PHATFO 66

~Chapter 66~

“Mm, isn’t that usually the case?”

Armin gestured for me to sit next to him. When I did as he asked, he took my hand and closed his eyes.

After a few seconds of silence, he began to speak.

“Bella, do you know that His Majesty the Emperor is in poor health?”

“I saw him suddenly collapse at the auction house. And when I entered his bedroom, I also heard the imperial physician always accompanies him.”

“His Majesty has been that way since birth. He tried to build up his strength, but it didn’t work.”

“I see.”

“The reason His Majesty became like that is because of me.”

I looked at Armin, but his eyes stayed tightly shut.

I could tell what emotion he felt just from our joined hands—his were trembling.

“When His Majesty was still in the womb, my mother used poison. As an empress who had no heirs, she thought her position would weaken if a concubine bore a child first.”

But the concubine did not die. She survived and gave birth to a princess, who was now living and breathing with the Empire.

“Even though His Majesty knew everything, he treated me well. He never once blamed me. And yet I avoided him. I was truly ungrateful.”

“You felt guilty.”

“You don’t have to put it nicely, Bella. I avoided him because of my mother. She told me I had to become emperor… and every time I faced him, the burden of having to surpass him weighed on me. Yes, even knowing his weakness, all I thought about was defeating him.”

“…”

“Bella, I don’t think you’re selfish at all. But I think it’s fine even if you are.”

“…”

“I’m a vile and filthy person, and people who match me are rare. So you can be as selfish and petty as you want.”

If I fell to the bottom, he said, he’d be there with me.

His words were strange for comfort, but—

‘It doesn’t feel bad.’

No, it actually felt… good.

Perhaps because before my regression, there was no one who tried to tell me the words I wanted to hear.

“So, what I’m saying is…”

Armin gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

“Will we only hold hands again tonight?”

“Mm… I’ll allow a hug.”

After some thought, that was my answer.

“Bella might be worse than me. You keep trying to make my heart explode.”

Though he spoke like a complaint, Armin was smiling.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and lifted me up.

“Let’s go straight to the bedroom. If we stay here any longer, I might die from excitement.”

Armin began walking quickly. That night passed like that.

The garden entry pass, the result of the test, arrived a week later.

I turned the palm-sized, flat silver token over in my hands when Armin asked:

“Do you like it that much?”

“It’s pretty. And…”

I traced the engraved name with my finger.

It was proof that I was officially registered as a magician of the Imperial Family. I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

“It feels good to be useful to someone. Belonging somewhere feels like that.”

No one in Rohilton had ever told me I was useful. The name Bella had no value there, and in the end, I had to abandon it to survive.

That was why the name engraved here felt even more special—because I had been acknowledged as “Bella.”

“Bella has always had value.”

No one had recognized it before.

Gently holding my hand, sharing warmth, Armin asked:

“So, when should we leave today?”

He was suggesting we go to work together again.

“Uh… actually, I want to try going alone.”

Armin looked at me steadily.

“It’s not that I dislike Your Highness. I just… want to try using this once. At the Imperial Palace gate.”

If I went with him, the guards would open the gate—not because I was a magician, but because I was with the Grand Duke. I didn’t want that.

I wanted to see the gates open for me, on my own merit.

“…Is that not okay?”

“No, Bella. Do as you like.”

“Alright.”

“Just… please try to return early.”

Only then did I realize he wouldn’t come to pick me up later. He had decided to fully trust me.

I was glad for the change.

“I’ll try.” I smiled back.

Leaving the Grand Duke’s estate felt great.

It was rare to see the palace gates open wide with a single pass, and walking through the grand palace alone felt nice.

‘Yes, everything’s good except…’

There was one problem.

‘Where am I?’

Refusing the knight’s offer to guide me had been a mistake.

‘I should have brought a map of the palace.’

Why had I assumed I’d reach the garden just by heading west? The more I thought about it, the more foolish I felt.

‘Now what?’

Should I turn back? Wait for someone to pass by? Either way, it seemed I wouldn’t make it on time.

‘Maybe I’m already late.’

As I scratched my neck, someone spoke.

“What a strange place to meet today.”

“I told you to visit, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“…”

“What are you doing here?”

In a splendid uniform, trailed by attendants…

“Your Majesty?”

“Enough… I can’t anymore…”

“Nonsense. You can.”

“No, I can’t…”

“Come on. A little more effort.”

“That’s right, my lady. You can take more.”

“No!”

The repeated exchange made me snap.

“I said I can’t! I can’t eat anymore!”

I set down my spoon with a loud clack and clutched my stuffed stomach.

The one responsible for my state was the Emperor.

About thirty minutes earlier, we had met near the west side of the palace. I was lost; he said he was out for a walk.

[It’s not hard to take you to the garden, but…]

When I explained how I’d gotten lost, the Emperor laughed.

[Are you hungry?]

That smile—uncannily like Armin’s—had lured me into nodding.

Like before, he took me to his chambers and had a meal brought.

This time, even more food was served. It was clearly too much for one person, yet the Emperor barely touched his own and instead tried to stuff the rest into me.

At first, I ate because it was delicious. Then because he kept offering.

But a stomach has its limits.

[I’m full now…]

[You should eat more.]

[I can’t, Your Majesty.]

I looked at him resentfully.

[Yes, my lady, you need to gain more weight.]

Now even the head lady-in-waiting joined in. Facing both of them at once was impossible.

“Ugh…”

Back to the present, I lay slumped in the chair, staring at the ceiling.

Unlike me, who felt like dying, the other two looked quite pleased. The lady-in-waiting smiled, holding up the empty bowl.

“See? You can finish it.”

“No…”

It was you who forced me…

But my stomach was too full to protest.

“Your… Majesty.”

“Honestly, I feel good.”

The Emperor rested his chin on his clasped hands.

“I’ve never had such a long meal with Armin.”

My irritation faded.

“That boy avoided me. When we met, he looked at me with guilt. How could I keep calling him if he said I made him uncomfortable?”

“…”

“But seeing you eat like this… it feels like I’ve fed him well. I feel relieved.”

To do this to me and then say that… unbelievable.