Chapter 17
What a disaster. Why isn’t she asleep yet? Diasi, uncharacteristically for him, was feeling extremely flustered.
He had assumed it was late enough that she would be asleep, but when he knocked, the one who opened the door was none other than Ella herself.
With a pale face, Ella opened the door, wearing a rather displeased expression.
Diasi, who had thought a maid would open the door like yesterday, was also caught off guard and found himself at a loss for words.
Although he didn’t outwardly show his surprise, inside he was scrambling to figure out what to say.
“…Uh… what are you doing still awake?”
You came here yourself—what kind of question is that? Even he thought his own question was stupid, and inwardly cursed himself.
As expected, Ella’s eyes were full of bafflement.
But her own situation wasn’t much better. Unable to sleep, she had been lying awake when an unexpected knock came at her door.
Since she’d been ill, Ariane had stayed in Ella’s room instead of returning to the maids’ quarters—but tonight, Ariane had gone back.
Opening the door in puzzlement, she found Diasi standing there.
Ella hadn’t expected him to visit her at this hour either, so she too was caught off guard.
“…What is the Duke doing here at this hour?”
Recovering her composure first, Ella swept her eyes over Diasi from head to toe as she asked.
Her tone made it clear she wasn’t pleased with his visit, and Diasi cleared his throat unnecessarily.
“…I just got back, and Rain told me you came out of your room today for the first time in a while, even had a meal…”
He was barely aware of what he was saying anymore.
Seeing Ella staring at him with her usual blank expression, Diasi felt heat creeping up his face and hurried to wrap up his words.
“So I just came to see your face. To see if you were alright.”
“…Thank you for your concern. I’m fine now.”
“Seeing your face, I can tell. If you’re fine, then that’s all.”
Having regained his usual expression, Diasi spoke firmly and turned to leave.
He intended to walk straight back to his room without hesitation.
“Wait a moment.”
If only Ella’s voice hadn’t called after him.
“I have something I want to say to you.”
Hearing a woman, for the first time, ask him for something of her own accord froze Diasi in place.
A few days later, the two sat facing each other across the same table where they had once shared a drink.
Same time of day, same situation—it all felt strangely familiar, like déjà vu.
But unlike before, the man before her looked somewhat disheveled, reminiscent of a face she had once longed to see desperately.
There had been days when she had no idea what to do without him. Days when, even knowing he wouldn’t come, she couldn’t give up hoping.
And the day that hope was shattered—when he did not appear—was the day Ella’s world collapsed.
It was the day a love she hadn’t even realized she felt came to a pitiful end.
As always, love was an invisible illusion. But without a doubt, there was no emotion that blinded a person more completely than love.
Humans could not live without it—
which was why Ella had to cut that feeling off completely before the shadows of regret lurking inside her could leap out and bind her feet.
“….”
Darkness crept in through the window behind Diasi.
Looking at the man seated before her, Ella got straight to the point.
“By chance… I overheard your conversation with your aide last night.”
At the unexpected remark, Diasi’s brows twitched as he recalled last night.
But as if anticipating his reaction, Ella continued steadily.
“Please don’t misunderstand—I didn’t listen on purpose.”
A deep crease formed between his brows. It had been entirely his own carelessness.
To speak so loosely in front of Ella, the daughter of the Mayer family who served as the Pope’s lapdog…
Diasi curled his pale fingertips into a fist.
“It’s not just because of yesterday. I’ve wondered from the start why you agreed to this marriage when you stand to gain nothing from it.”
“…And why are you telling me this?”
He usually looked at her as if she were beneath him—
but now, his face held no trace of its usual composure, and was visibly unsettled.
Ella smiled faintly at the sight.
“No need to bristle like that. Do you think I’m going to blackmail you with it?”
“You could very well do so.”
He was pointing out her status as the daughter of the Mayer family. She understood the implication, but didn’t care.
“Well… my parents do absolutely obey His Holiness’s commands.”
“And knowing that, you think I’d trust you?”
It was the first time he had addressed her as “you” rather than “the young lady.” It was proof of his current agitation.
Realizing this sent a thrill through her that momentarily made her forget the suffocating restraints around her.
“I’ll give you what you want.”
“And what do you think that is?”
“Justification. A reason you can refuse the Pope’s summons.”
“….”
The Pope was the one who had put Diasi in his ducal position—there was no way he could fully betray him. But if the Pope and Diasi joined forces, Ella would gain nothing.
If the two stood together, she would be powerless.
I have a chance only if I drive them apart.
And now that Diasi clearly harbored no warm feelings toward the Pope, this was the perfect chance.
“Am I wrong?”
Her words made Diasi’s expression darken even further.
Does this woman even understand what she’s saying?
Whatever gave her the gall to speak this boldly, Diasi couldn’t simply accept her words.
She was from a family that had served the Pope for generations.
Why would someone like her make such an offer to him, when she had nothing to gain?
Suppressing the tingling sensation crawling up the back of his neck, Diasi spoke sternly.
“So you overheard one thing and think you can jump to conclusions? Are you daring to insult His Holiness in front of me?”
Even at his sharp tone, Ella didn’t back down.
“No need to play dumb so desperately. I’m rather quick to catch on, you see. Even I, who know little of the world, have heard of your achievements after becoming a duke and a sword master.”
“….”
“His Holiness must see that as a thorn in his side. Even he can’t beat you in strength.”
“….”
“That’s why I found it strange. You know better than anyone that the Pope can’t defeat you—so why obey him? Why marry against your will?”
Diasi’s lips remained firmly sealed.
“In the end, there’s only one answer. You’re being dragged around because he has something on you, right?”
When she ended with a calm smile, Diasi realized—
she had indeed figured him out.
If this reaches the Mayer Duke’s ears, it’ll go straight to the Pope. Then my plans…
He had no choice but to respond firmly.
He had to make it seem like nothing serious, even if she’d caught on.
Under no circumstances could she take this to her parents.
Letting out a shallow sigh, Diasi bared his fangs like an animal raising its hackles.
“That’s right. I’ve been dragged to the Pope more times than I can count. So, is it your role to report this? Planning to tattle?”
As she’d guessed, Diasi loathed being at the Pope’s beck and call.
“I told you from the beginning—I intend to help you. I have no intention of telling my parents.”
“And why should I believe you?”
“You don’t have to. Just think of it as two people helping each other out of mutual need.”
“…Do you trust me, then?”
At his still-wary tone, Ella openly scoffed.
“Of course not. I said we’re just partners, didn’t I?”
A dull throb began in Diasi’s temples. He was aching for the cigarettes he’d left in his desk drawer.
No matter what Rain had said, he regretted coming to see her tonight.
“Aren’t you tired of living like that?”
“….”
He couldn’t trust a single word from her lips—
but the more he thought about it, the less it seemed like he stood to lose.
Let’s see what kind of nonsense she has to say.
After a moment’s thought, he tilted his head slightly.
“And what exactly do I have to do?”
His mouth felt dry. He feared whatever she would say—yet was strangely expectant.
And the words that finally slipped from Ella’s lips were more than enough to satisfy that inexplicable anticipation.
“Love me.”
Even if it was in the worst way imaginable.
