Chapter 45
I Mortgaged My Life
Howard’s voice held a note of irritation.
Indeed.
Irina stayed close to him, yet every time Howard approached, she took a step back.
There was no way someone as sharp as him wouldn’t notice.
“What are you talking about? Not at all.”
“You’re avoiding me again.”
Howard took one step forward, and Irina took one step back.
“No—why would I avoid you?”
“Because I’m scary and a bad guy?”
When Howard hit the nail on the head, Irina folded her arms behind her back and diverted her gaze.
Howard let out a laugh of disbelief and stepped forward again.
“It’s not like that. It’s just… I was reminded again of how different you are from the kind-hearted Howard I used to know.”
“I would never harm you.”
“I know.”
It had been half a joke.
When Irina awkwardly smiled, Howard let out a low sigh and then knelt down on one knee right in front of her.
“Huh?”
When Irina questioned him, Howard took her hand and placed it on top of his head.
“You own me, don’t you?”
“…I guess I do.”
Irina finally chuckled awkwardly and gently stroked his hair.
It was just a joke.
He didn’t need to go this far.
Even so, Irina wondered again whether she had ever done anything that might earn his resentment.
Chapter 8. Contract
Decant’s atrocities were fully exposed by Howard.
It happened a few days before the ducal succession ceremony.
In the meantime, timid Irina was extremely cautious.
She was so afraid she might accidentally say something to someone that she even tried not to speak while eating.
Howard’s succession ceremony went smoothly, largely thanks to those who had supported Decant turning to Howard’s side.
After that, Howard became extremely busy.
To be honest, he seemed like a man running from something.
Irina had no time to feel lonely.
Whenever she called, he made time for her as if he had never been busy.
Besides, Irina had been suffering far more than before.
Nightmares, auditory hallucinations, visual hallucinations.
She was so confused that Casey had asked her, “Pardon?” numerous times.
She even began showing signs of sleepwalking.
It was a relief that he was busy.
Especially since whenever she wore that necklace to sleep, her nightmares felt worse—
so she stopped wearing it at night.
Maybe it was just her imagination, but she felt the nightmares were less painful without it.
Still, she could hardly sleep, and lack of rest slowly made her irritable.
One day, after such exhausting days, a letter arrived from the Grand Duke’s castle.
An invitation for a friendly meeting.
Until now, such messages always came through Howard, but this time it was addressed to Irina directly.
She finally felt like she truly belonged to the Grand Duchy.
Irina had a good first impression of Arensha.
Strong and cool yet warm and kind at the same time.
Someone who had a kind of composure Irina did not possess.
Irina gladly accepted and headed to the Grand Duke’s castle.
The Grand Duchess welcomed her warmly.
Congratulating her on becoming another master of the Ringester Grand Duchy, she handed Irina a crest engraved with the Ringester family emblem.
It was usually used to prove identity or family affiliation.
Anyone from the Borman family would have one, differing depending on wealth and ability.
The Ringester crest was a noble silver badge adorned with magic stone.
It had originally been meant for Howard, but she wanted to present it personally since it had been so long since they welcomed new family.
With this, Irina could prove her status anywhere in Borman.
After a short tea time, they promised to meet again.
On the way out of Arensha’s room, Irina was walking down the corridor to her carriage when someone approached from afar.
“Hello? We meet again.”
“Yes, we meet again.”
Irina greeted her coolly.
Rurasa pouted.
“I said I was sorry last time—so you’re alone today?”
“Yes. If you have something to say, say it here. I’m not moving somewhere else just because you ask.”
Rurasa scoffed.
“You really hold grudges, huh? But you should understand—I thought long and hard before making that decision.”
“What decision?”
“That’s what I’m about to explain. Hmm, well—”
Rurasa looked around, scanning the distance, then pointed behind Irina.
“There. That table will do. It’s not my space, so it’s fine.”
She meant the table in the Grand Duke’s garden where visitors could rest.
It was empty at the moment.
Irina decided talking there would be fine and agreed.
“Thanks. It’ll only take a moment.”
Rurasa took Irina’s hand and led her to the table.
“It won’t take long.”
“Yes, madam.”
Casey and Rurasa’s maid waited a little distance away.
“Good. But remember—this is for your sake too.”
Irina was already used to her cryptic, roundabout way of speaking.
“Well then, where should I start—”
Rurasa pondered a while, then straightened up.
“Do you think time can be reversed?”
“…You might as well ask whether I can fly.”
“I figured.”
“Then let’s try this. Child, do you think foolish love is still love?”
“Doesn’t everyone become a little foolish when they love?”
Irina muttered.
“Well, technically yes. But it’s different when you stake your life on it.”
“Are you telling me to listen to your life-risking love story?”
“No. It’s not my story.”
“Then why ask me?”
Rurasa rested her chin on her hand, looking troubled.
“Child. I’m frustrated, that’s why.”
“I don’t understand anything you’re saying.”
And on top of that, she even spoke like someone much older and superior.
“I can’t tell you. You have to figure it out.”
“Why should I figure out what’s frustrating you?”
What a ridiculous thing to say.
But Rurasa looked very serious.
“You must figure it out. Otherwise, you will regret it.”
“So the foolish love and life-risking love… they’re about me?”
“Hmm, maybe?”
It wasn’t a riddle, nor twenty questions, yet Rurasa kept speaking in riddles.
She would say something, then avoid answering.
Whenever Irina tried to leave, she’d throw out another question.
“You have nightmares often, don’t you?”
“…Everyone does.”
Irina pretended she didn’t.
But sharp-eyed Rurasa immediately noticed.
“Not normal nightmares, right?”
Irina stayed silent, then slowly nodded.
“Sometimes you feel strange, don’t you? Something’s tormenting you?”
“…A little.”
“On a night when the moon is close, look closely at the necklace.”
“The necklace? Which one?”
Irina asked, her hand instinctively going to her neck.
She grasped the necklace, hearing a faint clink.
Rurasa only said, “I mustn’t say anything.”
“What’s a ‘special night’?”
“Who knows?”
Then she looked away and hummed, stopping Irina from asking more.
Irina gave up.
“You won’t tell me anyway.”
“Smart girl. See you next time, pretty one.”
And before Irina could respond, Rurasa turned and hurried away.
“Hey!”
Irina called, but Rurasa only waved her hand and disappeared quickly.
“What is wrong with her?”
Fooled again.
But strangely, Rurasa’s last words lingered in Irina’s mind, and even after she returned home she kept thinking about them.
She barely touched her dinner.
When he asked if she had no appetite, she asked:
“Howard. Nothing strange happening lately?”
“No. Why do you ask?”
“No reason.”
That was the entire dinner conversation.
Then Irina went to bed early.
Late at night.
Irina had another nightmare, waking drenched in sweat and groaning.
Even awake, she couldn’t shake the heavy headache and clutched her head in pain.
After a long while, she came to her senses and opened a window for fresh air.
Going to Howard’s room with her pillow again—she’d done it too many times lately.
Not wanting to burden him again, she chose fresh air instead.
After her cold sweat dried and her breath calmed, she opened her eyes.
“It’s a full moon.”
It seemed especially bright tonight.
Full moons were said to bring strange things. Maybe that’s why the nightmare was worse.
‘On a special night, look at the necklace.’
Rurasa’s words flashed across her mind.
“A night when the moon is close!”
Irina whispered to herself.
