Chapter 8
My mother did all the family and house work because my sick father could not.
She was kind and merciful, but when something was wrong she would get fiercely angry.
Every time she spoke, the people in the house never argued. They quietly agreed.
They respected the head of the family.
“You can’t be serious, miss…”
“You seem to be trying to teach me something again, Captain of the Guard. Have you ever said things like this to my parents? ‘You must not do that. Please reconsider your decision.’”
“Well…”
“No? You haven’t, right?”
Lorend pressed his lips together. When he fell silent, the guards behind him turned even paler.
“Then why do you say those things to me? Why do you act like you must correct me? Maybe I’m not good enough, is that it?”
“No, not at all. I would never think such a disrespectful thing. I only worry your decision could lead to bad results, so I offered advice.”
“Advice?”
I opened my eyes wide at that word. Before I could speak, Erkiel’s voice cut in.
“Since when does the captain of the guard get to make suggestions about family personnel decisions?”
“Well…”
“And ‘advice?’ Captain, do you think this young lady needs your help?”
The captain found himself trapped by those words. He looked at the guards behind him. I sighed quietly.
“Captain Lorend, I know what you want to say. You want to avoid weakening the guard, right?”
“Yes. Yes, that is correct.”
“But that is not the same as this. One of your guards tried to use violence against a child. He did not care because the child is a slave. Do you think that is right?”
…He was silent. There was no point continuing.
“My decision will not change. But I will write my parents a letter about today. If they decide differently, I will withdraw my order. How about that?”
“No—no, I will step down. You don’t have to bother!”
One of the guards who had been trembling earlier shouted suddenly.
“You weren’t wrong about anything, were you?”
“No, of course not. I know I was wrong. I accept your decision, Miss.”
My mother had strict rules for rewards and punishments. If she heard someone had tried to hit a child, she would not stop at firing them. They might be fined, or even jailed briefly. That is probably why they suddenly accepted my decision.
‘That feels bad.’
It felt like they were ignoring me. I felt annoyed. I had chosen a lighter punishment than my mother probably would have.
“Elena, will you take care of the boy? I will handle the rest.”
I looked up to see Erkiel smiling kindly. He signaled me to go. I sighed and nodded, then stood.
“Then let us move our talk to another room.”
“What? Another talk? But—”
Erkiel left, with the guards and Lorend following him, uneasy. When people left, the small room became quiet again. I looked at Rigel on the bed. He looked different from the first time I met him. He had his eyes squeezed shut as if remembering something. Even a wild animal can be afraid when it is young. If it had trauma, even a fierce beast can be scared. I could feel that Rigel had been through something terrible.
“…”
He wrapped himself tightly in a blanket and seemed to be holding something inside. I sighed. I had not expected to feel so bad seeing a child almost hit by adults.
‘Mom, maybe the world is not always beautiful.’
Adults had tried to hit a child and then ignored me in front of me. Not everyone is kind. Realizing the simplest things now, I began to understand why grown-ups smile when they call kids “grown-up.”
“Rigel. Are you okay?”
He flinched and looked at me. His face twisted, more wary than before. What should I do now? I thought for a moment and then knew. I moved slowly closer. Rigel grabbed my hand just like the first time we met. I hugged his head with my free hand. I am small, so I could not hold him fully, but I tried to copy the way my mother holds me.
“It’s okay. No one will hit you. Calm down.”
He breathed hard, restless, and tried to get away. I patted his back and he slowly calmed. The grip on my wrist loosened. He lowered himself quietly.
I held him for a while, rubbing his back, then sat back. His wary eyes looked at me. They shone like topaz. When the light moved in his eyes, I thought they were beautiful.
“Why are you doing so much for me? I’m a slave.”
“I told you. I don’t see you as a slave. I know you may not believe me, but please trust me. One day I will free you.”
Rigel bit his lip. I smiled a little.
“Don’t worry. Mom always says keep promises. I will keep this one. If anyone bullies you, I will scold them.”
“What do you get from that? You will lose more than you gain.”
“Maybe.”
“Then why—?”
“You ask why too often. I already told you.”
I pulled my lips into a small smile.
“You are someone important to me.”
“…”
“So don’t be sorry. Use me.”
My mother actually bought you to use you. Maybe you should use me back. That thought made me feel less guilty.
Rigel looked at me with a complicated face. Seeing his closed lips made me smile.
“Why so serious? Act like a child and say ‘okay’ and smile.”
“You—your master is younger than me.”
“That’s just how old I look. I am older in my head. I know a lot. Do you know the ‘Code of San Luis’? I read it to page two hundred. Amazing, right? Even students at the academy don’t do that. So I am like fourteen inside, right?”
“Talking like that is….”
“What?” I snapped. Rigel closed his mouth quickly. I laughed softly. Maybe he was improving. The hostility in his eyes had eased. He still watched me warily, but that would fade slowly.
“Let’s eat first. You haven’t had anything yet… Why do you look like that?”
He frowned slightly. I asked, surprised. He touched his shoulder.
“Ouch—”
He cried out and collapsed back onto the bed. Before I could react, he twisted and fell, clutching his shoulder.
“Doctor—”
I shouted quickly.
“Get a doctor!!”
“Nothing’s wrong?”
I asked the old doctor in surprise. He nodded calmly. He took his stethoscope out of his ears and looked at Rigel.
“His health is fine. For his age, nothing is lacking. I worry a little about his nutrition, but that would not cause fainting.”
“But he fainted suddenly.”
“Hmm. Physically, nothing seems wrong. Then maybe it is a mental issue. Like stress or trauma.”
“Mental…”
He did look a bit unstable. He kept calling for his mother. There must be a story. The brand on him probably affects him, too. I need to find a way to remove it soon.
As I thought, Rigel made a small sound and slowly opened his eyes.
“Mom…?”
He said it again. This time I pushed away my worries and answered.
“No, it’s me. Elena.”
“El—ena?”
He said my name slowly. His unfocused eyes became clear. He clutched his shoulder again.
“Ahhh!!”
“Ri—Rigel?!”
Why again? Why is he in pain so often? This is not like the “genuine” thing Mom said. If he’s her plan to make me an empress, why are problems always happening?
Rigel sat up slowly. His face was twisted with pain, but his eyes were very clear.
“Are you okay? What on earth—”
“Hush…”
“Huh? What?”
He spoke so quietly I barely heard. Then his voice became clearer, but it was small and strange.
“Please… kill me…”
