HLMBIWP 11

Chapter 11

“…Well, Sir Izanar, I don’t think this is any of your business.”

“Baroness, good intentions don’t always return as good results,” he replied.

Then he added,
“There don’t seem to be many people in this mansion. In such cases, no matter how carefully you choose who to let in, it will never be careful enough.”

“Including when I allowed you into my mansion?”

“….”

At my cold response, Friane finally noticed the displeasure on my face.
Or maybe he had already noticed, but just didn’t want to admit it until now.

Friane fell silent.

“…If my interference offended you, then I apologize.”

“More than that, there’s something you need to return. I’d like it back right now.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“So, where is the handkerchief?”

Biting his lips in silence, he pulled out a neatly folded handkerchief from his robe and placed it on the table.

“I washed it carefully, but no matter what I did, the bloodstain wouldn’t come out completely… I apologize.”

I picked it up, but I had to search for a while before I finally spotted the faint stain.

“…Thank you for returning it. Well then, if you have nothing more to say—”

“I like you.”

His sudden words cut right through mine.
For a moment, I thought I misheard.

“…What?”

So shocked, I forgot my anger and asked again.

It was as if he hadn’t planned to say it at all—
as if he had been pushed into it, committing an accident.
His eyes pleaded with me, lost, searching for help.

What did he mean?

“Oh… you mean the handkerchief?”

“I think I like you, Baroness.”

No.
It wasn’t the handkerchief.
It was me.

…Me?

“I’m sorry for upsetting you. I showed such a shameful sight. This is… the first time I’ve ever felt this way.”

He bowed his head deeply, the back of his neck flushed red like a ripe berry.
His white robe crumpled in his clenched fists.

I wanted to ask him to repeat it, just to make sure I hadn’t misheard.
But I already knew repeating it wouldn’t change anything.
So I pressed my lips shut.

“What are you doing—”

Zaka’s voice came from the side, but I quickly raised my hand to stop him.

“Zaka. Leave us for now.”

“But—”

“Zaka.”

At my firm call, he finally lowered his head.

“…I’ll be right outside the door. Call me if you need anything.”

But when he said that, his eyes looked straight at Friane, as if warning him.

Friane didn’t seem to hear a word.

At last, the door closed.

Still, Friane didn’t lift his head.

I cleared my throat.

“So, what you’re saying is…”

“That attendant bothers me. If I could, I’d remove him from your side completely.”

His voice trembled like a confession at church.

“I shouldn’t feel this way. I know it’s wrong, but still…”

Finally, he lifted his head and asked,

“Would you… strike my cheek?”

“…What?”

This time I couldn’t stop myself from blurting it out.

This priest—no, this holy knight—was seriously asking me to what?

“Or curse me,” he murmured again, voice full of despair.

But then he shook his head.

“No, that wouldn’t work either. If you cursed me, I’d only think you did it because I deserved it.”

“Wait. How did the conversation suddenly end up like this?”

“I don’t know how to rid myself of these wrong feelings.”

I stared carefully at his face.

This was the same man who had defeated Rohwinas.
His face was beautiful, solemn, worthy of admiration.

But his eyes shook violently.
Eyes desperate for help.

Like a man being consumed by chaos he had never faced before.

“Why do you think those feelings are wrong?”

“Because I keep having impure thoughts about you, Baroness… and I can’t stop them.”

I didn’t dare ask what exactly those “impure thoughts” were.

“Well… even so, I can’t just hit you. And I don’t want to curse you either.”

His eyes trembled more, clinging to me as if he couldn’t look away.

The gaze was gentle yet forceful.
He didn’t seem to realize it himself.

Why was I comforting him? I didn’t know.
Still, I tried to answer calmly.

“Besides, you’re not actually a priest. Isn’t it natural you might like someone?”

“…Yes. But I have duties to fulfill.”

“Then of course it’s difficult for you.”

“No. It’s not difficult.”

“Oh… it’s not?”

“Yes. Because I have no intention of turning this into a romance.”

“….”

I went silent.

