S(15 E) CH 10

Stepping out of the private room with even my earrings equipped, a man who appeared to be an attendant guided me toward the shop’s rear entrance. A carriage was waiting there.

The moment I climbed inside through the door the attendant held open, the carriage set off.

The attendant then informed me that we were heading to the capital, not the northern castle.

“The capital?”

“Yes. The Count has been residing at his estate in the capital for the past three years.”

I preferred the capital over the freezing North anyway, so I nodded to show I understood.

When we arrived in the capital a few days later, a spring breeze was blowing, just as I had expected from the letter. Taking the attendant’s arm, I stepped down from the carriage and gazed at the mansion. Even though this was only my second visit, it didn’t feel particularly unfamiliar. It was likely due to the Master’s aura.

“Welcome, Countess.”

The estate’s servants bowed respectfully.

“The Count is expecting you.”

I nodded silently and followed the guide who took the lead. The Count had been sitting in his office, but the moment I appeared, he sprang from his seat and approached, expressing his delight.

“Meriel!”

“It has been a while, Count.”

After offering a simple, formal greeting and straightening my posture, the Count closed the distance without caring about the onlookers and pulled me into an embrace. He patted my back, his voice trembling as if overcome with emotion.

“You’ve been through so much. You truly have suffered a great deal all this time.”

“Don’t mention it.”

A short while later, he sat me down and rambled on about various things, but I barely registered a word. I only picked out the necessary information, like the schedule, and let the rest slip from my mind. Because it was meaningless.

“Meriel.”

The Count reached out and covered my hands, which rested on my lap. Even as I watched him do it, I felt absolutely nothing. Because this, too, meant nothing.

He soon dismissed all the servants and spoke.

“I know you must be deeply disappointed in me.”

Without replying, I lifted my gaze to his face. His expression, his breathing, his tone. It all seemed perfectly human.

When I continued to stare without opening my mouth, he gave a bitter smile, patted the back of my hand lightly as if he understood, and then withdrew his touch.

“You must be exhausted today. Get some proper rest, and we shall talk properly tomorrow.”

I quietly stood up and turned around. We were the only two in the room anyway. Since there were no other humans present, I saw no need to treat that thing like a person or show it any respect, so I just tried to leave.

“Couldn’t you at least keep me company for a bit? Don’t you pity me?”

“……!”

I immediately turned back, dropping to my knees on the floor and lowering my posture. The Master, wearing the Count’s guise, rested his chin on his hand and spoke in a teasing tone.

“Who knows, perhaps this might be your final end as well.”

“If that is what you wish, I shall act accordingly from now on.”

“How boring. Fine, fine. Do as you please.”

The Master waved his hand dismissively, seemingly having lost interest, and continued.

“This vessel doesn’t have much time left anyway. Whatever. I should be able to transfer about twenty percent of my power by the end of this month. That should be enough to fully operate this one body.”

“Are you planning to remain active in that body?”

“Why not? A Count holds a fairly high status, so I imagine I can live quite comfortably among the humans.”

“I only asked to confirm.”

“Hmm……? Ah. Ah! I see. Hahaha!”

The Master, who had been peering at me with half-lidded eyes, suddenly slapped his leg and erupted into uproarious laughter.

I wasn’t particularly surprised. It had been a long time since I decided to give up on understanding what the Master found funny.

Figuring it out would only make me just as unhinged, so I didn’t even want to comprehend it, yet the Master insisted on revealing the reason for his amusement.

“I get it! You’re worried that I might covet something like a human with this body? Don’t be absurd! Do you commit bestiality just because a pet is pretty?”

All I did was ask one question, and suddenly I was being framed with such a possible fetish. In reality, my mind had simply gone blank at the dreadful thought of having to attend high-society couples’ gatherings with that thing in the future.

The stubbornness of a god who wasn’t even omnipotent enough to read a single human’s mind was truly garbage.

Ahahaha! Even the way he laughed until he was breathless was incredibly vulgar.

No matter if it came from another world, to think a piece of trash like that is a god. Its home dimension must be in its final days, I grumbled internally.

