Episode 4
But that night, instead of bowing my head to Karsian, I clenched my fists and shouted,
“This isn’t right!”
Panting, I cast my gaze toward the window where the moon shone brightly. It was already dawn. All through the night, I hadn’t even had a sip of water.
Because…
“Is it even reasonable to starve someone, saying they have to go on a diet?!”
Betty, who bore a grudge against me, had tattled every little thing to my mother. I was so furious that I stomped my feet in frustration.
When I had driven Betty out, I had honestly expected some kind of backlash. But I never imagined it would be such a petty method—starving me from lunchtime onward!
“Yes, Betty was my mother’s pawn. I should have expected her to join hands with my mother to torment me…!”
I had been so focused on the original story I had read in my previous life that I didn’t recall my life before the regression. I had overlooked the fact that the original story started after our family was annihilated, so such trivial matters never appeared.
“Yes. Regardless of the original story, it’s better for now to remember my pre-regression life.”
That way, I could better understand how the mansion was run.
Before the regression, my mother suddenly assigned Betty as my maid. Foolishly, I had been delighted, thinking, *“Mother even gave me her personal maid!”*
“She was sent to be my spy.”
I muttered under my breath, gritting my teeth.
I still didn’t fully understand my mother’s intentions for watching me so closely.
“But one thing has become clear.”
She wanted to torment me, her illegitimate child, in this way. Betty, following my mother’s orders, reported every single detail faithfully.
“Otherwise, Mother wouldn’t have come here immediately like that.”
After Karsian had stormed out, I sat with Susan, eating cookies and milk. We were thinking together about how to calm Karsian’s anger. But then, my mother suddenly appeared, and
*“You’ve gained weight. At this rate, you won’t be popular with the young men.”*
She suddenly commented on my figure. I stared blankly, thinking she must be joking, but she left after just one sentence.
*“Don’t eat anything today. You need to lose weight.”*
So my last meal had been a single cookie and half a glass of milk that I shared with Susan earlier that day.
*Gurgle…* My stomach growled as if it were sticking to my back.
“Ugh… running a fever makes me even hungrier…”
I had no strength at all, my steps dragging as I headed toward the bed.
Earlier, Susan had sneaked out, saying she would bring a little food after checking outside. Of course, I didn’t expect much.
“Mother is the kind of person… she probably threw away whatever food was left, having made up her mind.”
Even before the regression, my mother had always begrudged me food. Not only basic meals, but even rare desserts were reserved for my younger sister, Elene. Back then, I thought she was trying to spoil me, but it turned out she just didn’t like me.
Not only that, all the clothes and accessories I wore belonged to Elene. Usually, a younger sister inherits her elder sister’s things, right? For me, it was the opposite.
When I asked about it, my mother patted my hair and said,
*“You know how greedy Elene is. A good older sister should put her younger sister first.”*
At the time, I let it slide because I was happy to be called Elene’s sister and to feel her affection.
“Foolishly…”
I muttered bitterly.
There were other instances, too—taking Elene instead of me to the imperial party, proceeding with her engagement first… Anything good always went to Elene.
I had wondered why so much, but now I understood.
“It was all because I’m an illegitimate child.”
I buried my face in the blanket, smiling faintly. My past life, when I naively tried to earn love, felt utterly miserable and bitter.
Just then, Susan returned.
“Miss, I brought some food!”
“Oh? Really?”
I sat up in surprise.
Susan was indeed carrying two pieces of bread and a bowl of thin soup.
“Where did you get this? I thought Mother must have thrown it away…”
The bread was a little hard, and the soup was cold, but after starving all day, it looked delicious.
“The chef gave me some of his own midnight snack.”
“Midnight snack?”
“Yes. He said he would have taken it out earlier if he knew we couldn’t eat, and apologized.”
That meant the food had been prepared but later removed or discarded. Apparently, he hadn’t told the other servants in case someone tried to help me.
“Eat quickly, Miss. You must be starving.”
Susan offered me all the food with an apologetic expression, as if embarrassed that it was all she could bring.
I picked up one piece of bread and handed it to Susan.
“Let’s eat together.”
“Huh?”
“You couldn’t eat anything either because you were trapped here with me.”
“But…”
“And this soup too.”
I pushed the soup toward her.
“Let’s eat together. Bread alone is too dry.”
“Miss…”
Susan held the bread, her eyes shining with a mix of surprise and gratitude.
Tch, getting that emotional over something like this… I had been so bad before, but not in this life.
I firmly decided and said,
“Let’s eat quickly.”
“Yes, Miss.”
Susan quietly sniffled as she transferred the soup to another bowl and took a sip. I didn’t touch the soup, hastily devouring the bread first. But Susan only took a little soup, hardly touching the bread.
“Susan, is the bread too hard?”
“Huh? Oh, no.”
She looked down at the small pieces she had taken and smiled awkwardly.
“The truth is…”
“Hmm?”
“I heard that Master Karsian hasn’t eaten either…”
“…What?”
Why?
I wiped the crumbs from my mouth, eyes widening.
“He said… that you were suddenly pretending to be nice.”
“Pretending?”
“Yes. That you hadn’t tormented him. That’s what the others said.”
Susan said gloomily,
“They said it’s all hypocrisy… that makes it worse, so he should be punished, but only if someone suffers because of it, then you’d reflect on it.”
“So… because I didn’t torment Karsian, he’s starving now?”
“I was too busy sneaking the food here to know details. But the lady’s maids said so as they passed by.”
“Hah…”
If I didn’t torment him, I thought Karsian wouldn’t suffer because of me. But now, because of my so-called ‘good behavior,’ he’s being treated unfairly! Even if I don’t harm Karsian directly, I’m indirectly making him suffer.
I looked at the untouched soup and said,
“Then let’s give this to him.”
“…Huh?”
“I already ate all my bread, but I haven’t touched the soup yet.”
Susan had eaten the soup but left the bread to give to Karsian.
“So let’s split it in half and give it to him.”
“Miss…”
Susan covered her mouth, her eyes watering as if she’d been touched for the umpteenth time.
“Yes. Our lady is always so kind and warm…”
For a moment, tears glimmered at the corners of her eyes.
Ah, no… It’s actually my fault that Karsian is starving.
Feeling awkward, I fidgeted before getting up.
“Let’s go quickly. He might already be asleep…”
“He probably isn’t yet. I saw the light on.”
Susan hurriedly grabbed the soup bowl. I followed her, but suddenly remembered something and ran to the table. Susan looked at me curiously as I took the ointment she had brought.
“Since Karsian ran off, I couldn’t give it to him. I thought I might give it now, too.”
I looked at her, hoping that if I gave it with the food, he might be less guarded. Susan smiled warmly and nodded.
“Shall we sneak out quietly?”
We quietly made our way to Karsian’s room while everyone else was asleep.
Originally, his room was in a secluded corner on the same floor as mine. But as people lost interest, he was moved to a storage-like room next to the pantry.
As Susan said, light seeped through the door crack.
“Good, he’s not asleep yet.”
I whispered, and she gave me a look, as if telling me to knock gently. Holding the ointment, I tapped the door softly. Soon, there was a faint sound from inside, but no reply.
Karsian, being tormented, seemed wary of everything. I cleared my throat and spoke first.
“Um, it’s me. Latia.”
There was a brief silence. Still no answer, so I pressed my ear closer to the door.
Finally, a voice came.
“Go away.”
