CH:22
The cloth in her hand slipped through her fingers. Amelia, exhausted, could not even scream—she could only gasp for breath. The unfamiliar ceiling above her belonged to a hidden chamber in the castle where she had secretly taken refuge before giving birth.
“If you lose consciousness now, you’ll kill everyone!”
The midwife, called in last minute from a nearby village just before the birth, slapped Amelia’s cheek and shouted.
“Stay with me!”
She had been briefly shocked by Amelia’s appearance, dimly visible in the room lit by a single candle, but there was no time to dwell on that. She couldn’t afford to stand idly by while a girl barely her daughter’s age was limp and fading.
“If you don’t want to kill the baby too, you need to push!”
Just as her eyes were fluttering shut, the warning snapped her awake.
This was the child she had carried—how could she give up now? Whose child this was.
According to Aaron, Ivan was dead. The mercenary who had transported him was found dead near a river—maybe killed by bandits. The wagon had been smashed and overturned in the water. The man presumably in it had likely been swept away by the current. Not even a single piece of his body was recovered, and after two months of searching, they had given up.
With that thought, a surge of determination welled up in her. She had to bring this child into the world, no matter what it took. She couldn’t let Ivan meet his newborn child in the afterlife. Not if the land he now resided in was called death.
“Ugh, hhh…!”
With great effort, she grasped the cloth again and pushed with all her might. The pain was so blindingly intense that she couldn’t even scream.
“You’re doing great! I can see the baby’s head!”
Just a bit more. Just a little more. The midwife encouraged her. Her clenched jaw ached, and her fingers, gripping the cloth hanging from the ceiling, throbbed as if they would tear it apart. But none of that compared to the searing agony that split her body in two.
“Oh, thank heavens! It’s out!”
At last, she felt something slip from her, and with it came a rush of relief. The midwife, experienced and quick, dipped the baby in warm water to rinse off the blood, then gave its bottom a light smack. A soft slapping sound, and then—the baby cried out.
“You did well.”
That was the baby’s first cry in this world. Amelia, still lying in exhaustion, weakly reached her hand into the air. The midwife understood the gesture and brought the swaddled baby to her.
“All ten fingers and toes. Perfect little face, no deformities.”
With a proud smile like a grandmother seeing her first grandchild, the midwife placed the baby in Amelia’s arms.
“You must be so proud. A fine son like this after such a hard labor.”
Then, without hesitation, the midwife pulled aside Amelia’s clothes and exposed her chest, guiding the baby close. Instinctively, the infant latched on and began to suckle. But as Amelia looked down at the baby’s face with tenderness, her body stiffened.
“…A son?”
She asked, and the midwife nodded. A healthy baby boy.
“Seems like the father’s no good, seeing as he didn’t even bother showing up, but at least the baby turned out well enough.”
While the nonexistent father was being scolded, Amelia’s mind began to spin. The midwife straightened her sore knees to begin the cleanup—there were no servants in sight. It seemed they had intentionally limited the number of people involved. Understandable, if the mother was a shrine maiden.
“Please keep this a secret!”
Amelia’s voice was too weak to carry outside, but the midwife could sense the quiet desperation in her tone.
“I want to surprise him. So please, I’m begging you…”
She was experienced—this wasn’t her first delivery. Usually, the mother despaired because the child was a girl. Amelia’s reaction was unusual, but clearly, she had her reasons. After all, it wasn’t normal for a shrine maiden to be having a child in the first place.
“Alright. I’ll keep the secret. Just stay lying down—you’re still weak.”
It was a birth, after all. The truth would come out eventually, but the midwife had no desire to cause further distress to a woman who had just gone through labor. She patted Amelia’s hand gently to reassure her. Only then did the tension in Amelia’s shoulders begin to ease.
“Th-thank you.”
Amelia whispered. The midwife smiled.
“You did well.”
Then she busied herself with cleaning up the bloodied linens. Meanwhile, Amelia carefully stroked her baby’s forehead as he began to doze off after feeding.
“……”
No matter the gender, the child of Amelia Escleef was destined for a life of pain. But knowing the baby was a boy filled her with unbearable dread. If anyone found out, she feared for the child’s safety.