F.

The neighborhood where I lived as a child was like a massive dumping ground, a place where the human trash rejected by the world was gathered and tossed away. Among them, I was a little brat classified as a vagrant, and whenever I had a moment, my sole occupation was rummaging through garbage piles for something to eat.

I was just born, and when I looked around, I was already abandoned. To survive, I had to eat trash. Living completely reliant on pure instinct like that, it suddenly hit me—Wait, what am I? And after giving it some thought, I reached a conclusion: Ah, I’m a beggar, aren’t I? I suppose that was the very first moment of self-reflection in my life.

Anyway, because of that, I don’t know my own age.

From the very beginning, I was just a little kid rolling around the back alleys as a beggar, having learned absolutely nothing. So how could I possibly know how to count dates or numbers? Even if I had known, I would have quickly forgotten because I was too busy trying to survive.

I didn’t know what hope was, nor did I understand the meaning of promising a future. The world as I perceived it was closer to the perspective of a beast than a human—purely instinctual and fiercely brutal.

After suffering a few harsh beatings when my body was weak, I hid myself desperately. Eventually, almost no one could detect my presence anymore, and using that to my advantage, I became capable of attacking, and even killing, someone.

That’s right. I was already a rotten little bastard who had killed a person during my childhood.

The only reason someone like me left the zone I was staying in and ventured out to the commercial district was simple curiosity. Looking back on it now, both places were equally pathetic, but to my eyes back then, the commercial district looked incredibly prosperous.

Well, since it was a district where money circulated, it actually was quite affluent. It’s just that all of it was dirty money, and even that was hoarded by a select few. As you might have guessed by now, the commercial district of that neighborhood was ultimately a hotbed for all sorts of illegal activities.

Anyway, even after going all the way out there, a dog can’t fix its habits, so I immediately started rummaging through the alleyway trash cans.

And that was when I met a girl.

I had truly never seen such a pretty girl in my entire life. Without even realizing whether it was love at first sight or whatever, she simply shone the brightest in the whole world to me. Wearing unusually clean clothes for a kid in that neighborhood and with her hair neatly combed down, the girl quietly watched me before pointing at the trash I had just pulled out.

“Your stomach will hurt if you eat that.”

“My stomach’s never hurt before, though?”

Embarrassingly enough, I put up a pathetic front back then. I was practically declaring, I eat this stuff all the time! Living like a beggar and blatantly showing it, yet I was entirely oblivious to it at the time, acting completely majestic and proud.

She frowned slightly. Only then did I flinch a little.

The girl told me to wait a moment. She went off somewhere and returned holding a basket in her hands.

And that day, for the first time in my life, I ate proper food.

After that, I met up with the girl occasionally. To be exact, I would loiter around the area where we first met, and if I was lucky enough to spot her, I’d run over and pretend I just happened to run into her.

Without showing any signs of annoyance, she brought me food and sometimes even taught me simple letters. The first word I learned from her was milk. Up until then, I honestly thought I could keep spending time with that girl forever.

I still remember it now. A day when heavy rain poured down. The weather was too awful to move around, so I stayed holed up in my shelter all day. And when the rain finally stopped, a certain rumor began circulating through the neighborhood.

“They say she hung herself.”

“I heard her daughter found her.”

10

The head of a rather powerful syndicate in the commercial district. The rumor was that his wife had hung herself, and her daughter was the one who found her. Even after hearing that, I thought nothing of it. I just brushed it off with an Is that so?

Even when the girl suddenly stopped showing up after that rumor spread, I simply assumed we were just missing each other out of bad luck.

It was about fifteen days later when I saw her again. Spotting the girl standing perfectly still in the middle of the street wearing black clothes, I didn’t notice a damn thing and just bounced around, overly excited to see her.

“I haven’t seen you around! Where’ve you been? I came here every single day! Wow! You look super pretty today, though! Like a real noble lady!”

A stupid little brat who had never even seen a noble in his life, spouting nonsense like that just to desperately grab her attention. If my current self could travel back to that moment, I would have smashed all my teeth in just to shut that trap of mine.