Chapter 68….
“Besides… something’s strange.”
The system didn’t like me. It would be more accurate to say it treated me as an enemy. But then why was the system trying to persuade me? It had that much power—able to reconstruct the world and easily erase people’s memories.
Why would the system—
“Why can’t you kill me?”
At first, I thought it was because I was still useful. But what if that wasn’t it?
What if it couldn’t kill me from the beginning?
If that were the case, then it had no choice but to keep me alive.
“You can’t kill me, so you’re trying to turn me into a component, aren’t you?”
Trim away the parts that get in the way and slot me in as part of the world. That must be the system’s true intention.
That is not something you need to know.
“So you just don’t want to tell me.”
It probably didn’t want its weakness exposed. I thought this was just simple possession…
Did my possession become a major obstacle for the system? And one it couldn’t even remove?
Now I understood why the system hadn’t left an extra like me alone. If it couldn’t kill me, then the only option was to interfere.
Do you intend to continue living like this?
“At the very least, I won’t live the way you want.”
Who did it think made me like this? Even now, I wanted to erase it. But it seemed the system didn’t like this version of me.
I understand your position. Then this conversation ends here.
Did it really think I would just go along obediently? That I’d give up everything and ask how to go insane?
If so, the system was dumber than I thought. Or maybe it believed there was no human who would reject it.
Either way, this is annoying.
Still, the fact that the system couldn’t kill me was an unexpected gain. When I died, it wasn’t the system bringing me back. For some reason, I simply didn’t die.
Not much had changed, but I liked knowing that my life and death weren’t in the system’s hands.
“Now, will you send me back?”
That is not within the system’s authority. You can only awaken through a strong shock.
Its curt tone was clearly dissatisfied. Not that I cared.
A strong shock… Is this space like a lucid dream? Is it telling me to die here?
The best method at present is to go to the end.
At those words, an actual edge appeared. The green field slowly shrank. Except for the area near the tree, the field disappeared, replaced by the clouds that had been above.
The sky I had to look up to see now lay beneath my feet. It felt like a floating island in the heavens.
Except the clear blue had turned into a pitch-black darkness whose depth couldn’t be measured. It was a chillingly deep void.
“You’re telling me to jump from here?”
It is currently the fastest method.
So it really was telling me to die. It wasn’t suggesting this on purpose just because it didn’t like my answer… right?
“You’re more petty than I expected.”
Well, whatever.
I straightened from where I had been leaning forward.
“Stay arrogant like that.”
Even though it couldn’t kill me, the system never lost its composure. It didn’t even seem tense while aware it was being damaged. Had it lived as a god for so long that it couldn’t even feel itself falling?
That would be what ultimately held it back. I had a strong premonition of it.
I decided to throw myself off immediately. If I hesitated, pointless fear would only grow.
Before the darkness, I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and slowly stepped into the air.
This feels awful.
My body, unable to find balance, quickly plummeted downward. It felt like my blood was rushing upside down. My pounding heartbeat rang vividly in my ears.
A fierce wind swept over my whole body, and my senses gradually dulled. It was a sensation I hadn’t felt in a long time.
The darkness didn’t seem like it would end. My breathing grew ragged. My vision blurred, and my mind grew hazy.
I think I lost consciousness like that.
“Lila!”
A very familiar voice jolted my awareness awake.
My eyes flew open, and the breath I’d been holding burst out. Oxygen rushed into my lungs all at once.
“Cough!”
Only then did my breathing return to normal. I coughed repeatedly, feeling as if my lungs were being squeezed.
My blurry vision slowly cleared, revealing my surroundings. The massive tree was gone.
On the table in front of me, the liquor bottle lay where it had been. The fruit was untouched. Everything was the same as before I was pulled away.
So I did come back.
As I assessed the situation and pushed my unsteady body upright, someone carefully supported me.
Why is Helion here?
I steadied my breathing and stared at him. Perhaps because my condition looked poor, Helion’s face had gone pale.
“You know you weren’t breathing? What kind of dream did you have—more importantly, are you okay?”
Helion’s voice fully pulled me back to reality. I stopped coughing and nodded calmly.
“I’m fine.”
“I’ll move you to the bed first.”
“I said I’m fine.”
