moment I saw you in that man’s arms, I wanted to tear him apart. Just imagining you having another man’s child makes me feel like I’m going insane. If this is what they call love, then I love you.”
My heart thudded violently. This was the confession I had once desperately longed to hear from him. But while my heart burned hot, my mind whispered coldly—
Do you trust him?
What if he’s mistaken right now?
Even if his confession truly was love, where was the guarantee that his feelings wouldn’t change the moment he met her?
“That’s impossible.”
I pushed him away. This time, unlike before, he didn’t step back so easily. Our foreheads parted, but the distance between us remained only half a step.
“How can you be so sure?”
Back then, he hadn’t loved me. Those honey-sweet eyes and lips whispering of love had never been directed at me.
“You say what you feel now is love? No. Absolutely not.”
“Not love? And what do you know to speak so confidently? How could you possibly know my heart?”
I wanted to shout that I already knew the woman he would love. If I could, I would bring her before him right now, just to see if he could still claim to love me in her presence.
“I can’t trust you.”
“You can’t trust me?”
“There is no trust between us at all.”
“Have I ever done anything to make myself untrustworthy to you?”
His expression hardened, his tone turning into a growl. He seemed deeply wounded in his pride.
“Is that your answer to my confession?”
“What answer were you expecting from me?”
He was the Crown Prince of the Empire, raised from birth to rule over others. Such a man had probably never made such an earnest confession before. Perhaps it had taken him considerable courage. And yet, to have that confession completely denied—it was only natural for the present-day him, who knew nothing of the past, to react this way.
But that didn’t mean I was obliged to accept it.
“Were you expecting me to weep at your sincerity and declare that I loved you too?”
“Vee!”
“Don’t fool yourself. You and I have been bound from the start by a relationship of necessity. There is no heart in it.”
“Yes, I’d forgotten about that damn contract.”
He ground his teeth, spitting the words out like venom.
“Like father, like daughter—both you and your father are exactly the same. Damn it.”
He muttered a curse at the Marquis. I couldn’t understand why he would suddenly bring up the Marquis in this situation.
Wasn’t our marriage supposed to be the contract where, by marrying me, House Ellient would support his power, and in return gain the prestige and influence of being the Imperial in-laws?
Somehow, it felt like the contract I knew of and the one he was talking about were not the same. Had there been another agreement between him and the Marquis I didn’t know about? Before I could ask, he spoke again.
“To hell with the contract. I want you.”
Every time I looked at him, my heart beat wildly. My heart reacted to every word and gesture he made. It was like the instinct of a fledgling bird searching for its mother.
“Please, Vee, don’t reject me.”
His earnest eyes, his sweet confession—they still made my heart race. But my mind still refused him.
“Are you throwing a childish tantrum, saying that because you love me, I must love you back?”
“If throwing a tantrum could win your heart, then should I?”
He looked as if he would do exactly that if it were possible. Was this really the same man I knew?
I found myself looking at him anew. The man before me felt different from the Crown Prince I had known until now, almost as if he were a completely separate person.
Why had he changed? Or had he really changed at all? Could it be that despite my denials, I had still been clinging to the memory of the man he once was?
Until now, I had feared loving him—not love itself, but the thought of losing myself and crumbling apart because of it.
If I loved him, would I collapse again like before?
I didn’t know. Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn’t. But was I really going to avoid him for the rest of my life over that mere possibility?
No. I didn’t want that. Why should I run away?
“Go ahead and try.”
My heart still raced whenever I looked at him, but I didn’t know if that was love or not. So the only way to find out was to test it.
“Whether you throw tantrums like a child or try to seduce me, see if you can change my heart.”
And if I ended up loving him, then I could decide what to do when that time came.
“Do your utmost to make my heart turn toward you, Your Highness.”
I looked up at him and smiled.
