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14. Café Roland
“Gone mad…? That doesn’t sound like something about Lucius.”
Then… could it be about Rayel?
The letter was unmistakably Alexandra’s, yet the contents were troubling. It seemed that something had happened to Rayel—but what could have been so serious that Alexandra would react like this?
Rayel would never do anything outrageous enough to be called mad. No matter how hard I thought about it, nothing came to mind.
As I sat staring at the letter for a long while, Warren, who had been standing by, asked,
“My lady, what troubles you? Did something urgent happen with Her Highness the Princess?”
“I’m not sure I’d call it a problem, but something definitely seems to have happened. The trouble is, even if I wanted to go straight to the palace right now, I can’t with my condition like this.”
“Then perhaps you could at least send a short reply? If Her Highness knows how unwell you are, she will certainly understand.”
“You’re right. Please prepare some stationery and a pen.”
“Yes, my lady.”
As Warren nodded and left the room, I rose carefully from the bed. Just then, Jane entered through the still-open door and rushed over in surprise.
“My lady, why are you up? You should be resting.”
“I received a letter that requires an urgent reply. Jane, could you fetch me something to drape over my shoulders? I feel chills… my body’s a bit feverish.”
“Yes, I’ll bring it right away.”
She placed the incense she was carrying on the small table by the bed and hurried out. Wrapping my arms around my shivering shoulders, I sat down at the chair by the table.
Before long, both Warren and Jane returned.
“My lady, here are the stationery and pen.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you all right? Your complexion does not look good.”
“I’m fine. I’ll just write a quick reply and lie down again right after.”
Smiling faintly at his concern, I pulled the shawl Jane draped around me closer and picked up the pen.
Alexandra had been so alarmed she sent her letter in haste—something must have happened to Rayel. But with my condition, I could not possibly go to the palace. The fever rising in me hinted at the onset of illness, and if I wasn’t careful, I might even pass it on to her. Better not to go.
I wrote a short, polite reply explaining the situation, and promised to schedule a visit as soon as I recovered. Folding the letter in half, I sealed it in an envelope with the ducal crest.
Rising slowly, I handed it to Warren, who was waiting.
“Please deliver this to Her Highness.”
“Of course, my lady. Now, please lie back down and rest.”
“I will. Thank you.”
Taking both Alexandra’s original letter and the writing materials, he left the room. Watching the door close, I leaned on Jane’s arm and returned to bed.
“Phew…”
“My lady, are you all right? Your fever is rising. Shall I call for a priest?”
“No… I think it’s just the medicine. If I sleep a little, I’ll be fine.”
“Then let me light the incense I brought.”
“Please do. Thank you.”
Jane smiled faintly, tucked the blankets snugly around me, and lit the incense on the small table. A gentle fragrance quickly spread through the room. They said it was good for restful sleep, and indeed, drowsiness soon overcame me. Feeling Jane’s quiet gaze lingering, I drifted into slumber.
Apparently, my health was worse than I had thought. For several days afterward, I battled a fever that refused to break, unable to leave my bed. The shock I had suffered recently, combined with this sudden illness, had left me bedridden longer than expected.
Well, I suppose it makes sense. I’ve been under strain for so long.
It hadn’t even been half a year since I had survived that terrible accident. The aftereffects had nearly faded, but suffering two serious incidents in such short succession had surely weakened me. Perhaps it was a blessing I was only this sick.
Thankfully, after about a week, my fever finally subsided, and my strength began to return. Two more days passed, and I was well enough to move around again.
One morning, before Lucius had left for work, a priest who came to check on me smiled in relief.
“You’re much improved now, my lady. A light walk should be no trouble.”
“Thank you, Father. I feel so much better thanks to your care.”
“Not at all—I was only doing my duty. Still, do not overexert yourself. For now, only short walks. Save outings for later.”
“Yes, I’ll be careful.”
After the priest left, Lucius quickly came to my side. Pulling a chair close, he sat and clasped my hand, his voice full of relief.
“I’m so glad you’re better, Tiana.”
“You don’t need to worry anymore. If I’m strong enough to take a walk, then I must be nearly recovered.”
“Even so, the priest said no exertion. That means no outings yet.”
“Yes, sir.”
I laughed at his firmness and nodded. Amused by my meek answer, he smiled faintly and brushed a kiss against my cheek. His lips lingered briefly before moving to cover mine. It had been a while since I felt his warmth; just as I leaned into it, he pulled back.
