Episode 7
But the Duke only curled his lips into a languid, seductive smile and looked pleased with himself. He rambled on nonsense, saying things like how he would never let another man measure his wife’s body, and that he wanted to keep all knowledge of me to himself.
He’s really excited, isn’t he.
I took a sip of cooled tea. The sweet liquid tangled with the truth I was hiding and slid down my throat. I traced its path through my organs to the very end. Nothing slipped my notice. The movement betrayed me.
Bihan Fiar… You’ll never know what it is that I carry in my belly.
Along with the cold tea, my insides froze over as well.
“Julia, the tea is cold.”
My words came out a little cold, and Julia hurried to clear the teacup away.
“I apologize, my lady. I’ll bring you a fresh pot at once.”
The Duke was still gazing at me with warm eyes. Sometimes, that look made me happy. Other times, it suffocated me. And there were moments when it scraped at the very bottom of my heart.
Right now, it irritated me unbearably. I felt I mustn’t stay with him any longer.
“Tea time is unusually long today.”
Even at my blunt dismissal, the Duke was unruffled. He smiled, saying that in his busy life, such leisure was precious, and that he was honored to spend it with me. My insides boiled hotter and hotter.
I barely resisted the urge to scream at him to leave. I didn’t even know why I was suddenly like this.
“Julia.”
Julia quietly withdrew. I was the one who had told the Duke to go, yet it was she who left. My misplaced anger had struck an innocent target.
It’s all because I’m small-minded.
Seeing Julia’s worried face, I quickly reproached myself. A pang of regret hit me.
“Luen, my wife.”
The Duke came closer and bent down in front of me. I was so angry, and yet—even crouched down, he was handsome.
He looked up at me from below. I had never seen that face on him before. His expression was like that of a dog, gazing up at its master in blind devotion. The sight of those eyes, full of yearning, unexpectedly melted my irritation. Into my suddenly softening heart, his words sank deep.
“If you ever want to tell me something, please do. No matter what, no matter when.”
I nodded silently, but because of those words, I could open my mouth even less.
Please let me go.
The plea echoed only inside me.
Since the Ducal estate was in the capital, the palace wasn’t far. They said it took about thirty minutes by carriage. Even knowing it wouldn’t take long, I hesitated to get in.
“Luen, we should board the carriage.”
Why? Because it meant being trapped in an enclosed space, alone with the Duke.
I turned my head slightly from his amiable face, thinking fast.
Awkward feelings aside, a carriage was in fact a perfect place for private conversation. There was a driver, yes, but he could never overhear through the walls.
For the sake of secrecy, nobles often shared confidential matters in carriages; therefore, soundproofing was essential. And in the Ducal carriage? It was surely fortified with double, triple layers of wards—against eavesdropping, against intrusion.
Then this time, I could really say it.
A kind of shock therapy. He adored me now because he believed I was carrying his child. If I confessed the truth inside a moving carriage, he might be devastated, repelled by me, even unable to bear the sight of me.
But he wouldn’t be able to stop the carriage. He couldn’t just throw me out, either.
Attendance at the Imperial banquet was compulsory for nobles. Only a death in the immediate family, or grave illness, excused absence.
So he’d have no choice but to go to the banquet. But he wouldn’t be able to focus.
The Duke would inevitably sink into despair. At the banquet, he’d treat me coldly, distant.
People might whisper, sure, but I could avoid their eyes, slip away to the terrace, and pass the time. Once I was free, we would never have to meet again. Why should I ruin my plan over a little gossip?
And then, the Duke…
He would vanish, needing solitude to endure the shock. I would watch where he went, and send Sophia to him.
As long as they meet by chance, it will be enough.
The Duke of Fiar would find solace in her, and fall in love as if by fate. He would settle into the path destined for him, living happily—even if that happiness was only temporary.
After that, I would finally be free.
Even if I’m cast out at once, with no chance to pack, it’s not a bad bargain.
The jewelry and ornaments I wore right now alone could feed me for three generations. My maids, desperate to adorn me for the banquet—especially as it was my debut at the palace—had spent sleepless nights deliberating over my look.
Their theme: not overly gaudy, but displaying the Ducal wealth. The main color: silver, the Duke’s own shade. My gown was silver, its skirts studded with hundreds of tiny diamonds. They gushed that once I entered the ballroom, bathed in the chandelier’s light, no lady would shine brighter than I.
Good. The plan is perfect. I only need to carry it through.
Just thinking this relaxed my stiff body a little. Dwelling on all the jewels I wore soothed me further.
