Chapter 32
I had no idea how the day had passed. Teresia had spent the entire day in a daze, letting the time slip by. She endured floating through the hours with wide-open eyes, neither eating nor sleeping.
“Of course, I’m not asking you to tell me right now. I understand well that Your Highness will need time to gather your thoughts.”
“……”
“I plan to stay here until the engagement ceremony, so please come see me whenever you’re ready. It would be even better if we could occasionally share some delicious tea together.”
Yet, even in her daze, the memory of her last conversation with the saint continued to haunt her.
Even though she had known she would eventually have to leave… when the time came to make that choice herself, everything felt utterly bewildering.
Teresia, who had spent a long time curled up under the blankets, finally left her bedroom late at night.
She had decided to clear her noisy thoughts and find something she could actively do.
Passing through a quiet, dim corridor and descending to the lower floor, she headed for the castle library.
Contrary to her expectation of finding it empty and being able to look around quietly, Teresia unexpectedly noticed a faint light flickering in the darkness.
“……Anna?”
Inside, Anna Cordy was sitting, reading by the small light.
Anna seemed as surprised by Teresia’s presence as Teresia was by hers. Her startled expression, almost like that of an unwelcoming guest, made Teresia hesitate to approach.
“Oh, I didn’t expect anyone to come here at this hour.”
Soon, Anna erased her embarrassment and returned to her usual calm, expressionless face.
Teresia, however, could not take her eyes off the book Anna was hiding under her arm.
“I didn’t expect you to be here at this hour either.”
“……”
“Are you reading a rather interesting book?”
If she wasn’t mistaken, the book Anna was hiding had no information on its cover.
Much like the forbidden book Teresia had discovered here before…
However, it was not exactly the same as the book Teresia had read. Her gaze flicked to the bookshelf where she had once placed a book.
Before she realized it, Teresia had unknowingly approached Anna.
“I just came to look for something. But Teresia… what brings you here?”
“I couldn’t sleep. And staying idle felt boring… I thought I might organize my thoughts by reading a book, and it seems I’m not the only one here. Could you recommend a book? The one you’re reading looks interesting.”
“I didn’t know you had an interest in such books.”
“Actually, I know a little about these kinds of books myself.”
“I… I don’t understand what you mean.”
“A forbidden book.”
Teresia ignored Anna’s surprised eyes and took the forbidden book she had hidden on the shelf, placing it on the table where Anna sat.
“I have a feeling you might know a lot about this book. Am I wrong?”
“This is…”
Teresia watched in silence as Anna’s eyelids trembled.
With a heavy sigh, Anna opened the forbidden book Teresia had handed her.
Just as when Teresia had first discovered it, the empty white pages greeted them.
“You’re Cordy, right? Then I imagine you know quite a lot about forbidden books… Can you tell me anything?”
“You mean if it’s related to black magic?”
“Yes. I suspect someone has sealed the contents with black magic.”
“I understand what you mean. But… this is not black magic.”
“Not? That can’t be….”
Teresia frowned and asked again. She had naturally assumed it was black magic, so the revelation was jarring. The only lead she thought she had now seemed useless, and anxiety gripped her.
“Although my magical power is poor, I am still of the Cordy bloodline, former master of the mage tower. I do not sense even a trace of black magic in this book. I fear I cannot provide the answer you seek.”
“Then why does the Faelun Castle library hold several forbidden books?”
“Well… a mere servant cannot know the master’s intentions for everything.”
Teresia, whose hope had turned into disappointment, sat in silence across from Anna. Watching her, Anna hesitated before asking:
“May I ask why you wish to examine this book?”
“……”
This time, it was Teresia who remained silent. Anna continued without concern:
“Is it for your master?”
Her steady gaze mixed suspicion with a trace of hope. Teresia felt the weight of her eyes.
“Then… does your answer change?”
“At least… I will do my best to help you as far as I am able.”
“I assume you hold no personal feelings for me. Only for your master?”
“Yes. I came all the way to the north to serve him fully until the day I die.”
“Such remarkable loyalty.”
It was genuine, not sarcastic. Anna seemed aware of it, nodding without any further expression.
“Not just I, but everyone working in Faelun Castle would do the same. As long as they can achieve the master’s goal, giving their lives is nothing to fear.”
“Very well. Then I’ll ask you. For your master, I want you to tell me anything—even small details—about this forbidden book.”
It was already too late to care about appearances. And she had little time left.
Faced directly, Anna finally spoke with a heavy voice:
“To perfectly conceal and forbid all the words, I know only one method.”
“What is that?”
“Ancient Sacred Magic. A spell that uses the power of the goddess Ardenua.”
Teresia’s eyes widened at the unexpected answer. Sacred Magic, and from the ancient period closest to the goddess’s power.
So the method to unlock this forbidden book was…
“There just happens to be someone here who possesses sacred magic.”
Lucia Ardenua.
In the end, she was the answer.
Teresia left the castle for the first time in a long while. Other than briefly participating on the first day of the festival, she had rarely gone out. Though still within Faelun Castle, walking through the bustling streets refreshed her mood.
Her steps toward a predetermined destination felt lighter than usual. She headed to a chapel she had never walked to properly before.
As the empire’s princess, she had attended grand ceremonies under the chancellor’s arrangements, but this was the first time she had sought the chapel herself.
Passing the statue of the goddess Ardenua, seemingly kind but actually cold and strict, Teresia reached the tranquil chapel.
Upon opening the heavy door, it felt as though all the noise of the world had been swallowed; silence filled the space. The stained glass pierced her vision, the goddess’s vivid eyes seemingly pressing down on her.
Teresia struggled to not shrink from the sound of her own footsteps.
Her steps stopped beside a chair in the chapel’s center.
She sat as if entranced. A painting of the goddess, standing solitary among a field of dark poisonous plants, filled the wall and gazed down at her heavily, as if scolding a foolish daughter.
Teresia had never sought a god before. After all, all the punishments she endured stemmed from her own sins.
Therefore, she believed atonement was owed to humans, not gods.
“A daughter who has never been yours now asks of you.”
What she did now was not confession. She did not seek repentance or salvation, and she had no intention of fleeing from the burden pressing upon her.
For her, atonement was a grave.
She would become fertilizer for Aaron.
“If you truly watch over this land, then please…”
The goddess of abundance and poison. The duality of the title symbolized both extreme wealth and nourishment, which could also turn into poison. Teresia had long regarded it as hypocrisy. She secretly despised the goddess for ignoring human weakness and immorality.
“Please do not ignore him any longer.”
Yet today, she clasped her hands in front of the goddess with sincere intent. Such is earnestness. Weak and flawed as she was, she had no choice but to bow before an absolute deity.
“Teresia? I didn’t expect to see you here… Perhaps your mother guided you? Either way, it’s a pleasant surprise.”
A clear, gentle voice reached her as she kept her eyes closed and head bowed. She lifted her gaze to see Lucia standing against the radiant stained glass.
The woman, shining with brilliance, could easily be praised as a saint for her beauty.
“You must have something to tell your mother. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
Teresia, watching Lucia approach with a gentle smile, parted her chapped lips.
“No, it’s fine. I came to meet you.”
Perhaps my prayer is not so different from yours.
Teresia met the dazzling light without averting her gaze. Even if her eyes were to go blind from the brilliance, she felt it wouldn’t be so bad.
