Chapter 7
The imperial family weren’t the only ones with retainers. Marquises and dukes also had their own. They formed the foundation of a household and its power.
For the mistress of a house, her maids were like those retainers. It was customary to select loyal women from retainer families to serve at her side.
No matter how much power a duke wielded, without the support of those beneath him, things inevitably became inconvenient. Having grown up as the daughter of an earl, Shy knew well that dismissing them was not a wise choice.
“Did they commit some grave mistake or offense against me?”
“…No, my lady. There wasn’t even time for that. Before they could even serve you, you gathered all the maids together and told them you had no need for them.”
Rosa replied in a cautious tone. Indeed, it would have been impossible for all of them to treat her that way at once.
Sometimes, when a lady from an unwelcome family married in as mistress, the maids would haze her harshly—but not serving her at all? That was unheard of.
“For what reason did I dismiss them?”
Rosa answered with an expression that said she had completely given up hope.
“You said you didn’t like the young maids because they might catch the duke’s eye, and you didn’t like the older ones because they might meddle. You said that since they were retainers of House Riversta, they’d probably act like teachers to you, so it was more comfortable to keep only the maids you brought with you.”
Good heavens.
That was practically an insult.
As the Duchess of Riversta, she had disregarded the loyalty of the retainer families. That alone told her a great deal about how she must have acted here.
She couldn’t understand it. She couldn’t say she’d grown up showered in love, but she had at least received a strict education in propriety and conduct.
Her father might have acted gentle on the surface, but in truth he was cold and overbearing—more concerned with how she appeared to others than with her well-being.
From childhood, if she showed the slightest sloppiness or fell short of his standards in learning, she was scolded. She had learned never to make mistakes.
So as mistress of the house, she would have at least fulfilled her role to the basic standard. There should have been no need to leave herself open to criticism.
Then why would I choose to neglect my duties and behave so poorly instead? Did I think the Duke of Riversta would tolerate it? No… He didn’t seem nearly that infatuated with me.
Her confusion deepened, and Rosa cautiously addressed her again.
“Um… Once you’re better, will you be sharing a room with the duke again like before?”
Shy was a little surprised.
Sharing a bed was a duty and responsibility for the sake of producing an heir. She was not so young as to be shocked by that. Still, many nobles kept separate bedrooms except on nights they agreed to meet. Sometimes even after spending the night together, they would return to their own chambers once it was over.
But she had actually shared a room with the duke?
So that’s why he had no hesitation about physical contact.
She couldn’t picture herself in a loving, affectionate relationship with her husband. All her life, she had been taught restraint and composure.
It was the only way to survive in the House of Earl Alantra.
And yet here, she had not only behaved badly, but also shared a bedroom with her husband.
It didn’t add up.
Unwilling to believe it, she asked Rosa again,
“I shared a room with him?”
“Yes.”
Rosa’s firm answer left no room for doubt.
A mistress who threw her weight around under her husband’s protection—that woman from her lost memories felt like a completely different person.
“It’s strange that I didn’t find it troublesome.”
“You didn’t like being alone, my lady. The duke wasn’t always at the mansion, but when he was, you always shared a room.”
“But now we’re in separate rooms.”
“That’s probably because you’re ill and have lost your memory, so the duke is being considerate.”
At that, Shy asked something else.
“Rosa, I didn’t… hit any of the staff here, did I?”
“I’ve never seen you hit anyone, but…”
“But?”
“….”
Shy smiled faintly at Rosa’s hesitation.
“Did I throw things, then?”
Embarrassment spread across Rosa’s face. She didn’t answer, but her expression was enough. Shy’s voice held a trace of amusement.
“Sounds like it wasn’t just once or twice.”
“M-My lady, please forgive me. If the head maid hears about this, it will be terrible.”
Frightened, Rosa dropped to her knees and clasped her hands together. That wasn’t the reaction Shy had wanted.
“Enough with the kneeling. I just want honest answers. Could you stand up?”
“Y-Yes.”
Rosa jumped to her feet.
“And I’ve spoken harshly before, haven’t I?”
“N-No…”
“So I have.”
Rosa had been about to deny it, but Shy caught her hesitation first. Rosa bit her lower lip and bowed her head.
But Shy didn’t stop.
“I never got violent with the duke himself, did I?”
“….”
Rosa’s face went completely pale.
I’m not trying to torment her, but she’s going to start thinking this is a new form of torment.
“Even if it’s hard to say, please tell me. I want to know.”
Now tears began to fall from Rosa’s eyes. Shy soothed her.
“Then at least nod or shake your head. Did I speak harshly to the duke, too?”
“Not exactly harsh… but you did raise your voice at him sometimes.”
Rosa’s voice trembled as she spoke. Shy asked evenly,
“And I threw things?”
“You never hit him!”
“So I did throw things.”
“….”
That was enough to give her a rough idea.
It was bewildering, but the Shy Alantra—or rather, Shy Riversta—who had lived here was not the same as the woman she had been before.
Extravagance. Abuse. Arrogance.
The kind of behavior people would call that of a wicked wife.
Why had she changed so much?
Her position in the Alantra household had never been good, but she had never lived without caring about her reputation. If anything, she had wanted to do better because of it.
All the more so because her father and brother acted like a loving family in public, always mindful of appearances.
If her marriage to Riversta had been arranged, she would surely have aimed to be regarded as a virtuous wife.
Not this emotional, impulsive behavior.
“Here now, stop crying. Use this handkerchief.”
“I… I couldn’t possibly use such a fine handkerchief…”
“I’d be terribly hurt if you didn’t.”
When Shy placed her hand dramatically over her heart, Rosa quickly took the handkerchief and dabbed at her tears. To Rosa, Shy’s gesture seemed to be another form of intimidation. Shy had only wanted to know about her past behavior, but she now looked like someone bullying an innocent girl.
Suddenly, Shy remembered something else she was curious about.
“I heard I had three maids I brought from my family when I married. Do you know their names?”
Still clutching the handkerchief, Rosa hesitated before answering.
“Betty, Jacqueline, and Dera.”
If she had used her marriage as an excuse to escape her father’s house, she would have chosen at least a few maids she felt comfortable with.
But as expected, they were all her father’s loyal tools.
They might well have reported her every move back to the Earl of Alantra.
If so, one thing didn’t make sense—her father, who cared so much about appearances, had simply let his daughter build a bad reputation through such behavior.
I’ll have to check if there are any letters from Father.
He was not the type to send affectionate inquiries. At fifteen, when the world had changed for her, she had at first denied reality—but not anymore.
Even if he had written, it’s possible they were burned.
Not out of hatred, but because her father might have ordered it.
William Alantra was the type to avoid leaving any trace of himself in the duke’s household records. And since she had apparently shared a room with the duke, he would have been all the more cautious.
Still, Shy decided she would search anyway. Anything connected to her lost memories, she wanted to see.
She had to know.
Would those maids know I’d lost my memory? Would they already have reported it to the Alantra household?
She couldn’t predict how her father or brother would react if they learned of her partial amnesia. For now, she decided to postpone that line of thought.
“When I go to the annex, will I be able to visit the main building often? I’m curious how my maids are doing.”
“The maids… no, the ladies from the annex were banned from entering the main building as punishment for failing to serve you properly, my lady. They’ve been completely excluded from attending to you and are doing other servants’ work now.”
Something in Rosa’s answer struck Shy as odd.
“‘Ladies’? Is that what you called the maids I brought from my family among yourselves?”
