Chapter 70
She trembled all over, wanting desperately to run away. Amelia fought the urge to bite through her tongue, clutching the bed sheets tightly so her shaking hands wouldn’t be obvious.
“……”
She wanted to die. Rather than give her body to Aaron, she would rather bite her tongue and end her life. Wasn’t he the one who had ruled her life at every turn? Her mother, her sisters—all killed by Aaron’s hand.
Still, still… she had to endure.
Aaron’s hand traced along Amelia’s lips. His face, too, leaned closer toward hers. Unable to withstand the growing warmth pressing near, Amelia finally shut her eyes tight.
“Alright.”
Just before their lips met, Aaron stopped moving and muttered. He was so close she could feel his breath with every word.
“I understand now that you’re sincere.”
He admitted that Amelia’s feelings for Ivan were genuine. Amelia quietly opened her eyes and met Aaron’s gaze. He looked down at her with a cold stare, then drew back, stepping away from the bed.
“Why stop?”
Amelia sat up and questioned him, her eyes fixed on his back. It had been a moment’s resolve, but she truly had been prepared to endure him. Now that she knew Aaron liked her, this could perhaps become a weapon of her own.
“You like me.”
“……”
“Then why can’t you take what’s given?”
The question was crude. Aaron turned slowly and looked at her.
“With the emperor’s spies everywhere, what do you expect me to do here with you?”
His tone was cold, but composed, as always. If word got out that he had lain with Amelia, the aftermath would be unbearable.
“You should have tried that with the emperor instead.”
“……”
“Then you could’ve killed him easily, just like you always wanted.”
Aaron smiled faintly. Contrary to Amelia’s hopes, he had no intention of placing his heart fully into her hands. Whatever wavering he had felt was quickly steadied, and the sharp crack that had run across his mask disappeared.
“Such violent love and hate… even the child’s real father must be grieving in the heavens. To die and leave behind nothing more than this pitiful shadow of himself.”
Aaron reached out to Amelia. She flinched, shuddering before she realized it. That clear rejection flickered across Aaron’s face like a chill. He seemed displeased, yet within moments his expression was once again unreadable.
“Was it blond hair and blue eyes?”
Ignoring her resistance, he calmly began fastening the buttons of her dress one by one. Each time his warm fingertips brushed her back, Amelia shivered helplessly.
“Green,” she corrected softly.
Just as Aaron secured the last button, Amelia pointed out his mistake. And with that, he realized the apprentice cleric he had in mind had not been named Ricky after all.
“He told us not to make any rash moves.”
In case anything happened, an investigation would be necessary. With that thought, Aaron withdrew completely from Amelia and stepped away from the bed.
“I could make him emperor. Tell the duke that, and he’ll reconsider.”
“……”
“When everything is over, I’ll hand the throne to Duke Russell. Just let me escape safely with Ian—that’s all I ask.”
Her jet-black eyes shone fiercely. Aaron stared at that light for a long moment, then turned away.
“…Since your will is that firm, I’ll try persuading him.”
A cold draft swept through the space he left behind. Yet there was no trace of regret in him about not having taken her. Instead, he seemed consumed by a smoldering, uncontainable anger.
“Madam Howard.”
“The young master is playing happily.”
Seated on the rug, Madam Howard turned with a smile, gesturing toward Ian’s direction.
“He looks eager to crawl around everywhere already.”
When Madam Howard shook a toy close to him, Ian pushed his belly forward with all his strength to grab it, then flailed it wildly in the air. Since nothing serious had ever happened to him, it was natural for him to be this lively. The rumor that Ian had nearly died was the finest fruit of Madam Howard’s impeccable acting.
“His Majesty was exactly like this as a baby.”
Amelia quietly stepped closer and sat beside her. Ian, recognizing his mother, beamed and pushed himself forward on the floor.
“He grew bigger than most babies his age, and developed faster too.”
“……”
“Crawling, sitting, standing, walking, running—he was always ahead. Looking back, I think it’s just that he was impatient by nature, even as a child.”
Recalling fond memories, Madam Howard’s face brightened. Just then, Ian’s small palm landed on Amelia’s knee. She bent down and kissed his forehead, and Ian giggled delightedly.
“The only thing he was slow at was speaking.”
“Speaking?”
That Ivan had ever been late at something surprised Amelia. Holding Ian in her arms, she glanced at Madam Howard.
“Yes. No matter how many stories we read him, no matter how much we encouraged him to mimic words, he wouldn’t speak.”
Shaking her head at the memory, Madam Howard continued. The late emperor and empress had worried endlessly, thinking there was something wrong with the boy, but Ivan had kept his lips sealed as if determined never to speak.
“Then one day he opened his mouth—not with words, but full sentences.”
Madam Howard laughed in disbelief. Ivan had remained silent until he could speak like the adults around him—servants of the palace, his parents, Madam Howard herself.
“Perhaps he thought it shameful to speak improperly. I raised him in my arms, but to this day, I’m not sure.”
Indeed, even from then, Ivan had been extraordinary. His arrogance, his refusal to be second to anyone—all of it had been clear from the start.
“Do you think Ian will be the same?”
Looking down at her son nuzzling eagerly against her chest, Amelia asked softly.
“Since he already babbles with words like ‘ma’ and ‘ba,’ I don’t think so.”
Madam Howard gently dabbed Amelia’s dress with a handkerchief, wiping away Ian’s drool, though it was instantly dampened again.
“I believe young master Ian will grow to be brilliant too, though in a different way than His Majesty.”
She whispered as if painting a vision of the child’s future for the mother who wouldn’t be there to see it herself.
“That’s a relief.”
Her throat tightened. Amelia barely managed a trembling reply, stroking her son’s soft hair. In the temple she had hidden it desperately, but here in the palace there was no need: his golden hair gleamed more and more richly with each passing day.
“And this toy? I’ve never seen it before.”
Seeking to change the mood, Amelia pulled the toy Ian had been chewing from his mouth and asked brightly.
“Lady Clarke sent it.”
Madam Howard hesitated, gauging Amelia’s expression, before speaking cautiously. Amelia’s hand paused midair.
“She said she adores children. After hearing that the young master had been gravely ill, she sent various gifts.”
Clearly aware that Amelia would not be pleased, Madam Howard chose her words with care.
“She’s asked to meet him, but I told her your health hasn’t been well enough for visits. If you’re concerned…”
She even disguised Amelia’s displeasure as worry, her tact flawless. Not that it made Amelia feel better. Amelia shook her head.
“No need. If the future empress shows such care for Ian, that’s something to be grateful for.”
It was, in fact, fortunate. It meant Ian would have someone besides Madam Howard to watch over him. Even if Amelia were gone, there would still be someone to lean on.
“……”
Still, it left a bitter taste. If her son already loved the gifts from his future stepmother, surely one day he would come to love her too.
Of course, that was only right. For Ian, it would be a good thing. Yet when Amelia imagined the day he grew up and called Jane Clarke “Mother” with love, her lips filled with bitterness.
Because by then, she herself would be gone. No one would remember her.
And that thought was unbearably sad.
