Chapter 44

“Could you put those eyes away? I need to get changed.”

He had already seen everything. His eyes seemed to say exactly that.

Still, standing bare before that clear gaze felt far too embarrassing.

Thankfully, he turned around, and she quickly darted out from under the sheet to get dressed.

As she did, her eyes caught the morning sun rising outside the window. Because of the long summer days, the sky was already glowing blue from the early dawn.

Ha… I spent the entire night doing such shameless things with you.

Her whole body ached with muscle soreness, and there was a lingering throb between her thighs.

“The sun’s already up. Just how many hours did I spend with you…”

She muttered as she walked toward the window. The more aware she was of Seonghun’s presence, the rougher her voice became.

Seonghun, standing behind her, spoke casually.

“Wanna go see the ocean, Gam Jeongyeon?”

She quickly turned her head and looked up at him.

Seeing Seonghun smiling so brightly somehow irritated her, and she answered bluntly:

“Aren’t you tired? I’m completely out of energy.”

“Want me to carry you?”

“Are you insane? You’re seriously insane.”

He might actually be crazy.

Still full of energy, still burning with desire to become one with her.

If you were my girlfriend, I probably wouldn’t have let you leave this bed. I might’ve crawled under the sheet you hid in, wrapped you in my arms, and fallen asleep in your warmth.

But you’re not my girlfriend. All I can do is hand you your clothes when you ask for them.

All I can do is suggest something cheesy, like going to see the ocean.

Her big eyes, staring straight into his, hit him like a jab to the chest. So pretty it almost hurt.

And yet, I can’t even tell you you’re beautiful. That’s why my insides feel so damn messed up.

Those eyes pierced right through him. Then her soft pink lips opened.

“Let’s go see the ocean.”

Swoooosh— crash. Swoooosh— splash.

The early dawn wind blew across the vast ocean, stirring up waves.

Clouds occasionally passed, keeping the sunlight from shining clearly.

Still, the air had that bluish glow that signaled the morning had arrived.

I stood beside Seonghun, blankly staring at the crashing waves. I suddenly thought these waves resembled our relationship.

I once believed our bond was as deep and strong as the ocean, impossible to measure.

But like seawater, it had shifted, flowed, and eventually—crashed like the waves before us.

I can no longer see you as just a friend.

I had to do something to reverse this. Anything.

“I… I’m not going to sleep with you anymore. Whether it’s helping you, or some FWB thing… I’m done.”

At her firm declaration, Seonghun turned his head and looked down at her.

The wind blew through her hair, strands messily covering her forehead.

She had to keep tucking her long hair behind her ear. Left alone, it would completely cover her face.

Then, gently, he tucked a few strands behind her ear himself and asked softly:

“What if I begged?”

“…Huh?”

“What if I pleaded for help? Asked you to sleep with me?”

Her face flushed with heat. Whether from his touch, or his blatant question—she didn’t know.

Or maybe… it was from the clear, resolute look in his eyes.

“You… you’re not impotent. You can function perfectly fine… so… meet someone else.”

“Someone else? You’d be okay with that?”

His teasing, provocative question sent her heart plummeting strangely.

Like a massive wave suddenly sweeping over her body.

Swoooosh— crash. The waves receded from her toes, the cool morning air grew clearer and brighter.

“Funny timing—your aunt, your mom, she suggested a blind date. The timing’s right… maybe I’ll go.”

“My mom? A blind date for me? Ha. Don’t you know it’s my dad behind all that? It’s not a date—it’s a setup for marriage.”

“Still. You never know unless you meet her. Of course, you could probably start dating any woman instantly if you wanted. But hey—this one’s right in front of you. Your dad would be thrilled, your mom would be relieved. Win-win-win… isn’t it?”

Win-win-win. Ha. Is she seriously saying that after we just had mind-blowing sex?

Telling me to meet someone else?

Her irritatingly sharp lips, which had felt so soft and sweet pressed to his not long ago, now tasted bitter and rough.

Her mischievously tilted eyes sparkled in the blue dawn light, so much that he wanted to reach out and touch them.

Someone else? When I’m this pathetically hung up on you alone, how can I even think of someone else?

“I’m an actor. Remember? I’ve got back-to-back projects. Where would I even find time to date?”

But you’ve got time to mess around with me? She wanted to say—but held her tongue. Instead, she spoke more coldly:

“In your spare time, then. Use the time you spend with me to meet someone useful. Think strategically.”

“Ha. Says the girl who couldn’t even count change in middle school—strategic, my ass.”

“Hey! That was middle school, and I was just bad at math. Ugh, talking to you always goes off-track.”

“If I sleep around with other women… will you really be okay with that?”

They were suddenly back on the main road again. Seonghun asked with a dangerously sharp glint in his eye, one that made her heart flutter in alarm.

Things were going smoothly—just friends—but again, she could only see him as a man.

She tried imagining him with other women.

Maybe his ex, Seo Yeora. Or that elegant, high-class woman she’d seen in his aunt’s circle, who looked like a news anchor.

I wouldn’t like that. Not at all. I’d probably hate you, a lot.

If you were still just my friend, Lee Seonghun, I’d probably celebrate it with you.

But now that I see you as a man… it’d tear me up inside.

This is dangerous. These feelings I have for you—they need to be cut off before they go any deeper.

“Sure. I’ll celebrate. Should I bring a cake? Or maybe send a flower wreath? With a big banner that says, ‘Congrats, Lee Seonghun: No Longer Impotent.’ That’d be cute, huh?”

“Why are you being so snide? You don’t like the idea? Me doing the same things with someone else?”

“Don’t make me imagine it. I’m going to throw up.”

“Because it’s disgusting? Or because you’re angry?”

She should have said disgusting. That would’ve been the right answer. But given both choices, the true answer hit her.

It’s because I’m angry.

Her lips stayed sealed. She tried to form the first answer, but then he beat her to it.

“I’d pick the second one. If I imagined you doing those things with some other guy… I think I’d want to destroy him. Wouldn’t you feel the same?”

That was dangerously close to the edge.

What are you saying right now? Are you admitting you see me as a woman too?

If he was, she wasn’t ready to ask.

“I should just be grateful you’re better now—bless your recovery—”

“You forget I know you. When you lie, your sentences trail off.”

Damn. She panicked and accidentally gave herself away.

“And you skipped the key question. You should’ve asked why I’d want to destroy him. Is it jealousy?”

He had gone too far. That final string holding their friendship had snapped.

By using the word jealousy, Seonghun had shifted everything. Now they were no longer just friends.

She had to shatter the walls and bare her claws.

“I liked sleeping with you. You probably did too. After all, I was your first. First time with a woman, that kind of thing… it’s indescribable, isn’t it? Those feelings, those sensations—it’s all new, all too good. And we grew up like siblings, you and I. Breaking a taboo like that? No wonder we lost our minds. That’s why we’re confused now.”

“Confused how?”

“What I mean is… we’re mistaking this for romance. That’s it. A misunderstanding. We’re just confused.”

“So… you saw me as a man?”

Shit.

She said “confusion”—but he heard the deeper truth buried under it. The one she was trying to hide beneath the surface.

Her head filled with noise.

“That’s why I said it’s a misunderstanding… If you see me as a woman too, then you’re confused too.”

“A misunderstanding…”

“……?”

“What if it’s not?”