Chapter 86…………………………………
If he didn’t tell me it was okay, I would pull away even now. If he said he still wasn’t ready, then no matter how much my heart ached, I would hide it and follow my own resolve.
Even if things became awkward, I could just avoid him. Once morning came, I could act as if nothing had happened.
But the words wouldn’t come easily.
It wasn’t because I didn’t know what to say. I hesitated because it felt like I might end up saying something else entirely.
I had promised myself. I wouldn’t do anything that would hurt him. And if that was true, then taking our love deeper was something I shouldn’t do.
Like someone waiting for his master’s permission, he stayed completely still. He didn’t rush me at all.
But that didn’t mean he didn’t want an answer. It wasn’t as though he didn’t have a desired response. Even though I knew I had to answer, I was terrified I might let a word of affirmation slip out.
I needed to control myself, stop myself from getting closer to him. Even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn’t do it.
As I repeated those thoughts, I realized—
Ah… it was already too late.
I had already given my silent answer. I pulled him close and captured him with my lips. My arms were wrapped around his neck. Like a lock and key perfectly matched, there wasn’t even the smallest gap between us.
The robe’s belt slipped loose without resistance. Cold air touched the suddenly exposed skin, raising goosebumps. But it only took a moment for the warmth of the man pressing over me to make me flush.
We accepted each other’s whole hearts with our whole bodies.
Words I didn’t truly mean didn’t come naturally. Where had the acting ended, and where had it become real? When had I stopped being “me,” and when had I become myself again?
Trying to separate whose emotions were whose felt meaningless now.
Because I was already acting on impulse.
“Joyce… if it weren’t for you, I would never have known for my entire life.”
Even as he panted for breath, he looked straight into my eyes as he spoke, and it made me shy. Every time he called my name, my body twitched subtly, and a strange pleasure washed over me.
“The feeling of missing someone even while looking at them. Becoming anxious even while holding them in your arms. Worrying whether they’ll break if you hold too tightly, or disappear if you let go… Even those moments are all love.”
Unlike me, who couldn’t even respond because I was clinging to his back with both hands, he spoke so easily. Drops of his sweat fell onto me.
“I love you.”
He dared to speak the line I would regret for the rest of my life.
“I love you too.”
***
“Did you sleep well?”
My body ached so much I couldn’t get up easily. It had been a long time since I’d felt this kind of soreness—ever since becoming a noble lady.
Seeing him getting dressed with a refreshed expression made something surge in my chest.
Wait… isn’t he the one who has to give a speech today? How does his face show not even a trace of burden or worry?
More importantly, what about me? Why did I become one with him last night? This would only make it harder to leave.
Even though I had come to hold Feradil in my heart, and even though I acknowledged it, I had no intention of changing the predetermined ending.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t imagine an ending where we were together.
After being disowned from Woodville, could a mere commoner actress live out her days with the Empire’s duke? Right now, within noble society, perhaps Feradil could feel love. But soon, he would be shaken by the difference in circumstances. He’d never even imagined dating a common actress.
If he had made himself fall in love with me, then I believed it was possible to make him stop loving me too. Even though feelings had filled me, I intended to empty them again. I would stay faithful to the ending, as planned.
It felt unbearably cold when I woke up, and only then did I realize I was wearing nothing but a robe. Embarrassed, I pulled the blanket up to cover myself and spoke.
“If you succeed with your speech today, Duke, you’ll truly become a one-of-a-kind figure in the Empire. You’ll be able to shine on even greater diplomatic stages. Support for House Seymour is already high… it will rise even more.”
“Well, I’m not really interested in that. You know that’s not why I said I’d do the speech.”
“Then why?”
I asked, pretending not to know. He noticed and smirked.
Then he stepped closer and kissed my forehead.
“To see the person I love smile.”
Today, his uniform looked especially handsome. Maybe because his face was glowing…
Dressed neatly in the dark-blue uniform, he drew my gaze again and again.
“If you stare that hard, it’s dangerous. Are you trying to turn last night into this morning too?”
“W-Who’s staring?!”
Flustered at being caught, I pulled the blanket over my head. He burst into loud laughter.
He hugged me even through the blanket.
“If I get nervous during the speech later, I’ll think about last night.”
“Don’t think about that!”
The capital plaza. The Empire’s citizens, sunk in despair, gathered to see Feradil’s speech. The rare address from Duke Seymour was enough to draw even those numbed by fear of war into the streets. I stood among the crowd.
“Coventin has always placed the safety of its people first, responding peacefully even to the Kingdom of Casca’s continued provocations. However, despite the Empire’s efforts, we have now faced a situation where force is unavoidable…”
At first, after a deep breath, he calmly explained the necessity of war.
“This Empire has enjoyed stable prosperity like never before. I deeply understand the confusion in the hearts of our citizens after the sudden passing of His Majesty, and now this war…”
The further he went, the more emotion filled his voice. His firm, clipped delivery drew everyone’s focus.
By the end, his voice became even more powerful, his gestures bold. It was clear—he wasn’t simply reading words. He was speaking.
“But this does not mean Coventin is in crisis. Just as rain falls so grass may grow, the Empire now struggles for a new leap forward…”
When the speech ended, the people erupted in cheers and applause. Some cried tears of relief, others embraced. Morale returned to faces that had been worn with exhaustion.
He found me in the crowd and smiled. I smiled back, tears streaming down my face. I wanted to run to him and hold him tightly, telling him he did well.
Thanks to Feradil’s speech, the citizens filled the streets with songs of support for Coventin’s victory. With the respected Duke Seymour’s powerful wartime address, support for the imperial family rose even amid chaos. The noble faction looked flustered at this unexpected unity.
Serves them right.
“How was I?”
When it ended, he ran to me and hugged me.
“You were amazing.”
We shared a kiss that seemed to foretell a sweet future.
Before long, news of victory spread through the Empire.
***
“I stand here today, willingly accepting the destiny I must follow, declaring that until the day I die, I shall reign as the honorable Emperor of Coventin.”
The people gathered again to see Theo upon the palace balcony. The crowd was denser than ever. Children sat on their parents’ shoulders to catch a glimpse of the Emperor’s face.
Theo read the declaration in a booming voice.
“The Empire is me, and I am the Empire. Its survival and mine are one. I will devote my entire body to protecting Coventin as my ancestors did, and solemnly swear to place the people first.”
When the Pope placed the crown upon his head, he rose proudly from one knee.
Standing tall, he smiled and waved to the citizens. Men and women alike were instantly captivated by the newly revealed Emperor’s beauty, shouting cheers toward him.
Then, in an instant, his expression turned solemn. The cheering citizens fell silent, confused.
They focused on his next words.
“The first justice I will carry out as Emperor is the purge of Marquis Bolein.”
