Chapter 61
The clenched fist came flying toward her head in an instant. She was going to get hit. Alessia squeezed her eyes shut and ducked her head, if only to take the blow to her face a little less directly.
“Hey, hey! Didn’t he say not today?”
“Oh, damn. Right.”
Someone suddenly grabbed Pascal’s shoulder from behind. It was another cousin. Pascal turned around with a glare, muttered a curse, then shoved Alessia aside with his shoulder and walked past her. The heavy body sent her spinning, but that was the end of it.
He’s… just leaving?
She stared blankly at the backs of her cousins as they walked away, unable to believe it. For Pascal to leave her alone after botching his test—that wasn’t something that happened often. Just moments ago, he’d looked ready to kill her.
When his fist came up as usual, she had thought there was no avoiding the beating, and yet nothing happened. Someone had even stepped in to stop him.
He said, ‘Not today’?
Who? And why give such an order?
She didn’t know, but it was a stroke of luck for her. Maybe her parents had finally decided they couldn’t just stand by anymore. The bullying had been getting worse and worse, and after all, she was still their daughter.
The thought made her heart tremble. Except for the day she was born, she’d done nothing but disappoint her parents for the past ten years. Even though she still couldn’t feel any magic, Alessia vowed that if she were given another chance, she would seize it with everything she had.
“…I—I can really eat all of this myself?”
“Yes.”
It was truly a lucky day.
Late at night, Alessia was called out alone. She gasped at the table laden with food, and then gasped again when she learned it had all been prepared just for her.
A roasted suckling pig with perfectly crisp skin, a pie of sliced lamb topped with mashed potatoes, steaming venison soup, and bread slathered with thick strawberry jam.
Never in her life had such a feast been set before her. Maybe it had been different when she was very young—she couldn’t remember—but these days, no one paid any attention to her meals. Most days, she ate whatever scraps she could steal from the kitchen.
She began to devour the food greedily. Lately, the weather had been warming, which meant the kitchen used up ingredients quickly and left nothing out, so she hadn’t eaten properly in days.
The rich food quickly made her stomach heavy, but she didn’t stop. Who knew when she’d have a chance like this again? She had to eat as much as she could while she could.
“If you’re done eating, follow me.”
Only when her stomach was so full it felt as if even air couldn’t fit did the meal end. Each breath she took reeked of meat. Her father and uncle led her down into the basement.
The dim, shadowy basement looked like a prison from the books she’d read—except instead of criminals, the cells held beasts.
Grrrr…
The guttural growl made her flinch. A black wolf glared at them from inside a cage, one ear twisted into a hideous shape that made it hard to look at. She quickly turned her head away.
Farther in, instead of iron bars, there was a door. Next to it was a chain with a handle, as if connected to something in the room beyond. She was still wondering about it when her father stopped and signaled to her uncle.
As if he’d been waiting for the cue, her uncle pulled a small jar from his coat and dumped its contents over her.
Splat! Alessia gasped and stumbled back as the sudden splash drenched her. The jar wasn’t large, but it was enough to soak her worn dress.
Honey?
It felt sticky and smelled sweet—not like water at all. The thin linen clung uncomfortably to her skin, but she didn’t dare complain.
“Open the door.”
At her father’s order, her uncle opened it and jerked his chin toward the inside. She stepped in, eyes darting about, but saw nothing. The room was so dark she could only roll her eyes around in the gloom—until her uncle lit a torch.
“…!”
Inside, iron bars stretched across the room. Alessia realized the chain and handle outside must work like a pulley to raise and lower them.
But more shocking than that was what lay beyond the bars—dozens of dogs. They were obviously not pets. Their skin clung tightly to their bones, and dried blood stained the floor between them. The stench was overpowering.
Her stomach churned. She had an idea of what this was about, and it made her ill—especially on top of the heavy meal of meat she’d just eaten. She barely kept from retching.
Woof! Woof-woof!
Some of the dogs began barking viciously from behind the bars, while others—who had been trembling—started to rise to their feet. Alessia realized they hadn’t been sleeping of their own will.
“How long?”
“They’ll all be awake within ten minutes.”
