Chapter 43
Even after returning from the summer palace, Lydia couldn’t shake the heavy feeling in her chest. Normally, basking under the sun for a few days while gazing at the blue sea would refresh her. But not this time.
Stepping out of the stifling room, Lydia wandered through the palace gardens, walking under the blazing sun without even a parasol.
Passing by the spring blooms, she eventually found herself drawn to the well-maintained forest maze—a place she hadn’t visited in a while. As a child, she had often played hide-and-seek there with Eleusis. Hoping to reminisce for a moment, she was about to step inside when voices from within made her freeze and quiet her steps.
“Did you hear what happened yesterday? Sir Derwin and Lady Chanel showed up together at the party?”
“Of course I heard! And someone said they even admitted they were engaged. Can you believe that twist?”
It was a group of maids gossiping. Lydia remembered encountering groups of chatting maids like this even when she played in the maze as a child. It seemed nothing had changed.
The topic, however, was unwelcome. And yet, Lydia stood still, listening.
“I know, right? Poor Princess Lydia is the real victim here.”
“Seriously. If Sir Derwin had a fiancée, he should’ve said something from the start!”
“But I heard it kind of makes sense. Apparently, they got engaged years ago while he was abroad, and then lost contact.”
“Ohhh, so they were reunited after all that time? A love story for the ages?”
Their voices grew excited with romantic fantasy.
“Love story, my foot. Don’t you know how nobles marry? Love has nothing to do with it.”
“But if they were abroad, it must’ve been during wartime, right? Maybe it was a romance born from chaos.”
“Kyaa!”
As the squeals erupted around her, one voice broke the mood with disapproval.
“Romance or not, Sir Derwin was in the wrong. He should’ve told the princess the moment Lady Chanel showed up again!”
“But can you blame him? It was obvious Her Highness liked him. How do you suddenly bring that up without being confessed to first?”
“He’s always been consistent, though. Never once gave the princess any false hope.”
“Exactly. That’s something, at least.”
“And that’s why it’s so surprising. I heard they both looked so happy yesterday. Even that stoic Sir Derwin was smiling often.”
I don’t want to hear anymore.
Lydia turned and began walking back toward the palace.
“Lady Chanel’s so lucky. Having a man like that as her fiancé—someone who only has eyes for her and treats her so well. I wish I could meet someone like that.”
“What are you talking about? Don’t forget the rumors. His Majesty and Commander Kaisel are in the picture too. Doesn’t that look like a thorny path?”
“Oh, that’s true. Still… I’d gladly walk that thorny path in her place.”
“Right? All the top ten most eligible young bachelors in the kingdom, all falling for one woman…”
“Sigh… So jealous.”
That last talk of thorny paths was the final thing Lydia heard before their voices faded.
As she walked slowly back, Lydia recalled the moment two days ago when Derwin came to see her at the villa and laid everything bare.
“I intend to return the dagger you gifted me once I’m back at the palace.”
He may not have known why Lydia had suddenly come to the villa unannounced, but he must’ve known she wasn’t in a good mood. After all, he had served by her side for years.
She had come here after learning something from her brother Eleusis the night before.
“Don’t joke around, Eleusis. That’s not funny. If you’re trying to push forward a political marriage with the Kingdom of Larta again—”
“It’s not a joke, Lydia. It’s true.”
“…No way. Then why haven’t they said anything until now?”
“Because of you. Maybe you were the reason they couldn’t be honest.”
It was a sharp blow—blunt and precise. Lydia was stunned. She didn’t sleep a wink that night. Caught in a swirl of disbelief, she left for the villa at dawn.
But she wasn’t even given a moment to process things. As soon as her travel fatigue wore off, Derwin came and confronted her directly. As if he somehow knew she had found out about his and Chanellica’s relationship.
“It’s just a dagger. Keep it. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“It doesn’t suit me. I doubt I’ll ever use it. Also… I have something to tell you.”
Lydia wished he’d say nothing and just leave. Whatever he was about to say, she instinctively wanted to avoid it. But he gave her no chance to refuse.
“There’s a woman I’ve given my heart to.”
“…”
“She and I are engaged. That’s why I cannot accept your gifts any longer. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”
So it wasn’t just that they were living together—they were engaged. The word crushed her. But more than that, it was the phrase “a woman I’ve given my heart to” that echoed in her ears.