Did he just confess… and then reject me?

What kind of nonsense was this?

All the weight drained from me.
If this was just some strange accident, then it wasn’t worth worrying about.

“Honestly, isn’t this only the second time we’ve met?”

“….”

“Feelings that come so suddenly can also disappear just as suddenly.”

“….”

“That’s how emotions work, isn’t it? So don’t think too much of it.”

Friane, listening quietly, suddenly muttered,

“So… you truly don’t care at all about my feelings?”

“You said you want to push them away. You have duties, don’t you?”

“….”

Though he wasn’t crying, his eyes looked red and swollen.

No, really…

I didn’t reject him.
He confessed, and he rejected me right after!

But then—

He rose from the sofa.
And came to kneel at my feet.

Again.

It was the same as before.
But this time the shock was far greater.

A holy knight, kneeling before me.

He looked up at me.
His neckline stretched long and firm beneath the robe.
And with no inner shirt beneath, I could see straight to his chest…

I blinked rapidly, forcing myself to look away.

“I love you.”

His gaze caught mine as he spoke.

Another confession.

Like he was clinging to me.
Or begging to cling to me.

“From the day I first met you, I haven’t been able to think of anything else.”

“….”

“Do you… perhaps feel the same?”

The desperate, hushed words left me speechless.

Yesterday it was Zaka, and now suddenly… Friane?

My thoughts stopped.

Why was this happening?

“That banquet…”

I stopped myself.
The words were too heavy to let slip out.

If something had happened without my knowing…

A shiver ran down my spine.

This passion, this clumsy recklessness…

It reminded me of Rohwinas.
Too much.

My heart grew cold.
Anxious dread filled the empty space.

“…Please leave for today.”

I forced myself to stand on trembling legs.

“I’ll come find you later. We’ll talk then.”

I bit down on the words before I could call Zaka.
My head spun.
The world tilted.

I couldn’t be sure of anything.
I didn’t dare.

…So first, I had to confirm.

As I stumbled through the corridor after sending Friane away,
Julie and the coachman ran toward me.

In Julie’s hand was a letter.

The moment I saw it, my breath caught.

“Once again, you were a great help.”
“Thanks to you, I’ve returned alive.”
“I owe you my gratitude.”

Maybe there was one more person I had to confirm with.

Things I thought were simple kindness.
Things I thought were human connection.

All of it was crumbling, like sandcastles washed away by the tide.

“Baroness Anastasia! It’s an appointment letter! And a personal letter too! It’s from Duke Ishtan Gladinare!”

I shut my eyes tight.

The tent was dark and smelled sour.

I pulled down my hood and stepped inside.

“…Well. An unexpected visitor.”

An old man with half-moon glasses sat buried in piles of books, staring straight at me.
His bright blue eyes glittered.

“I know it’s rude to come uninvited at this hour…”

“Of course, you must have an urgent request,” he interrupted with a wave of his hand.

“But why me? I thought you’d have at least one magician ‘connected to you.’”

“Sorry, but I have no such ties with magicians.”

“Hmm.”

He didn’t look convinced.

To people who believed I had created the love potion, my words never mattered.

I stopped explaining and pulled over a chair to sit.

“You asked why you. Because I heard you made the antidote for the count.”

He meant the antidote that Rohwinas had taken—the one that cleared his mind.

“Then I’m afraid you came to the wrong person.”

“…What?”

“Officially, yes, as the magician of House Canesion, it was said I made it. But in truth… the process was more complicated.”

“….”

“Anyway, that’s not what you came to hear, is it?”

“…Then you don’t know how to make a ‘testing reagent’?”

“I never said I don’t know. Only that I wasn’t the one who made it.”

The old man frowned, displeased.

But I had no time to soothe the strange pride of magicians.

“I need a testing reagent. As soon as possible.”

“….”

“Name your price. If I can pay it, I will.”

“If you only pay what you can, will you really get what you want?”

“…What do you want, then?”

“I want to know—who are you planning to use it on?”

“….”

“A name will do. Well?”