Chapter 39
As Aaron left, Louie quietly opened the door and stepped inside. But Amelia didn’t even notice, pacing around the bedroom for a while.
“What’s bothering you so much, anyway?”
Unable to hold it in any longer, Louie spoke in a scolding tone. But even that sounded like meaningless noise brushing past Amelia’s ears.
Could she really be free? Was it truly possible to live without being imprisoned by the absurd chain of being a “Holy Legend”? Could Ian survive without being killed simply for being a boy?
“Priestess… You startled me.”
Amelia, who had been nervously biting her nails with her gaze lowered, suddenly lifted her head. Louie, who had been approaching to stop the unresponsive Amelia, took a startled step back.
“…What’s wrong?”
Spending the night with Ivan was dangerous for him. Just as Aaron had warned, if that fact were discovered, the royal family would pressure them and might even start a war.
“Don’t think Louie is the only one watching you and the child within the palace.”
But if Amelia didn’t obey Aaron’s orders, who knew what he might do to Ian? There were too many servants around Ian for her to keep track of them all, and it was even harder to know which of them might be Aaron’s minions.
“What should I do…”
Madam Howard stepped over the threshold of Amelia’s bedroom, gently cradling Ian in her arms.
“Welcome, Madam Howard.”
Amelia, who had been seated in a chair, stood up and reached out her arms. Madam Howard naturally handed the child over to Amelia.
“Thank you.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay without a wet nurse?”
Indeed, Ian calmed down easily and fell asleep quickly when he was near Amelia. But it was still concerning that she would be left alone with a baby who needed to be fed every three hours, without a wet nurse. At least, that’s how Madam Howard saw it.
“It’s fine. When I didn’t have anyone to feed him before, I often made thin rice porridge for him. And by now, he only needs to feed about once during the night.”
But since Amelia insisted this much, Madam Howard couldn’t force her to keep a wet nurse nearby. From Amelia’s perspective, it would be more stressful to have a servant—who could possibly be watching her—sleeping in the same room.
“If you feel too uncomfortable to sleep, be sure to call for Karen.”
That was the best she could offer. Amelia nodded with a smile.
“I will. Don’t worry and go.”
Madam Howard finally stepped away, after hesitating several times. Amelia, now feeling more at ease, held Ian in her arms and rubbed her face against his soft, plump skin. Maybe because he had just been fed and napped, Ian was smiling brightly.
“Feeling good?”
Amelia propped her feet on the chair and laid Ian’s body on her thighs. As her legs trembled slightly, Ian seemed to enjoy the vibrations, waving his little arms in the air and babbling.
“How adorable.”
Amelia whispered, kissing Ian’s forehead. She wanted to show this moment to Ivan too. That’s why she insisted on keeping Ian in her own room instead of leaving him with the wet nurses.
“If your father saw you, he’d think you were cute too.”
“Father, huh… If it were me, I’d finish the job quickly and leave as soon as I could.”
Louie clicked her tongue as if Amelia were hopelessly naive. But Amelia didn’t pay the slightest attention to that sound. Louie was the one who had reported Ian to Aaron the moment she noticed his hair color. Amelia never once imagined Louie would care for the boy she deemed useless.
“Louie. I want to rest, so please leave.”
“Yes.”
“No need to come back until I call you.”
Amelia coldly ordered her out. Louie turned away with a prim expression and walked toward her own room. Since dinner had already been served and it was nearly bedtime, there seemed to be no argument.
Even her final exit was displeasing. But Louie wasn’t wrong. If everything went well, Amelia could become free along with Ian.
“I wonder when Ivan will come.”
Amelia murmured.
“Don’t you want to see him too?”
She smiled and asked Ian. The little one, who didn’t yet know who his parents were, babbled something that sounded like a reply, and Amelia couldn’t help but laugh. Well-fed and well-rested by the wet nurses, Ian seemed to grow by the day.
She suddenly remembered the days shortly after Ian was born. Though he was chubby now, he had been tiny back then. And for some reason, he cried endlessly, leaving Amelia flustered. She hadn’t even accepted Louie’s help at the time, making it all the more overwhelming. Even now, she didn’t always know what the baby wanted, but back then, the world had seemed like it was collapsing.
“He’ll be here soon.”
There were days she cried along with Ian. Because she didn’t understand him. Because there was no one to help. Because she missed Ivan when she looked into Ian’s face.
She had no way of knowing if Ivan felt the same back then.
“…Shall we lie down and rest for a bit?”
She didn’t know why this uneasy feeling kept creeping in lately. Shaking her head, Amelia stood up with Ian in her arms. She laid him down on the bed and lay next to him.
“Wu… aaah…”
Ian, unaware of his mother’s anxiety, opened and closed his fists restlessly. Watching him, Amelia realized she was finally well enough to have the luxury of such thoughts.
It was such a peaceful sight. There were times she wished for just a single day to watch him like this without worry.
Don’t think strange things. Amelia reassured herself as she gently patted Ian’s round belly. Her mind, tangled with too many thoughts, slowly began to quiet down as her eyes started to close. Her hand, once stroking gently, slowed… and then stopped.
“Sorry, I dozed off.”
If Ian hadn’t started crying, she really would’ve fallen asleep. Instinctively opening her eyes, Amelia sat up and pulled down the neckline of her nightgown to feed him.
“You must’ve been hungry.”
As expected, Ian calmed down quickly. Watching him focus on eating, Amelia finally let out a big yawn behind her hand. She still wasn’t fully awake.
Only then did she start to hear and notice her surroundings. Through the slightly open window came the sound of insects, and above the bed, a dark moonlight stretched.
It was pure peace.
“…Who—”
If not for the unfamiliar figure leaning against the table.
Amelia tensed immediately, pulling Ian close and shrinking back.
“Ivan?”
But the moment she saw the golden hair shining clearly in the pale moonlight, her wariness softened. At the name Amelia whispered, Ivan rose quietly from where he had been sitting.
“Your reflexes are scary fast.”
Ivan walked slowly and sat at the edge of the bed.
“I heard crying and came to pick him up, but you woke up first.”
Amelia nodded, still dazed.
“When did you get here?”
“About an hour ago.”
“You should’ve woken me.”
“You were sleeping deeply, so I just watched for a bit before leaving.”
He answered each question, yet his gaze never left Ian. Though he must’ve seen him many times, his eyes still held wonder, as if he were realizing the child’s existence all over again.
“Such a greedy little one.”
Ian, still sleepy, had his eyes closed, but was eagerly suckling with his head nestled into her chest.
“Must’ve gotten that from me.”
Ivan muttered. His long fingers gently traced from Ian’s forehead to his nose. That finally made Ian open his eyes, revealing the deep night-like gaze that resembled Amelia.
“Isn’t he beautiful?”
Amelia asked in a whisper. Only then did Ivan look away from Ian and turn to Amelia. As if he could sense how desperately she awaited an answer, even in the dim light.
“Yeah.”
Ivan’s voice was a bit indifferent, but it was the answer Amelia had hoped for. At last, the worry faded completely from her face. It had been a foolish emotion, she realized with relief.
“…He latches well.”
Of course, that was until Ivan casually remarked with awe. Even though his gaze was fixed on the baby’s face, Amelia suddenly felt shy and shifted her body to the side.
