Chapter 44
Having resolved not to be swayed by Kayente’s words or actions anymore, Yulia deliberately woke up early and went for a walk by the nearby lake. There was nothing like a quiet stroll to clear the head and gather one’s thoughts.
“Young Lady! You shouldn’t go out alone. It’s dangerous!”
“It’s fine, Lucy. There were actually quite a few people out for a morning walk.”
Though Lucy had been worried when Yulia disappeared without a word, it was true that the walk had lifted her spirits. But the peace she had so carefully restored was soon shattered again.
“I heard you fainted. Were there any prior symptoms? Dizziness or anything like that?”
“Not particularly…”
“Or perhaps something caused you a great shock recently…”
It was the Clu family’s physician who had come to visit. Yulia couldn’t understand what Kayente was thinking, sending the family doctor after everything he had said. It felt absurd—being emotionally dragged through the mud only to be offered medical attention afterward. Sitting in the parlor with her hand, which already looked healed, she felt like a goose being fattened before the slaughter.
“Yes. There was something. Something very shocking.”
“Lord Kayente actually asked me to look into your mental well-being. I brought a calming remedy. It’s nothing serious—just a blend of chamomile and fennel flowers, so you don’t need to worry about side effects.”
“Give it to me. I’ll take care of it.”
She answered without hiding her anger, and the doctor, seemingly expecting this, laid out a few small glass bottles. Lucy stepped in to gather the medicines, but Yulia had no interest in them. It was like being slapped and then handed a bouquet.
“How often should she take this?”
“There’s no fixed dosage. Just give it to her when she seems anxious. Also, this one was specifically requested to be kept separately.”
“What’s that? I’ll take that one too.”
“It’s a tonic good for those planning to conceive. Lord Kayente asked if there were any helpful remedies, so I brought one. It’s good for warming the body and should be quite effective.”
Yulia couldn’t help but laugh hollowly when the doctor pulled out a medicine supposedly helpful for conception.
Ah… So this was what really mattered. No matter what, he still intended to have a child through her.
She was baffled that even now, Kayente was calculating her usefulness. Surely not everyone becomes this ruthless just because they’ve had a hard life?
“Should this be taken anytime too?”
“Take it after dinner. Not too late, though—ideally three hours before bed. Taking it too late might cause side effects.”
“Side effects? What kind?”
“Nothing dangerous. Even if there are any, they’re minor.”
Lucy asked about the side effects out of curiosity, but Yulia didn’t care. Regardless of how harmful they might be, Kayente wouldn’t have cared, and she would’ve had no choice but to take it.
“After the wedding, I’ll be visiting the mansion once a week. I look forward to seeing you often, Miss.”
With the wedding day drawing closer, the physician’s tone had become noticeably more polite. Though the thought of Kayente deliberately trying to have a child made her vision blur for a moment, Yulia took a deep breath and regained her composure.
She had already accepted that, no matter whom she married, a loveless bed would be part of the deal.
“Yulia! Are you feeling okay? I heard the doctor was here.”
“Baroness, you’re back? Where were you this morning?”
Shortly after the doctor left, the baroness burst into the parlor, visibly excited. It turned out Yulia wasn’t the only one who had disappeared that morning, and Lucy asked about her mother’s whereabouts.
“That’s not important. I found out something huge!”
“Something huge?”
Lucy looked curious, but Yulia merely reached for her teacup, uninterested. It was probably just another piece of gossip that would only bring someone misfortune.
“You remember that rumor? That Lord Bain was murdered?”
“There was such a rumor?”
“Lucy, you didn’t hear it? Well, there was. And it turns out it wasn’t just a rumor.”
“If it wasn’t a rumor, then…”
“It’s true. Lord Bain was definitely murdered.”
“Where did you hear this?”
Yulia had no intention of caring, but the baroness’s tone was so certain that she had to ask.
“From a journalist.”
“A journalist?”
“A very famous one from the Duchy of Esacudia. He was so charming and talkative—I spent an entire hour chatting with him. He said they almost identified the killer. They couldn’t find definitive proof in the end, but still.”
“A journalist… Could it be the man we met before, Miss?”
The moment she heard “journalist from the duchy,” one person came to mind. Kayente had firmly told her not to even speak to that man—and now, her mother had not only spoken to him but had a long conversation. Yulia could only sigh.
“What did you go and tell him this time?”
“Tell him? He was curious about you, our family, and Kayente, so I just answered his questions.”
“Mother!”
