Chapter 46
No noble regarded Isabella kindly as the princess who remained unmarried until the age of thirty. Even her own family, the imperial household, belittled her. In fact, they pushed her further, calling her a disgrace to the royal family. Yet, she endured steadfastly.
The one who finally shook her resolve was Count Saint, a 20-year-old who came to the capital to inherit his father’s title. The story of how the young Count Saint fell in love with Isabella at first sight and relentlessly pursued her, begging for marriage, became legendary.
Isabella was ten years older than Count Saint. Many noblemen viewed the young count chasing after her as if he were insane.
However, women—whether noble or common—envied Isabella as they watched Count Saint’s constant demonstrations of affection. Performances depicting Isabella and Count Saint’s courtship remain popular among women even today.
The woman once rumored to be flawed quickly became an object of admiration. Count Saint’s courtship continued for half a year, and eventually, Isabella accepted his proposal.
Count Saint was a frontier count, tasked with defending border territories, meaning he could not leave his lands for long. Thus, Isabella, now his wife, had no choice but to leave the capital and move south.
“Even as I departed for the southern lands where his domain lies, I kept worrying about Your Majesty,” she said.
Sitting upright, she straightened her back, and the smile on her face vanished.
“That’s why I was so curious about you, Biyonne, who would stay by His Majesty’s side instead of me.”
Slowly, she inclined her torso toward me.
“I’m truly sorry for testing you.”
Even after speaking, she did not raise her posture, as if waiting for my response.
“Am I supposed to forgive you?”
I didn’t understand why she was apologizing. Until now, she had mostly led the conversation, and I had no idea in what way she had been testing me.
“I don’t intend to force you to forgive me or to demand that you understand my feelings.”
Isabella raised her lowered posture.
“Then why are you telling me all this?”
“I simply didn’t want to hide what I’ve done. I want to be with you sincerely, without any selfishness.”
She smiled brightly at me, warmth emanating from her gaze. From the moment we first met, I knew she harbored goodwill toward me, though I did not know its origin.
“You’re not asking what exactly I tested you for?”
“Not really. I’m not curious.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. After a brief pause, Isabella lowered her eyes and laughed.
“Hoho, as the rumors say, Your Majesty does seem prone to jealousy.”
“Rumors aren’t trustworthy.”
“Like the ones about you?”
She laughed, a light, girlish sound, referring to the gossip about me circulating recently.
After driving out the relatives who had been parasitically living off the Pisson family, rumors about me worsened rapidly. Condensed, they claimed I was cruel and shameless, ousting blood relatives just to claim all the Pisson family’s wealth.
Absurd as it was, people who didn’t know the whole story believed it. Unlike me, who didn’t care what others thought, Anasha and Evan, disturbed by the malicious rumors, tried to suppress them.
Yet, as if by some clever sabotage, news of my expelling of nannies and maids four years ago spread among commoners. The story twisted reality, omitting the wrongdoings of those involved, claiming I had cruelly driven away innocent maids while crying over the nannies.
Some of the expelled maids’ names were cited as witnesses. Anasha and Evan tried to find the source of the rumors but failed.
As if that weren’t enough, additional gossip suggested that through my interactions with Evan, I was leading the Crown Prince on while courting multiple men. Swift action by the Crown Prince and the merchants’ guild curbed some of the rumors, but the damage from those already spread was significant.
“I wasn’t necessarily believing the rumors, but since it involved the Crown Prince, whom I consider like a child, I was worried. I couldn’t help it,” Isabella said, a hint of apology in her expression. It was natural; she cared for the Crown Prince, and that wasn’t wrong.
Had her actions caused me any harm, the story would have been different. But I suffered no damage, nor loss.
“What did you think when you saw the gift I sent with my letter?”
“It seemed versatile and useful in many ways,” I replied.
“Hoho, it’s a multipurpose shawl; commoners in the south use it as a coat or knee blanket,” she said.
Indeed, Isabella’s shawl was high-quality but designed simply, unlike the extravagant styles preferred by most noblewomen. Typical noble shawls were embroidered with gold or silver threads and adorned with jewels, often impractical for casual use indoors.
In that sense, Isabella’s gift was perfect for me. Wide and thick, I could drape it over my shoulders during garden walks and use it as a lap blanket while reading.
“Does it bother you that it’s a design commoners use?”
“Are you deliberately provoking me?” I countered with a question.
She shook her head and explained,
“No, I thought it would be a gift you could use comfortably. I made it stitch by stitch, anticipating the day we would meet.”
“So, Isabella, was that the test you mentioned?”
“If someone dismisses the effort simply because it’s not flashy, I thought it would be detrimental to the Crown Prince. I wanted to see if you would recognize the sincerity behind it.”
Her expression was firm. It seemed if I had failed her test, I would never be in this room.
“Frankly, judging me based on that does annoy me.”
“I truly apologize,” Isabella bowed again.
“Apologies, but no regrets?”
“Yes. Even if I returned to that moment, I would still send you a gift, Biyonne.”
She straightened up and looked me in the eyes. Her gaze was unwavering, proud of her conviction.
“I accept your apology. But only once. I don’t appreciate one-sided tests.”
“Of course. Now I feel relieved. I was so nervous, worried that you wouldn’t forgive me,” Isabella sighed in relief. Despite her regal appearance, she had a charming, youthful side not befitting someone in her forties.
“Biyonne, there’s still one question I haven’t received an answer to.”
“What is it?”
“Do you love the Crown Prince?”
I didn’t answer. Even when I spoke to the Crown Prince, I was unsure of my feelings. I couldn’t answer what I didn’t know myself. My silence darkened Isabella’s expression.
“You don’t love him?”
“What meaning does love have in a political marriage?”
At that time, I loved him, but he did not love me. Yet, we married and became husband and wife. My love meant nothing in that union.
“I don’t think you’re naive, Isabella,” I said.
She had survived in the imperial palace for thirty years, surrounded by vipers. She couldn’t be the naive princess of fairy tales. If she had been that naive, she couldn’t have protected the young Crown Prince in the palace.
“You’re right. I’m not naive enough to seek love in a political marriage. But, Biyonne, love can still exist within it,” she said.
She leaned slightly forward toward me.
“There’s nothing better than being able to love the one you’ll spend your life with.”
“Love isn’t one-sided,” I reminded her.
One-sided love causes pain for both the giver and the recipient. I had painfully learned this with my heart torn apart.
Perhaps this time could be different. The current Crown Prince is not the same as before. Yet, his changes and my feelings are separate matters.
I still didn’t fully understand my feelings toward him. Until I do, I had no intention of acting from this position.
“Do you dislike him?”
Unlike asking about love, her eyes now anxiously searched mine for an answer. I saw no need to lie.
“No.”
I didn’t dislike the Crown Prince. Lately, he seemed genuinely decent. Isabella took my hand.
“It’s fine if it’s not love. You can start as good friends.”
Her hands felt slightly rough for a countess, shaped by cooking and household work.
“The Crown Prince is a lonely person,” she added.
Her expression, speaking of the Crown Prince’s mother, was tinged with bitterness.
“Crowned from birth, yet the 1st Prince already held his place. Even under the emperor’s protection, it’s not easy to carve a path.”
Her eyes conveyed concern. I could sense the Crown Prince’s difficult situation.
Though he never showed weakness outwardly, he had remained tense even after ascending the throne. Even I, focused solely on my love for him, occasionally sensed his unease.
Nothing had changed now. In fact, postponing our marriage may have worsened his position.
“I won’t force you. I only ask one thing: don’t push him away. He cares for you far more than you realize, Biyonne.”