“That’s enough.”
Her father’s and uncle’s conversation confirmed her suspicion. She stiffened under the weight of the dogs’ collective gaze—it seemed fixed on her.
Then came a creak as the door shut. She spun around. They were gone. Dread flooded her chest.
“Father! The door’s closed! I’m still in here! I haven’t come out yet! Uncle! Father!”
She started with a careful knock, her voice rising as panic set in. The handle wouldn’t turn no matter how she twisted it, and there was no reply.
“Please open the door! I’m in here! Can you hear me? I said I’m in here—Father! Uncle!”
She pounded on the door until her small hands swelled, even throwing her body against it, but it didn’t budge.
“Father, it’s too scary in here! Please… please open the door…”
She didn’t know how long she pleaded before she finally heard something turning.
Were they opening it? Her heart leapt, eyes filling with hope.
Then she froze.
Crrrk, crrrk… Metal scraped above her head.
No… It can’t be.
She turned slowly. The bars were rising. And only then did a reply come.
“When your life truly hangs in the balance, you’ll gain enlightenment.”
The dry voice made her understand at last. Red eyes filled with despair.
It had been an unusually lucky day.
The faint memory always ended there. She hadn’t dreamt it in a long time.
It hurt…
Her whole body burned and throbbed as if scalded. She couldn’t feel her limbs, her mind was clouded. It was like reliving that day—tortured by unbearable pain.
Was it because of the dream? she thought vaguely.
Ah… right. I was fighting a monster.
Then reality returned. She was in the Monster Forest, watching Kaon cut down the creatures without hesitation, as if he’d been born with the gift, and assisting him as best she could.
And then…
She shivered. One monster had swatted a knight aside with a single swipe and then leapt toward her. She should have used magic, but with the beast in her face, her body froze.
But the monster hadn’t been after her—it was going for the knight who had just slain another and was catching his breath, unaware of the danger.
Use magic.
Her mind urged her, but she hesitated. It was too close; she might incinerate the knight along with the beast. The magic in her ring couldn’t be controlled with precision.
If you do nothing, that knight will die. Everyone will blame you. They’ll say the mage just stood there and watched. Can you live with that?
No—she couldn’t. She had only just begun to settle into this life. She hadn’t even secured her footing yet. She couldn’t let them see how useless she was.
She couldn’t bring herself to cast magic, but she couldn’t let the knight die either. She didn’t want to be hated again.
So she threw herself forward.
It all happened in under three seconds.
What happened next, she couldn’t remember. Darkness swallowed her vision, her thoughts flickering in and out.
Am I dead?
But if she were, she wouldn’t feel this much pain.
Ah… She just wanted to sleep.
She kept her eyes closed, wanting to close them again and again. She was exhausted—tired of life, tired of fighting. She’d survived too many brushes with death. Maybe she’d been living on borrowed time all along. Maybe it was time to rest.
“Stop playing around and get up.”
Just as she was about to let go, that voice came.
“I know you’re not dying like this.”
How would you know? she thought faintly.
“Hurry up. If you wake up any later, I won’t give you anything.”
I told you, I don’t want anything. Stop talking about giving me things.
The voice was strangely impossible to ignore. She kept answering it in her mind until, reluctantly, she felt herself waking up. She hadn’t wanted to.
“….”
With effort, she pried open her heavy eyelids, her blurry vision slowly brightening into focus.
“Don’t piss me off—wake up already…”
The voice was clearer now. Alessia turned her head with difficulty and saw her arm wrapped thickly in bandages.
So… he saw it.
That was her first thought. Seeing the ugly scars on her arm—scars she couldn’t even bear to look at herself—would surely make him like her even less.
Then she noticed the large hand holding hers. Kaon’s hand. No wonder one arm felt so heavy—he’d been pressing down on it.
“Hey…”
It’s heavy, move your hand. She tried to say it, but no sound came out. Even a single syllable was too much effort.
“You…!”
Kaon froze, as if the world had stopped. Then, slowly, he lifted his head. Alessia started to speak again but faltered.
“You, you—”
Kaon Ferdinand was crying.
