Chapter 33
The Imperial Library was a place of mystery.
It was a space permitted only to royalty—an area so exclusive that few dared even glance toward it.
‘Wow!’
I stepped into that fabled place, where rumors claimed it held all kinds of forbidden books and the sordid secrets of nobles, hand in hand with Eshidwa.
“It’s huge.”
Clang. The sound of the door closing echoed in my ears.
The room, which lacked even a single window to protect the books from light damage, was instantly illuminated by elegantly curved candelabras that flared to life.
“I didn’t know you liked books.”
“Yeah, I do.”
It was majestic and awe-inspiring.
No other words came to mind.
“This isn’t for work or study, right?”
Gems were embedded in the dark ceiling, like stars scattered across the night sky.
I took in the endless rows of bookshelves, filled to the brim with volumes.
“Being surrounded by this many books… It’s something I’ve dreamed of since I was little.”
The marble floor was so polished that it reflected the books from the shelves.
“Is this a dream?”
“It’s not fair that a place like this is reserved only for royalty.”
I couldn’t hold back my admiration, covering my mouth with both hands.
Eshidwa, brushing his hair back, quietly followed me around as I curiously explored every nook and cranny.
In this vast space, the only ones breathing were the two of us—Eshidwa and me.
“There’s no librarian?”
“It’s all managed by magic. If someone unauthorized touches anything, it could be dangerous.”
“So there are books here that important?”
“At least important enough for you to find them interesting. The one in your hand is a forbidden text.”
“…!”
Startled, I quickly withdrew my hand.
The book I had half-pulled from the shelf swayed and almost fell to the floor, but Eshidwa casually caught it.
“It’s okay to look at the forbidden books here.”
“No way. I’ve heard some forbidden texts can burn your whole body just by reading them…”
At that, he chuckled and held the book to his lips before tilting it back.
Everyone knew how dangerous—and at the same time, how powerful—forbidden books could be.
To see him looking at one like it was just a pebble on the street…
I instinctively backed away from him, but Eshidwa reached out his hand.
Thud.
“Careful.”
I almost banged my head against the bookshelf behind me in surprise.
Eshidwa protected the back of my head with his hand, then casually pulled out a book right beside my face.
I stared at it with distrustful eyes.
“That’s a forbidden book too?”
“Everything on this shelf is.”
“…”
“Don’t you want to read it?”
His tempting voice slithered up from the floor, curling up my spine. It was even more compelling because I didn’t know what the book contained.
Forbidden books held unimaginable power—ways to acquire magic, swordsmanship, spirit arts, to read minds, or even change one’s race.
At a great cost, of course.
“These forbidden books have been passed down through generations of royalty and used as guides for their learning.”
“But forbidden books are illegal.”
At that, Eshidwa responded like he’d just heard something amusing.
“These don’t contain what you’re imagining. Even the royal court judges have approved of them, so it’s fine.”
“Really?”
“Of course, if the world found out, there’d be another disaster. You know this, right? Even during the golden age, the world nearly fell due to a forbidden book.”
I nodded slowly at his words.
Eshidwa perched himself lightly on a ladder in the corner, gently swinging his torso.
I listened intently to what he said.
“The truly dangerous books are sealed even deeper underground than here.”
So the ones here are relatively safe, Inah.
In the end, I accepted the book from him.
It felt worth it to have begged him to take me into this forbidden space of the royal family.
I sat in a corner and skimmed through several of the books I’d selected.
Seeing the stack I’d gathered, Eshidwa asked with a hint of surprise,
“Can you read all those?”
“More or less.”
Eshidwa gave a short laugh and sat beside me. Instead of reading his own book, he simply watched me read.
As I turned the pages, he spoke again.
“Most of these are on swordsmanship or magic. They’re all useful, but for someone who doesn’t wield a sword, it’s like giving a real blade to a child. And for someone who doesn’t know magic, understanding it would be overwhelming.”
His eyes narrowed slightly as he said this.
I glanced up at him. He looked down at me with a calm, warm expression, as if it had all been well-meant advice.
“I’m just curious how forbidden books are structured.”
The fact that I was reading something only royalty were allowed to access—that alone made it worthwhile.
‘To think I’d get to read a forbidden book in my life…’
I lowered my gaze.
“Yeah, I get it. Something cruel like swordsmanship or destructive like magic doesn’t suit you.”
That caught me off guard, and I looked up from the book.
Eshidwa curled his lips into a soft smile and traced a finger down the book I was reading.
“But if you want to learn, I won’t stop you. I think it’d be fun to teach you myself.”
“I’ll pass.”
“Yeah? That’s a good choice too. Taking up the sword is a harsh and painful path, and learning magic is one of sacrifice and self-restraint. I wouldn’t want you to go through either.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“You do know I’m nineteen, right? Swordmasters pick up a sword as soon as they start walking. Mages understand the laws of the world before they even learn to read. Just wanting to learn isn’t enough.”
Stretching out my arms, I leaned back and gazed up at the book floating above me.
With shadows cast over his face, his darkened eyes scanned the pages.
A few hundred years ago, a swordmaster supposedly slaughtered over a hundred children to summon a demon and forge a contract in blood—that was the kind of dark tale that rightfully belonged in a forbidden book.
“Yeah, there’s no need for you to go down that path. I’ll protect you.”
“You’re not always by my side, so how?”
As soon as I said it, I bit my tongue in regret.
He was definitely going to say something cheesy again—about always staying by my side or how we could be together from now on.
“That’s not wrong, though.”
“…?”
“Why is that?”
“Ah, um… no.”
I quickly shook my head but couldn’t erase the question mark floating in my mind.
Eshidwa took the book from my hands.
He quietly flipped through the pages and murmured in a low voice.
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or just thinking aloud.
“All power works the same way. The greater the sacrifice, the stronger it becomes.”
“…”
“The more you wear yourself out, the more you drag others into despair, the stronger you grow.”
That was the nature of most forbidden books about power.
You don’t gain strength just by working hard or studying while others play—that story was too cliché.
The truly powerful secrets—the ones that involved shedding someone else’s tears or blood—were buried in these pages.
It was utterly horrifying.
Stories that demanded others’ sacrifices as payment—just disgusting.
So, so much.
“I’m sick of these kinds of stories. They’re so cliché it’s revolting. I don’t want to hear it.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“Gaining power through someone else’s pain—what could be more horrible?”
I exhaled as I looked up at the magically flickering flames.
From his embrace, the flame curved more elegantly than usual, flickering brightly.
✦ ✦ ✦
Before returning to the duchy, I stopped by a place I hadn’t been before.
“Winter’s already here, huh.”
I buried my red cheeks into the white wolf fur coat.
It was hard to believe how fast the chill of winter had arrived—so cold that warmth seemed impossible.
I liked winter.
I especially loved that fleeting warmth when snow melted in the air, tangled with the biting wind that cut into the skin.
“Haa…”
A white puff of breath escaped from my red lips, gently coloring the world.
“What brings you here?”
The half-slurred voice made both Kistchel and I turn our heads toward the sound.
