CHAPTER 93…………………………………………..
“Stay in Woodville as long as you want? What do you mean by that?”
“It means, if you want, you can continue staying at the Woodville mansion as Joyce Woodville.”
“With what kind of nerve…? What about the Woodville troupe you established because of me?”
“You just find the right person to take over. You can come and go to Bria whenever needed for your work. You can act, write, and still remain Joyce Woodville.”
“If I remain as a noblewoman, I won’t be able to live comfortably as an actress.”
Luna’s absurd suggestion snapped me out of my dazed state. Every time I expressed concern, she actively countered. Her expression was desperate, as if she truly didn’t want me to leave.
I felt a little hurt that she didn’t seem sad about parting with me, but that didn’t mean I wanted her to cling to me. I couldn’t hide my bewilderment at being told to suddenly change a story that was already finished. Perhaps noticing my thoughts, she took my hand.
“I know how important acting is to you, Joyce. That’s why I didn’t believe my father when he said it seemed like you truly loved the duke. But seeing you genuinely worried about him in the carriage, I realized the connection between you two isn’t just acting.”
So Philip, who’s so sharp-eyed, had seen through my feelings. And Luna noticed too. How obvious must it have been for everyone who saw me to realize I loved Peredil?
So Peredil probably couldn’t even imagine breaking up with me.
“You’re right, Luna. At first, I thought my feelings for the duke were just me immersing myself in acting. I was complacent. I arrogantly watched things unfold according to plan. I treated him only as a character in my story, thinking I wouldn’t fall in love with him. After all, it was all my own story.”
I felt foolish spilling my heart to her. I, who promised to help the heroine in the original story, was now being comforted by her. Yet, I couldn’t stop talking because I liked her gentle reassurance.
“But how could I leave everything behind and stay here? My whole life would change. Suddenly becoming a real noblewoman… There’s etiquette and laws that nobles must follow. It wouldn’t be easy to act while avoiding scrutiny and following those rules.”
“I didn’t mean you have to decide right away. I just wanted to tell you it’s possible. I worried you might choose to return to Bria because of our promise, even if you wanted to stay in the capital.”
I shook my head.
“I’ve never even considered not going back.”
“Then start thinking of it that way. How about seeing it as gaining one more option?”
I couldn’t harshly reject her desperate gaze, so I eventually agreed. She lit up the moment she heard that. Claiming it was the alcohol, I went into the room first. A lie—I wasn’t drunk enough to be so affected.
Well… not entirely a lie. Lying on the bed, the ceiling seemed farther than usual. I let out a deep sigh alone in the room.
Sigh. It would’ve been better if I had no choice at all.
Theo and Luna both told me I didn’t have to leave if I didn’t want to. That I shouldn’t hesitate because of them. Everyone took the lead to lighten my burden.
That was too much pressure.
Earlier, they seemed to decide my path as if I had no say. Now, standing at a crossroads, they told me I could move freely.
Having a choice for the first time, I didn’t know how to pick. My life always gave me extreme situations, and I was swept along. The only reason I could keep walking my path was the compass of acting in my hands. Everything was for my dream. That’s how I survived.
And now, they wanted me to abandon acting at my own will? All because of love?
Yes. Acting. My life has always been nothing but acting.
I felt sorry for Luna, but our conversation only strengthened my resolve. If I had wavered before, now there was no doubt.
I will return to Bria.
Repeating the thought, I fell asleep. A strange dream played out. Me in a white wedding dress, and Theo in uniform, holding my hand.
“Come quickly, Joyce. Everyone is waiting for us.”
I followed him, body moving along with his lead. I turned my head frantically, trying to understand, but couldn’t. A veil blown by the wind blocked my view. When I opened my eyes in the dark, the bright morning sun greeted me again.
“What a silly dream.”
Knocking at the door pulled me from my thoughts. Emily entered.
“The duke sent a letter.”
“Can letters really arrive this early?”
“Perhaps he sent it even earlier at dawn?”
Still groggy from my restless dream, I read the letter he wrote.
“I want to see you as soon as you wake, so I’d like to ask you on another date today. I hope you give me a chance to make up for yesterday’s awful date.”
Being urged to meet him? That’s fine by me. It means more opportunities to execute my plan.
I took pen and paper from Emily and wrote a reply asking her to fetch me to the mansion once her work was finished. She looked at me with fear as I grinned like a devil while writing.
“Miss, you’re excited for the date, aren’t you?”
“Of course, of course.”
“Shall we start with your preparation then?”
“No. Today’s your day off, Emily.”
“What? A day off?”
Determined to avoid Emily, who insisted on dressing me, I played hide-and-seek. With my exceptional stealth skills, Emily eventually surrendered. Thanks to that, I waited in pajamas for Peredil, who came to fetch me.
“What’s this?”
“What do you mean?”
“You told me to come get you. Why are you still in pajamas?”
Stretching as if nothing mattered, I faced him casually.
“Oh, I didn’t realize it was already this late.”
Even if I rushed now, it wouldn’t be enough, but I didn’t get out of bed. I opened my sleepy eyes, hoping to annoy him with my laziness.
“Do you want to do anything today?”
“Anything.”
“What about food?”
“Nothing in particular.”
“If you’re not up for a date, we can rest today.”
“No.”
I reluctantly got up, showing how much of a hassle it was, and quickly threw on whatever clothes I could grab.
After making Peredil fall in love with me, if I had to break up with him, Luna wanted him to be unharmed. That was part of our contract, and I intended to follow it. But I couldn’t think of a way to break up without hurting him at all.
Even if I had to hurt him, he must initiate the breakup. I planned to act cold so he would think I’d lost interest first. I anxiously awaited the day he would finally tire and fall.
“Hahaha.”
Inside the troupe, filled with laughter, I was the only one not laughing. Just being able to watch this light comedy in the capital was enjoyable, and the plot was amusing too.
“Not funny?”
Perhaps worried by my lack of reaction, he whispered in my ear.
It was too funny… I wanted to cry…
“Not really.”
A flicker of disappointment crossed his face, but he quickly hid it. He smiled faintly, blaming himself.
“I must have chosen the wrong play.”
Seeing his slightly sad expression, I struggled to suppress softening. If I laughed now, everything would ruin. Unexpectedly challenged to hold back laughter, I forced myself to think sad thoughts. Eventually, I nodded off, pretending to sleep.
“How’s the meal?”
“Edible.”
“Should I order more?”
“No, I’m full.”
Picking at my food, I left most of it untouched. My abrupt interruptions allowed us to finish in tense silence. He seemed lost in thought too.
After walking in silence for a while, he asked me:
“Shall we call it a day here?”
For the first time, he ended the date early, though he usually wanted to stay close all night. We returned to our respective mansions.
I should’ve done this earlier.
If he asked why my feelings changed, I would act as if nothing had happened. His reaction to my altered demeanor would cool him down, and eventually, he’d be the one to tire first and bring up the breakup.
This was the first operation to unsettle him. Believing it was the solution, I continued several days of cold, distant dates with him. His once affectionate expressions lessened for a long while.
For quite some time.
