Chapter 106
Am I going crazy?
He seriously doubted his own mental state. Given the circumstances, it was understandable.
Memories of one person—someone he had completely forgotten since last year—came flooding back all at once overnight, leaving him dizzy. And the fact that only he remembered that person drove him to the brink of madness.
No—perhaps he was already mad. Perhaps everything rummaging through his mind right now, tightening painfully around his heart, was not memory at all.
If they were nothing more than delusions, hallucinations born of madness, symptoms of some unexplainable pathological condition. If the existence of Noxia Dekan, as he remembered her, amounted to nothing more than that……
…No.
Ah, but how could that be possible?
That can’t be.
When he missed her this much, when the sense of loss crushed his throat until he felt he might suffocate and die, how could all of this be nothing but a mistake?
No matter how much Elenen enjoyed reading novels, his imagination could not possibly be this rich. Every memory he recalled was vividly clear and concrete. They could not be dismissed as mere hallucinations.
Then why was he the only one who remembered Noxia?
He could not understand why Jeremy—who had clearly met Noxia last year—had forgotten her, why he looked confused even when her name was spoken outright.
I forgot Noxia too, didn’t I? Until last night, I’d forgotten her very existence. Why—why on earth……?
At that moment, another person came to mind.
[You really don’t remember anything.]
[It seems the effect of the forgetting is wearing off. Either that child didn’t handle it properly, or there was a limit to begin with…….]
[You might be special. The others don’t even feel any sense of wrongness.]
Karnen Holby. Noxia’s closest friend.
Even during the time when Elenen had completely forgotten Noxia, she had subtly tested him, as though she remembered everything.
[If one day you ever feel like having a serious conversation with me, come find me anytime. I’ll be waiting for you, Your Highness.]
Lady Holby, the Marquess’s daughter.
Elenen slowly lowered the hand that had been covering his face. His eyes, now somewhat calmer, shone with desperate resolve.
I have to meet her.
A strange calm filled his chest. The confusion had not completely faded, nor was he any less desperate than before. But now, at least, he had a clear goal.
Until now, he had lived without knowing whom he missed or why, suffering endlessly from a sense of loss, tormented every night in his dreams, forgetting it all by the next day—only to suffer again.
Now, at the very least, he knew the cause of his longing and who its object was. If he knew the cause, he could search for a solution. At the very least, he could set a marker and choose a direction.
There was someone he needed to meet as soon as he returned from Tyros. Elenen desperately hoped that the riddle-like conversation he had shared with Karnen Holby a few months ago had not been a delusion of his own mind.
“Your Highness, the water for washing up is ready.”
“Thank you, Jeremy.”
The attendant returned from the bathroom, once again carefully examining the prince’s complexion with a worried gaze.
Fortunately, the prince looked more composed than before. The unstable attitude he had shown earlier—eyes wide like a madman, firing off incomprehensible questions—was gone.
With the attendant’s help, the prince washed his face and changed his clothes. Then, maintaining his usual neat appearance and royal dignity, he left the room.
It was the start of a day no different from any other. And yet, one person’s heart was far louder than usual.
At breakfast, Kairon nearly doubted his own eyes when he faced his younger brother. He stopped short of giving a routine morning greeting and asked with concern,
“Elenen, are you alright? Are you feeling sick anywhere?”
Elenen was flustered by his brother’s question. Do I really look that ill right now? He had tried to tidy his expression as best he could while changing clothes and fixing his hair.
But no matter how ingrained an elegant smile was for a royal, when one’s inner world had been completely overturned and one was barely holding on to sanity, it was impossible not to give off a sense of unease.
“I’m fine, brother. I think I just didn’t sleep very well last night.”
Elenen answered awkwardly, forcing the most natural smile he could. But Kairon’s eyes were still full of concern. After glancing around, he lowered his voice and whispered,
“Are you worried because of the horse race? If so, how about taking today off? I’ll explain things to the people of Tyros.”
“No, brother. I’m really fine. I’ll attend the horse race without any problem, so please don’t worry.”
Elenen was quite touched. At the same time, he felt a little disheartened by the fact that his complexion looked bad enough for his usually strict brother to offer to help him skip the event.
Kairon did not seem entirely convinced. Hoping to change the subject, Elenen looked straight at him and finally voiced the question that had been boiling on the tip of his tongue.
“By the way, brother.”
“Yes?”
“Do you happen to remember Noxia Dekan?”