“Why are you shouting? It’s not a big deal. He asked how the two of you ended up getting married, and I didn’t say anything about money. I just told him our families were close, and I had jokingly arranged a marriage with the previous Countess Clu. That’s all.”
The baroness clearly didn’t realize how even that could be a problem. Yulia’s head throbbed. Given that Kayente seemed to want nothing more than her misery, it wasn’t about doing things well or poorly—but at the very least, she had hoped not to give him ammunition.
“Haah…”
“Miss, should I bring you one of the calming tonics the doctor left?”
Yulia pressed her forehead with a hand, still lightheaded from yesterday’s ordeal. Lucy quickly offered her the calming remedy, and as she drank it in an effort to soothe her churning emotions, the baroness casually added one more thing that caught Yulia’s attention.
“The journalist said… it seems Kayente knows who killed his father.”
✧ ✧ ✧
After lunch, Yulia spent a long time practicing the cello. After all, once she married, Kayente would likely never let her play again. She wanted to enjoy it while she still could. Even if playing now wouldn’t erase her regrets later.
Rumble, crash.
“Ah! That scared me!”
Dark clouds had been creeping in all afternoon, and soon, lightning lit up the sky, followed by a loud clap of thunder as rain poured down. Lucy, who had been packing Yulia’s belongings for the move, shrieked quietly with a book in her hands.
Yulia stopped her bow mid-stroke and turned to look out the rain-covered window.
—That journalist said Kayente might know who killed his father.
She had naturally assumed the baroness had been fed nonsense. If the former Count Clu had truly been murdered, the duchy authorities would’ve investigated. And if Kayente really knew who the killer was, surely they’d have been punished.
But another possibility crept into her mind. And once there, it wouldn’t leave.
What if Kayente did know who it was—but had no solid evidence to hand them over?
Yulia didn’t know much about the law or crime, but she’d heard of cases like that. Where everyone knows someone is guilty, but there’s no proof.
What if, because he couldn’t bring that person to justice, he’d grown twisted?
Another flash of lightning lit up the sky, and a moment later, thunder cracked through the air. Yulia sighed softly.
“Eek! That thunder is insane! It feels like the sky’s splitting open, Miss.”
“Why am I like this, Lucy?”
“Pardon? What do you mean?”
I don’t want to think about him anymore… I told myself I’d only think of Kayente as the man I’d bear a child with and nothing more…
But why does it bother me so much?
If Kayente had been suffering, already burdened by his father’s death, then whether the rumor was true or not, just hearing that kind of talk must have hurt him more.
Maybe that’s why he loathed that journalist—because such gossip was their job, and he couldn’t bear it.
Despite everything Kayente had said to her, she couldn’t help feeling a flicker of pity.
“Do you think he’s still afraid of thunder?”
“Who?”
The loud thunder today made it all the worse.
—Kai, are you scared of thunder?
—…Yeah.
Even as a child, Kayente had been mature and rarely showed his emotions. But not when it rained. Just seeing the clouds roll in made him frown. Thunder didn’t always follow the rain, but when it did, Kayente would cover his ears and tremble, tears forming in his eyes.
She had later learned that his father had often locked him in a dark closet—and thunder in the pitch black was terrifying.
—I’m not scared. Want me to hold you?
—Yeah.
When it was just the two of them, Yulia used to hug him tight—though he was twice her size. Her small arms couldn’t hold him properly, which frustrated her. But somehow, even in her tiny embrace, Kayente found comfort.
She had always been the one relying on him, so being able to help him in some way made her incredibly happy. Sometimes, hearing his breathing settle while in her arms made her so happy she couldn’t help but smile.
And when she smiled, he smiled too. No matter how loud the thunder outside, he would return to his usual self.
She could still hold him now, if he wanted…
But that was in the past. He must have grown out of it by now. Of course he had.
Yulia told herself to stop worrying about Kayente like this. He wouldn’t appreciate her concern. He wasn’t the same person who once calmed in her arms.
✧ ✧ ✧
“It’s really coming down. Should we cancel the rest of today’s schedule?”
“Yes.”
In the dimly lit office, the lamps had been turned on earlier than usual. Kayente sat far from the window, going over documents. Contrary to Yulia’s guess that he had overcome his fear, Kayente still flinched with every thunderclap. He had just gotten better at hiding it.
“Count, today’s mail has arrived.”
“Leave it there.”
The employee, unaware of anything, set the stack of letters on the table and left. Normally, Henry would have sorted them first, but he was too busy keeping an eye on Kayente’s condition today. As a result, the letters reached Kayente first.
He paused on one envelope.
Sender: Maria Clu
It was from his mother.