Looking at him wistfully, I asked with my eyes, and he said,
“Are you disappointed?”
“Yes.”
“…You admit that so easily?”
“Well, it’s true. And it’s better to be honest in such matters.”
We hadn’t even shared a bed for over a week, afraid I might pass on the illness. It had been too long since we last kissed.
“That’s just like you, Tiana.”
He chuckled warmly, clearly amused and pleased by my candidness.
“I miss it too, of course. Being this close to you again feels like forever.”
“Then let’s sleep together again from tonight.”
“But your health—”
“My fever’s gone. If I’m well enough to walk, I’m well enough for that. Besides, I hated being alone… it was so lonely.”
“…I felt the same. Without you beside me, the nights felt empty. Even if it was unavoidable, I hated the separation.”
With a sigh, he pulled me into his arms. Resting my head against his chest, I listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. Strong and comforting, it eased me.
“I’ll ask the head chef to prepare a special diet to build your strength.”
“Why?”
“Because if you fall ill again, I won’t be able to bear staying away. No—actually, I’ll need to keep myself healthy enough to remain by your side, no matter what.”
“Then you’re the one who should eat the health food, not me.”
“True. Still, we’ll eat it together. Staying well is what matters most.”
“All right.”
I nearly laughed at how serious he looked, but he was right. Lucius was already strong, yet the work he did was grueling—extra care would only help. I’d have to mention it to the chef.
It felt good to share such small, ordinary conversation with him again. After a while, noticing the clock on the wall, I straightened.
“Look at the time—you’ll be late. Go on, Lucius.”
“Ah, you’re right. I’ll be off, then. Stay in bed and rest.”
“I will. Oh, and when you’re at the palace, please tell Her Highness the Princess that I’m almost fully recovered, and will soon schedule a visit.”
“Of course. She’s been asking after you every time I go there. Alexandra will be glad to hear it. Still, we’ll wait until you’re completely better before setting a date. I’ll explain that too.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll return early so we can have dinner together.”
“Yes.”
He kissed me again before leaving. Watching the door close behind him, I turned toward the sunlight streaming through the window.
“What a lovely day.”
I thought of lying back down, but the warm sunshine was too inviting. I’d recovered enough that wasting such a day in bed felt wrong. Rising slowly, I walked to the large window.
From there, I saw Lucius boarding his carriage. As it rolled away, I tugged the cord by the bed.
A moment later, Jane entered with the maids.
“You called, my lady?”
“Prepare a bath and fresh clothes. I’ll eat something light, and then I want to take a walk.”
“Are you sure? His Grace strictly ordered that you mustn’t overexert yourself—”
“I’ll be fine. My body’s much stronger now, and he allowed me light walks. So please, make the arrangements.”
“…Very well, my lady. At once.”
After they left, I sat down, feeling fresher already. My health had returned, and with it, my spirits. Happily, I waited for Jane to return.
The first walk I took in nearly two weeks was wonderful. All the frustration of being confined to my room seemed to melt away in an instant. I hadn’t realized how sweet and refreshing the outside air could be.
From that day, I gradually lengthened my walks. By pacing myself, my health improved faster than expected. Within a week, I was nearly back to normal—able to take long strolls again.
And so, the restriction on going out was lifted. Finally, I could visit the imperial palace.
Lucius had wanted me to wait longer, but I knew Alexandra could hardly bear the delay.
“Lucius, work hard today. I’ll see you later.”
“I’ll finish early and come to fetch you.”
“All right. I’ll be waiting.”
We arrived together at the palace, and I headed to Alexandra’s quarters. After escorting me there, Lucius hesitated with a reluctant expression before finally departing. I waved as he glanced back at me again and again, until at last he disappeared from sight.
Inside, the head lady-in-waiting greeted me and led me down the familiar corridor. Nothing had changed. Then, in the distance, Alexandra came running.
“Tiana!”
We were nearly at her chambers, but she couldn’t wait any longer and rushed over, looking flustered. I smiled, puzzled by her expression.
“Alexand—”
“Tiana! My brother! My brother…!”
“What—what’s wrong?”
She grabbed my shoulders, her face deathly pale, and cried out,
“Rayel… Rayel has a woman!”
The shocking words left me staring at her in stunned silence.
