Chapter 42
Canaria gazed blankly at the silent tears dripping onto the floor.
“Ah…”
Her cheek still stung.
It had been a long time since her father had struck her.
It had taken her more than three hours just to cover the swollen, red cheek with makeup.
“How much longer must I tolerate you?”
She didn’t understand what he meant by “tolerate.”
It was his fault the family business was failing—so why did he take it out on her?
Why was it always her burden to find some excuse to secure funds?
“You must do well. If the Ducal House of Doltan collapses, do you think you’ll be spared? Seduce the Crown Prince. That’s the one thing you can do, born as a woman. Think of how you can contribute to this family!”
Canaria squeezed her eyes shut.
“Crown Prince, Crown Prince, Crown Prince!!”
She bit down on her teeth, unable to cry out.
Why did everyone act as though the Crown Prince were her responsibility?
Why was it her job to establish a connection with him?
“It’s as if…”
The breeze stirred her long hair.
“…as if the only value I have in living is that one thing.”
She clenched her fist and struck the ground.
Tap.
Even the pathetic, feeble sound left her knuckles scraped.
When she saw the beads of blood well up, she collapsed forward.
By then, the hall beyond had begun to fill with guests. Laughter and chatter drifted from the banquet.
Separated only by a pane of glass, Canaria muffled a sob.
“Velia…”
With nowhere to lean, only one person came to mind.
The one friend she could truly call her own.
That was the only reason she had forced herself out of her room and come to Velia’s banquet—because she needed a place to breathe.
When she arrived, she had wanted to throw herself into Velia’s arms. But she couldn’t.
Velia looked so radiant, so happy. Jealousy pricked at her chest, and worse, she feared she might ruin her friend’s precious day. So she had slipped away, hiding on the balcony.
Her tears fell endlessly, dampening the floor. She didn’t even flinch as she watched them.
It was better than being at home.
And yet, bitterly, she realized home and outside were the same. Both were lonely.
Nothing changed the fact that she had to bear it all alone.
Canaria buried her face in both hands.
“It’s suffocating… Mother, nanny…”
She almost laughed at herself, calling out to those who could no longer answer.
“Ah…”
To survive, she fumbled through her memories.
She wept, recalling the faintly beautiful moments of her childhood.
By the time the chill from the floor had seeped through her legs and dulled her senses, she lifted her head sharply.
She was late.
She should have gone to congratulate Velia.
Judging by the lull in noise inside, she had already missed the right moment to slip back in.
“…I should’ve congratulated her…”
She raked her fingers through her hair.
Her reflection in the glass was a mess.
“I’ll just have to wait until it’s over.”
Her eyes were swollen from how long she had been crying.
Every time, it was the same. She ended in resignation.
Her chest ached as if it would burst, yet in the end she accepted everything in silence.
She had no power to escape.
“The most suffocating thing of all…”
…was herself.
“Young Lady?”
At the sudden voice, Canaria turned her head and looked up.
The face was hidden in the backlight, but the silhouette was familiar.
“What are you doing out here?”
When the figure came closer, Canaria froze.
“…Your Highness?”
Her eyes widened.
Velia had told her—Allen-do wasn’t supposed to come today.
“The floor is cold—”
He stopped mid-sentence.
Canaria realized then just how disheveled she looked and quickly covered her face.
“Ah… Your Highness.”
“What happened?”
His voice was tight with urgency.
“It’s nothing—”
“If it were nothing, you wouldn’t be crying like this.”
Allen-do grasped the hands she used to cover her face.
Canaria inhaled sharply.
Because his expression was laid bare before her—
Confusion, anger, and worry all tangled together.
Facing that, she fell silent.
“W-Were you all right?”
“…I was all right—”
Their voices overlapped.
They both opened their mouths, then closed them at the same time.
An awkward silence returned. Velia glanced sideways at Carlton, who stood beside her.
“You’re not wearing your robe today?”
Carlton scratched his cheek.
“Allen-do insisted.”
“I thought you’d never wear something like this.”
“It’s an important occasion. I couldn’t risk spoiling it.”
“Even if you’d come as you were, no one would have minded. Just the Tower Master’s presence is an honor.”
“I doubt it’s anything so grand.”
“To me, it is. Truly. I’m glad… I mean, I wanted to see—”
Velia caught herself and cleared her throat, her cheeks coloring.
“You had business, didn’t you?”
Carlton simply stared at her.
“…Hmm. Either way, that outfit suits you.”
“Does it?”
He lifted a drink he normally wouldn’t have touched at a banquet.
“…Did you get home safely that day?”
“The academy, you mean?”
He nodded.
“If anyone should ask, it’s me. You were injured then… are you all right now?”
Velia looked at him anxiously.
“Of course. I’m fine. But what about you, Young Lady?”
“As you can see, I’m perfectly fine. I should be the one thanking you for that day.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for. You were in danger because I brought you along.”
Carlton shook his head.
Velia tried not to let it show, but her eyes searched his face.
Seeing him here, unharmed, eased her heart.
She had thought she’d have a thousand things to say when she saw him again after receiving his letter. Yet now, facing him, she found herself strangely tongue-tied.
“…I must have worried you. I’m sorry.”
“…Pardon?”
He leaned back against the railing, watching her.
“If I made you worry, I apologize.”
“There’s no need to apologize—”
“Not contacting you sooner was my fault. You’ve probably never seen me like that before. I should’ve been more considerate of how shocked you must have been.”
“It’s really all right.”
“…Then I’m relieved.”
His face was as expressionless as before, but his eyes were warm.
Warm?
Velia felt her cheeks burn and quickly looked away.
“…Isn’t it chilly?”
“Chilly?”
He straightened up from the railing.
She had only said it to change the subject. Flustered, she waved her hands.
“N-No, I didn’t mean—!”
Whoosh.
Flames flared to life beside her arms.
“Wow…”
“This should keep you warm, right?”
Even when she’d seen him use magic on Allen-do, it had been astonishing. Magic was simply wondrous.
Her eyes shone in admiration as she watched the floating flames. Carlton flicked his fingers again.
“Wow! They’re bigger now! Look at this!”
Velia pointed eagerly at the flames and glanced at him.
“Yes.”
There was the faintest smile in his red eyes.
Realizing she had practically begged a mage to show her magic like a child, Velia’s face flamed red.
“Do you like it?”
“Y-Yes… thank you.”
“And the cold?”
“Eh? Oh—yes, I’m fine.”
She rubbed her arms self-consciously.
Seeing her like that, Carlton moved.
“Ah! I really am fine!”
When he shrugged off his jacket, Velia frantically waved her hands.
“…I’m hot, actually.”
“…What?”
“I get warm easily.”
He draped the jacket over his own arm instead.
Velia’s cheeks burned hotter than the flames beside her.