“Huh? Who?”
Kairon looked puzzled. Elenen stared at his brother for a moment, then replied warmly with a neat smile.
“She’s not an important person.”
With a pale face, Elenen lied. To hide his trembling hand, he clenched his fist tightly beneath the table.
The rest of the morning passed smoothly. Soon it was afternoon after lunch, and the distinguished guests attending the horse race changed into their riding clothes and headed to the outdoor racetrack owned by the Tyros royal family.
Elenen, also dressed in riding attire, mounted his horse and took hold of the reins. He did not particularly enjoy horseback riding, but he could at least ride steadily.
Elenen slowly crossed the racetrack on horseback. Beneath a sky as blue as spilled paint were the bitter scent of grass, the cool breeze, and the cheerful laughter of people riding horses.
It was a scene like a painting. A place that seemed as though no trouble would ever occur, no misfortune would ever arrive—like a paradise on earth one could reach without dying.
That very day, in such a place, an explosion occurred.
It was only later, after investigation, that it was revealed a secret armed group opposing the Tyros royal family had buried explosives underground in advance.
The pain was horrific. It hurt too much. For a prince who had been raised so delicately that he had never even been pricked by a needle in his life, it was far more agony than he could bear.
Elenen quickly lost consciousness.
Somewhere, he could smell disinfectant. His mind was hazy. Lying on a bed, Elenen blankly stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling. He could not tell where he was, or whether he was alive or dead.
He quietly closed his eyes. It was far easier than forcing himself to cling to consciousness.
At the fragile boundary between life and death, Elenen thought of only one person.
He felt deeply sorry to his family, but in a moment when his life was in danger, the person he truly longed for was someone not related to him by blood.
Though they shared no blood, she had been as close as family to him—the only true friend he had ever made in his life, his first love that had come like a miracle, and the one who still lived in his heart.
He could not believe that he had lived while forgetting her all this time. The unexplainable forgetting tormented him.
I should never have forgotten you. No matter what, I should have remembered. I should have protected you and cherished you for my entire life. Until the day I die, I……
Noxia!
Calling out the beloved name with desperate longing, he suddenly grabbed the hand in front of him.
A solid warmth was transmitted—too vivid to be a dream, and all the more thirst-inducing because of it.
Elenen snapped his eyes open. Wrapped in stiff bandages around his limbs, he lay sweating in the darkness. The faintly visible window and ceiling, even the pure white blanket covering his body, were all unfamiliar.
And before him—
Noxia was there. Her hand caught in his, her vivid green eyes opened wide.
Not a dream, not a phantom. She was real, warm to the touch.
“…Noxia.”
Elenen whispered. Tears welled up in his eyes, and Noxia’s eyes grew even wider. Even her pupils, trembling in shock, were exactly as he remembered.
After long years of forgetting and separation, they finally reunited.
Chapter 17. Where the Heart Points
The terror attack that occurred in Tyros sent shockwaves through the international community. It had been thought to be the only country whose people held no dissatisfaction with a hereditary monarchy—yet it turned out that such forces had been hiding beneath the surface.
Some people trembled with fear and rage over the incident, while others secretly took pleasure in the idea that the ever-arrogant Tyros royal family had fallen victim to its own schemes.
Regardless of people’s reactions, it was undeniably a grave incident. Not only members of the royal family and nobility, but also foreign dignitaries had been caught up in it.
The news was delivered in full through the front page of a daily newspaper, reaching even a small seaside village in the southern part of the Kingdom of Hermeon.
For hours after reading that article, Noxia sat blankly on a bench in the backyard, staring into empty space.
The moment she read the line stating that Prince Elenen of Hermeon had been gravely injured, she returned from Hermaine’s gaze to Noxia’s own expression. She remained frozen for a long while, then suddenly stood up and went out to the backyard without thinking.
But there was nowhere else to go. After wandering aimlessly within the narrow fence, she eventually collapsed onto the bench and resumed a statue-like posture, maintaining her silence for several hours now.
From a short distance away, Promeon stood quietly watching her. Her back looked fragile, as though she might disappear if touched—still and rigid, yet giving off a pitiful impression.
Even blinking felt like a waste of time, so he endured without moving his eyelids as much as possible. And whenever he inevitably closed his eyes for just a moment, he grew anxious that she might have vanished in that instant.
Miraculously, she was there in the same spot every time.
Yet it was a bitter miracle, in that all he was ever permitted to see was her back.