But when I thought of sitting with the Duke in that carriage, tension returned. As I breathed deeply, he chuckled softly, as if I were endearing.
“Luen, it’s your first time at such a gathering—you must be nervous. Don’t worry. It’s nothing.”
“Ah… yes.”
I wasn’t nervous about the debut, but I answered meekly so he wouldn’t suspect.
“Stay by my side. I’ll make sure no one dares to speak nonsense.”
His offered arm felt reassuring. Yet, when the two of us were alone later, and I confessed the secret I had hidden so long, he would be wounded. He would never look at me the same way again.
Well, he’d find comfort in Sophia soon enough.
Still, a bitter taste spread in my mouth.
Shhhk. The door shut with a soft sound, and the carriage lurched into motion.
The Duke asked if I preferred the window open or closed. I said closed, and silence fell. He didn’t seem to mind.
I reviewed my words one last time. You can do this. Don’t falter.
“Um… Your Grace.”
“Bihan.”
“…What?”
He wore a firm expression I hadn’t seen in a while. No matter how many times I called him “Your Grace,” he ignored it. He would keep this up until he got what he wanted.
In the end—
“…Bihan.”
The instant I said the final syllable, he crossed over from the opposite seat to mine. I flinched, but he pressed closer, urging me on.
Too close.
My fingertips tingled with tension.
“Again. Say it again.”
Though the atmosphere was strange, under his piercing gaze, my lips parted.
“…Bihan.”
In his eyes—was that joy, or the gleam of a predator? For a moment, I thought I saw a beast roaring. But I couldn’t be sure.
“Once more.”
“Bihan.”
The very next instant, he devoured me, claiming my lips with hungry force.
The only word I was allowed was his name. All other breath, he stole away.
Like a ravenous beast, he consumed me whole.
The Ducal carriage, emblazoned with its crest, was as good as a free pass. Unlike lesser nobles, who had to disembark at the palace gates and walk, those of Marquess rank or higher could ride nearly to the banquet hall.
Thank heaven.
That extra time inside meant the Duke and I could fix our appearance.
Nice work, Julia.
Hurriedly reapplying lip color before stepping down, I silently praised Julia. I hadn’t realized why she’d been so insistent, but now I saw—her foresight was invaluable.
Julia really is a capable maid.
Then I paused.
Which meant—
She anticipated that my lips would get smudged?
Shame flushed through me. I shot a glare at the Duke, who looked thoroughly satisfied, leisurely touching up my lips himself. Now how could I face Julia again?
She had assumed we would kiss in the carriage and even prepared for it. And yes, she had been right…
No, it wasn’t my intention. It was all the Duke’s fault.
I forgot entirely how eagerly I had kissed him back, and just glared harder. Maybe if I pinned all my embarrassment on him, it would vanish.
“Don’t look at me like that, Luen.”
His low voice resonated. I was about to ask why, but his face gave me the answer.
If I provoked him further now, it would be dangerous.
He was still torn.
Between entering the palace for the banquet, or spiriting me away somewhere private.
No. We must attend.
I dropped my eyes quickly, fixing on my reflection in the mirror. He, too, returned to his task. His deft fingers painted my lips fuller, redder.
“Will this do?”
He finally pulled back, joking lightly that it was his first time handling rouge, and he hoped he wasn’t clumsy. But it was flawless—no different from a maid’s work.
Did he really need to be good at this, too?
I cast him a sidelong look of reproach. After all, I had boarded this carriage determined to speak my truth.
Ah… right.
Defeat washed over me. Only now, as we prepared to disembark, did I realize I had failed to carry out my intent.
I meant to tell him here, no matter what.
But once again, I hadn’t. His skilled kiss had swept me away, and my grand resolve was ruined.
It was the perfect chance, and I wasted it.
I bit my lip. A plan unacted upon was worthless.
“Luen, your earlobes are bright red.”
He refused to let my thoughts drift, distracting me again. Having packed away the cosmetics, he now teased my ears.
“It’s time to enter the palace.”
I brushed his hand aside. He retreated with a reluctant look.
“Yes. We must let them know we are husband and wife.”
I hadn’t realized until now, but Duke Fiar was an incorrigible optimist. When he set his sights on something, he charged straight toward it.
Everyone already knows we’re married. Is it really that important?
I chuckled softly and took his arm. The carriage door opened, and the palace scenery unfolded.
“Shall we, my lady?”
Behind him, the dazzling ballroom spread wide.
Fine. I’ll find another chance at the banquet.
Whatever else, it was my first great party, and my heart beat fast.