Standing before Derwin as he bowed his head, Lydia forced her expression to remain neutral.
“It’s Chanel, isn’t it?”
“…How did you know?”
“It’s obvious. You can tell by the way you look at her.”
That was a lie. Lydia had never paid attention to how he looked at Chanellica. Her eyes had only ever been on him—on her own feelings.
She then told him she already knew about their relationship from Eleusis, and made up an excuse for her visit—that she simply wanted to see the ocean.
“Then why did you pretend not to know each other when we first met?”
“At the time, it was merely a formal engagement with no feelings involved.”
“So now, you’re saying this because those feelings exist.”
“Yes.”
Congratulations, Sir Derwin.
Lydia wanted to say those words aloud. But her pride wouldn’t let her. Her raw feelings outweighed her attempts to remain composed.
So it had just been a formal relationship back then—but now, it was real. That meant when Lydia first met Chanellica, Derwin had no feelings for her yet.
And yet… in the time they had spent together, his heart had turned not to Lydia, who had watched him for years, but to Chanellica.
“…Then I won’t take the dagger back. You keep it. Think of it as a gift from Chanel, since she picked it out.”
Lydia stretched her face into what resembled a smile.
“And please tell her I won’t be attending Garion language lessons for the time being.”
Chanellica was a woman who drew people in. It made sense she had easily befriended many, including Eleusis. Lydia herself had liked her from the first meeting. So of course, even the steadfast Derwin had eventually fallen for her.
But regardless of how good a friend Chanellica was, Lydia decided it would be best not to see her for a while. She already knew how things would go—Chanellica looking apologetic, and herself pretending to smile like it was fine.
Before she realized it, Lydia was back in her room. She collapsed onto the bed with a heavy sigh, her motivation drained.
You didn’t hesitate at all, did you, Sir.
She smiled bitterly. The maids were right—Derwin had never once given her hope. And he had told her the truth, no matter how much it might hurt her, choosing honesty over false kindness.
That kind of integrity was admirable… and cruel.
Maybe I should’ve told him to stop guarding me.
The thought had crossed her mind, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. If he quit, he would likely become Deputy Commander of the Kaisel Knights—something she didn’t want. Even if he had chosen Chanellica over her, she didn’t want him to go there.
Back then, your eyes were lifeless.
She remembered it clearly—how empty his gaze had been when he first became her guard after being cast out of the Kaisel Knights. Even if he couldn’t be the man to share her future, she didn’t want to see him return to that hollow version of himself.
“Haa…”
And… I still want to stay close a little longer.
Lydia placed her arm over her eyes, blocking out the light. From beneath her elbow, a hot stream of tears trickled down.
***
“How is it?” Chanellica asked, her arm looped through Derwin’s.
“What do you mean?”
“Us, doing things together like this.”
The biggest change in their daily lives was commuting together.
If Derwin had to go in early, Chanellica came earlier. If he worked late, she stayed late just to wait for him. And despite all that, every moment was blissful for her—just being by his side was enough.
“It’s good,” he said simply.
“I like it too.”
Chanellica nuzzled her face against his firm arm. The gesture was so sweet it made Derwin’s face stiffen. He never knew how to react when she surprised him with this kind of affection.
Their engagement was made public when they attended an event together. It had all started with a simple invitation to a small noble gathering hosted by the honorary duke. Derwin had never attended such things voluntarily, but this time was different—he entered, escorting Chanellica.
People were stunned. Derwin, who never showed up to social events, had arrived with her. Naturally, they asked if the rumors were true, and right then and there, Chanellica confirmed they were engaged.
Word spread like wildfire. Even though the gathering was small and exclusive, the news had traveled fast. Now, there wasn’t a noble in the kingdom who didn’t know.
“How was the princess today?” Chanellica asked.
“I saw her briefly. She seemed the same.”
Lydia had canceled all her engagements and stayed shut in her room. Derwin barely had any guarding duties left. His post outside her palace let him check in now and then, but that was all.
“…Should I go see her first?”
“It may be better to wait until she seeks you out.”
“You’re probably right.”
“But more importantly—” Derwin shifted the subject. “I heard you had lunch with Sir Stern today.”
The sudden mention made Chanellica flinch. Though Derwin’s voice was calm, there was a hidden edge.
She recalled the meeting with Stern earlier that day…