Whether she gave birth to a daughter or a son, Amelia Escleef was bound to lead them toward death. Her very existence felt like a sin.
But even so—
“…Nice to meet you.”
A clear tear fell onto the baby’s face. Not from fear or guilt, but because she was glad. Glad to see Ivan’s shadow in the baby’s face.
“Have you found him?”
Ivan asked. Rodan shook his head in frustration. Predictably, Ivan’s face grew cold.
“It’s been nearly a year.”
“……”
“And you still haven’t found him?”
It had been nearly a year since Ivan began the search for the black-haired man he had hidden away. At first, he thought it would be easy—just a man on the run, empty-handed. But the man had proven surprisingly elusive.
They had searched every corner near the temple, but not a single trace had been found. Not even a strand of black hair.
“My apologies.”
He could have flown to the heavens or sunk into the earth. They couldn’t issue a public warrant either—the man hadn’t committed any crimes. Rodan could only apologize.
“Find him. He’s one of the seeds planted by those who impersonated God’s agent.”
Rodan suddenly remembered something Ivan had once said: there were two seeds.
“Your Majesty.”
If there were two seeds, then they had another option.
“You mentioned there were two seeds, if I recall correctly.”
Two seeds. Ivan slowly rolled his eyes, searching his memory.
“I did.”
Eventually, he nodded, as if he had just remembered.
“Considering everything, perhaps one of the seeds never even sprouted—it might’ve died in the soil.”
“……”
“So we should keep tracking that one, but how about using the other?”
Rodan proposed. Ivan said nothing for a moment, but the absence of irritation suggested he didn’t reject the idea.
“The timing is just right.”
Ivan replied after some quick mental calculations. His expression brightened slightly.
“May I ask what that seed is?”
Rodan asked boldly. Ivan was usually open to such questions, even if the answers were shocking.
“Amelia Escleef’s child.”
Rodan could hardly believe what he heard.
“You’re saying the shrine maiden is pregnant?”
“If it’s mine, the child should already be born.”
Ivan rubbed his jaw, looking indifferent.
“…You’re saying that shrine maiden is carrying your child?”
“She’s not a divine agent—just a human. It’s possible.”
Rodan’s jaw nearly hit the floor.
“It’s hard enough to believe she’s pregnant, but now you’re telling me it might be your child?”
It was shocking enough taken separately—but both facts combined were nearly absurd.
“We spent the night together.”
“But in the note you sent me that day, all it said was to stand guard near the door at dawn two days later!”
Rodan managed not to shout, but his tone was clearly laced with frustration.
“There was no time for long explanations.”
Ivan always did this—acting first, then telling Rodan after the fact. Rodan had cleaned up after him before, but this time felt different.
“Sigh…”
Rodan ran a hand down his face. He felt like he had aged several years thanks to Ivan in the past year alone.
“But if she’s pregnant…”
Rodan couldn’t finish the thought. He gave up trying to make sense of it.
“What are you planning to do? Surely you don’t intend to abduct the child from inside their walls.”
Since Ivan had already caused this mess, Rodan had no choice but to ask his plan.
“Or do you mean to declare the child as your heir…?”
Rodan cautiously asked.
“Of course not.”
Ivan scoffed, lifting a glass filled with amber liquid that glittered under the light.
“Even if it’s mine, it’s still a bastard. Nothing to proudly announce to the Empire.”
“Then…”
“If Amelia Escleef gave birth to a daughter, she’ll suffer the same fate. If it’s a son, he won’t live long.”
Rodan’s eyes widened. Despite the vague wording, he grasped the implication.
“But that’s why it’s fine for her.”
“I hope she did have a child.”
“So I can stay in her memory.”
Amelia Escleef loves me.
Ivan was sure of it. Since their love ended in tragedy, he believed Amelia must now hold an even deeper affection for him.
“She’ll want to protect that child.”
If a child had been born between them, Amelia would do anything to protect it. Even if it wasn’t his, she wouldn’t abandon any child.
Even if—
“That desire… is what we’ll use, Rodan.”
Even if it becomes a seed of delicious despair.
