Chapter 43
“Where have you been?”
It was when Amelia returned to the western palace after spending some time in the library. Louis, who had comfortably taken over a room without even asking, immediately questioned her.
“The library. There’s not much to do when Ian is asleep.”
At her answer, Louis sighed.
“Is this really the time to be so relaxed?”
She was implying that Amelia was treating the imperial palace like some kind of vacation resort. It wasn’t an entirely unreasonable accusation—Amelia had dismissed all the attendants just in case.
“It’s not like there’s a set deadline.”
“So you’re just going to enjoy yourself at your leisure?”
“Well, it’s not like you’re the one urgently trying to get my freedom back, are you?”
Louis paused at Amelia’s response—it was fair.
“The Temple won’t wait around forever, you know. And have you never thought that your freedom is also tied to mine?”
But Louis also had her own reasons to push Amelia forward. In the Skipper family, it was tradition that at least one woman would serve as the handmaid to the chosen priestess. There were only a few trustworthy people who could keep the secrets and monitor the priestess.
So, although she was considered very useful within the family, Louis was essentially no better than a well-decorated cage bird. A handmaid to a priestess could enjoy wealth and honor—but, just like the priestess, she had no freedom. The right to live her own life, to have a family, was equally denied.
“If the emperor ends up getting married, it’ll be that much harder to get close to him.”
Louis grumbled. Amelia blinked slowly at a topic she had never even considered.
Twenty-two. Ivan was young to be the ruler of the Empire, but not too young to be a man. In Escleef, people typically got engaged before they came of age and held their coming-of-age ceremony together with the wedding. The fact that Ivan didn’t have a fiancée yet was, in a way, the stranger thing.
With that in mind, Amelia started to question her relationship with Ivan.
What exactly are we? Where is this going? Are we just going to stay like this? Until when?
“I heard he’s already looking for a noble house to send a marriage proposal to.”
As if on cue, Louis’ disgruntled voice cut into her thoughts. Amelia froze. She turned her head stiffly toward Louis, as if her neck might creak.
“What?”
It was all she could manage to say. Her reaction might have seemed suspicious, but Louis didn’t seem to think it odd.
“I ran into my father earlier, when he came into the palace. He said the emperor is narrowing down the houses he’ll be sending a marriage proposal to. Not that it concerns our house—the Skippers won’t be receiving one anyway.”
Louis seemed completely absorbed in just recalling the conversation with her father.
“That’s why you need to move quickly. Even if he is the emperor, he won’t want to risk getting criticized for fooling around right before a royal marriage.”
A man who dallied with a mistress right before a royal engagement would not be looked upon kindly. Ivan would surely be cautious. And besides, spending the night with an unmarried emperor was very different from being labeled the mistress of a married one. That was Louis’ point.
“Can you arrange a meeting with the emperor?”
At Amelia’s question, Louis looked unsure and shifted her eyes awkwardly. No matter how much she tried to act like she was in control around Amelia, Louis was still just a guest here in the imperial palace. She barely spoke to Ivan, let alone had the right to request an audience with him.
“Should I ask if you can join him for dinner?”
“No, no. That wouldn’t be proper.”
He’d be coming tonight anyway. Amelia recalled his warning not to acknowledge him in public within the palace and quietly bit her fingernail.
A strange anxiety sank deep into her chest.
She couldn’t even think about dozing off tonight. Amelia sat with her forehead buried in her knees, trying to calm the storm of thoughts that gave her a pounding headache. She needed to stop thinking. She wouldn’t get answers by agonizing alone.
I’ll ask him when he comes. What are we? What’s going to happen to us?
She was bracing herself when the side door creaked open without a sound—and Ivan appeared. So that’s how he always comes in. Amelia’s eyes turned to the terrace, where the wind billowed the canopy drapes. The sheer fabric was thin enough to reveal his silhouette as he came closer with every breeze.
“Ivan.”
“You’re still awake.”
Ivan stepped through the curtain, revealing his full figure. Amelia reached out to him, no longer separated by that vague, translucent veil.
“I almost asked Louis to arrange a meeting with you earlier.”
“You figured I’d come tonight anyway?”
He spoke with a light, teasing tone.
“Well… we even met in the library. So I had a feeling.”
She forced a smile, trying to hide the unease in her chest.
“Ivan…”
Her fingers gently grazed his face. The warmth of his skin helped settle her nerves. Ivan looked straight into her eyes, giving her his full attention.
“Why won’t you sleep with me?”
But even he wasn’t immune to such an unexpected question. For a moment, he looked genuinely taken aback.
“It’s not like it would be the first time. So why the hesitation now?”
Her point was reasonable—on the surface, at least.
“You’re not avoiding me, are you?”
“If I were, I wouldn’t be coming here at all. That’d be the easiest way, wouldn’t it?”
Ivan sat at the edge of the bed and took Amelia’s hand, which had been resting on his chin, and gently lowered it.
“You’re thinking about this all wrong.”
“Then why…?”
“How long do you think it’s been since you gave birth?”
He sighed softly as he asked. It had barely been four months since Amelia had Ian. Sure, she might technically be recovered, but Ivan wasn’t some beast who went into heat at the sight of a woman’s skirt. He had no desire to paw at someone who had so recently gone through childbirth.
“It’s not about me. It’s about what’s best for you.”
He would never know the pain of childbirth. His body couldn’t produce a child. That was something he could never fully understand, no matter how long he lived. So the only thing he could do was help her heal.
“I’m fine now,”
Amelia whispered, pulling him closer. Her soft, full curves pressed against his solid chest. Ivan’s hand, resting on the bed, tightened slightly.
“Amelia…”
“Can’t you just hold me?”
Though he tried to gently object, Amelia clung to him. She just wanted a bit of comfort—just enough to feel like she mattered to him. Ivan wasn’t the type of man to toy with a woman for no reason, nor the kind who’d act on lust with just anyone.
She trusted him.
“If that’s what you want, then… okay.”
Ivan loosened the arms that had wrapped around her like a binding, whispering the words softly. When he lowered his lips to the nape of her neck, her small frame shifted, now completely covered by his larger body.
At the same time, his hand slid under her nightgown like a serpent. Amelia flinched at the touch that explored her in secret places.
“Still… I feel a little uneasy about this.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. Their eyes met—his glowing blue—and hers filled with tears for reasons she couldn’t quite explain.
“Tonight is just for you.”
But Ivan didn’t seem to notice her tears. His lips trailed from her neck to her chest, then slowly slid down toward her legs. It all happened before she could even grab his shoulders.
“Ah!”
Her slender legs ended up draped over his shoulders. Where is he even going?! Amelia flailed her arms in panic, but Ivan caught her hands, laced his fingers with hers, and pinned them gently to the bed.
“S-stop…”
She twisted under him, her voice trembling, but she couldn’t move her hands. That was all she could do—there was no resisting any further.
At some point, the man became merciless, relentless. Overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure, Amelia let out a short cry, then collapsed like wet cotton, panting.
Ivan raised his head with wet lips, having been completely hidden beneath her clothes moments before.
“Happy now?”
He asked shamelessly. Amelia half-glared at him before releasing the pressure from their clasped hands and reaching for his neck. Ivan obediently let himself be pulled.
She kissed his lips, tasting something unfamiliar, and wrapped her arms around him tightly.
Wishing—desperately—that this night, like one before, would last forever.