“Lila, you never believe me when I say I’m fine. I’m the same.”
Then why ask?
After gauging the distance to the bed, Helion suddenly lifted me into his arms. It happened so quickly I had no chance to refuse.
“You’re not uncomfortable, right?”
“…Well, no.”
This situation is what’s uncomfortable.
Helion’s arms steadily supported my back and legs. Through his shirt, I could clearly feel his solid build.
He used to be small enough to fit in a laundry basket. The fact that he was now an adult felt newly real.
Isn’t he even strained? Even while holding a grown woman, his expression remained calm.
“Looks like Lila needs to eat more bread now.”
Helion’s eyes curved as he looked at me.
“…I eat plenty.”
Compared to him back then, I was perfectly normal.
“Then that’s a relief.”
When he reached the bed, Helion carefully laid me down and even pulled the blanket over me, making me look like a patient.
Even when I say I’m fine, he doesn’t listen.
Helion thoroughly checked my body for any injuries. He even brought a pillow so I could rest comfortably.
“How did you get in here?”
“I asked the maid outside for a favor.”
“…It didn’t end well last time.”
He said he resented me—so why come back? And despite his words, his actions were overly gentle. The kindness clashed sharply with the resentment in his eyes.
“…Well.”
Helion’s hand, which had been neatly adjusting the blanket, paused.
“At first I was angry… but after thinking about it later, I understood. It was all for my sake.”
Did he figure out my intentions already? I thought this time he wouldn’t let it go so easily. Seems I underestimated Helion.
The bright yellow eyes looking at me were simply clear. They held firm conviction without a trace of doubt.
“You said those harsh things because you were worried I’d get into trouble. So how could I just stay still?”
As gently as his voice, his hand brushed my fingertips and slowly slipped between them. Warm body heat seeped through the glove.
“I came to apologize.”
“You don’t need to.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that…”
Helion’s voice sank gloomily. His grip on my captured hand slowly tightened. His drooping eyes looked like a puppy, but his touch was as sly as a serpent.
His innocent eyes blinked pitifully. With his pure white hair, moisture-laced gaze, and gentle aura, he resembled a noble saint.
“Won’t you forgive this foolish me?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking for forgiveness?”
“You spoke harshly for my sake, but I spoke resentfully to you, Lila.”
“…”
“I’m the one who should apologize.”
He gently pulled my hand and pressed it to his cheek. His white eyelashes fluttered with the motion.
He didn’t used to be this cunning.
His gaze seemed to urge me—won’t you give in even now?
Without a word, I stroked Helion’s head. His smooth hair slipped through my fingers.
“Our relationship needs to change.”
Forceful methods wouldn’t work. I softened my tone, as if speaking to the child he once was.
“Those days are no longer the present—they’re the past.”
“…But Lila is in the present.”
“Our memories are in the past. So much has changed—wouldn’t it be strange if only this relationship stayed the same?”
Helion pressed his lips together without answering. His drooping brows and trembling mouth looked pitiful. He clutched my arm more tightly, as if clinging to it.
“It’s fine even if it’s strange. As long as I have you, Miss Maid… everything is fine…”
“That’s not the same castle anymore. I’m not a maid now—I’m the baron’s daughter everyone despises.”
It was false for us, but true to the world.
I lifted Helion’s chin and continued.
“Being together now has become something strange.”
“I don’t care.”
“I do. I keep worrying you might suffer because of me.”
“I came this far because of you, Lila.”
“During the ten years when I wasn’t here.”
I couldn’t erase those ten years.
He had climbed up from the very bottom. Even if I couldn’t protect it, I shouldn’t be the one to destroy it.
It’s not like I can just kill everyone either.
If I started eliminating people who got in the way, it would never end. Unlike the ducal house, there were far too many now. Since I apparently don’t die, I could try a few times…
But that can’t be the solution.
Perhaps realizing he couldn’t persuade me, Helion’s attitude changed. His eyes cooled sharply. His gaze slowly swept around, like someone searching for a culprit.
“Is it because of the knife?”
If I agreed, he looked ready to kill.
His fierce eyes clearly said that if the problem were removed, everything would be solved.
Unfortunately, even if someone were killed, nothing would change.
If it would have helped… I would have done it myself.
