Chapter 2
The Boo Jung-tae drunkenly singing over there, in that long dream of mine, died exactly ten years from now at the age of forty-one from a heart attack.
The shock and grief I felt in that dream when I heard he had died were so vivid that, for a moment, I was startled simply because a dead man was standing right here.
In that dream, until the very end, Boo Jung-tae had tried so hard to find opportunities for the idol members I had raised.
“Jung-tae hyung…”
Maybe it was just a stupid dream, but after such a vivid one, seeing his face alone made my eyes sting with tears.
Another staff member sitting at the drinking table looked miserable, holding a glass.
Boo Jung-tae noticed I was awake, winked, and belted out the song one more time.
“If you can’t do a one-shot, you’ll never get married! Aah! Cruel person!”
Normally, at this part, I was supposed to jump in and shout, “Aah! Cruel person!” with him.
But I wasn’t in the right state for that.
I shot up, climbed over the staff sitting on the sofa, and threw both arms around Boo Jung-tae.
Feeling the soft flesh he had put on through expensive eating confirmed it was really him.
Boo Jung-tae burst out laughing.
“Hey, don’t cling to me so much. You’re too pretty, it feels weird.”
“Hyung, stop drinking so much. You’ll die young at this rate…”
“What, punk?”
Boo Jung-tae wasn’t the kind of person to get angry over something like that.
We had already seen every possible drunken disaster over the past two months, so mistakes made while drinking stayed at the drinking table.
In fact, if someone messed up while drunk, Boo Jung-tae would just laugh harder because it gave him something to tease them about.
When he reached for his glass again, I smacked it away.
It fell and shattered on the floor, but I cared more about Boo Jung-tae living a long life.
Even if it was just a dumb dream, it left a bad feeling.
And because the dream had felt so real, as if I had actually lived that life, my social skills had somehow improved in an instant too.
“Hyung, you really have to live a long, long time. I’m only barely functioning as a person thanks to you.”
“Ah, this brat has a gloomy drunken habit.”
“I just dreamed you died.”
“So that’s why you’re acting like this?”
Though he grumbled, Boo Jung-tae was already teary-eyed from being drunk.
“You little punk, how long have you even known me to like me this much? If you missed people that badly, you should’ve come out of your room sooner.”
Boo Jung-tae always cried when drunk.
And once he started crying, everyone lost interest in drinking and the gathering ended.
We called a substitute driver and sent Boo Jung-tae home first.
Then we put stylist Som-i, who was causing a scene saying she wanted to keep drinking, into a taxi and sent her home too.
After that, I absentmindedly headed toward the semi-basement practice room that had been my home in the dream.
Our practice room, which I had named “Love House,” because I had no sense for names.
The team in Love House was called Square at first because there were four members.
Later we recruited one more and became five.
The members teased me, asking what I planned to do now, but they didn’t criticize me.
I arrived in front of the practice room and entered the password.
Wrong.
I tried two more times.
Still wrong.
The lock activated for thirty minutes.
“Ah, right. It was all a dream.”
I muttered and collapsed in front of the door.
Then I blinked and stared up at it again.
Wait.
If it was just a dream…
Why does this practice room actually exist?
* * *
“Kid! You’ll die at this rate!”
Kid? I’m an adult now…
“Open your eyes!”
When I opened my eyes, it was ten o’clock, and two middle-aged women and one older man were standing over me.
When I forced my sleep-crusted eyes open, one of the women smacked my shoulder.
“Good grief, you’re crazy! Trying to freeze to death out here?”
“How can someone your age get this drunk already? Where are your parents?”
Before I could even listen to the full lecture, my hangover hit.
I ran up the stairs I saw nearby.
Clinging to a wall, I dry-heaved.
Then I made eye contact with some kids inside the semi-basement practice room window, who were looking at me and snickering.
And the inside looked strangely…
“…Exactly like in the dream.”
Not just that.
When I stood up, even the alley felt familiar.
If dreams reflect reality, then I should have been here before.
But I had no memory of it.
Confused, I pulled out the phone that had been vibrating in my pocket.
It was Mom.
“Hae-won, where are you? Jung-tae says he can’t reach you!”
“Uh… I got drunk and fell asleep outside.”
I should’ve lied.
But half-awake, I told the truth.
“My goodness, I can’t live like this. How much did you drink to fall asleep in the street?”
“Mom, but…”
“When did I ever tell you to make money or go to college? You staying shut in your room was less trouble than this, you brat!”
“Did we ever live around here? Changcheon-dong. Why am I here…?”
“You’ll get alcoholic dementia at a young age. I saw it on TV…”
It had been a long time since I’d heard Mom nagging.
And strangely, it made me feel better.
If she had the energy to nag, it meant she had some peace of mind.
After I joined the audition show The Idol Chosen by the Nation, I stopped leaving my room.
Back then, neither Mom nor Dad nagged me.
They probably just suffered quietly and cried a lot.
Then, around college entrance exam season when I was nineteen, Director Kwak Yoon-yong, who felt guilty for being involved in that show and was now the all-purpose manager at Park Jong-ryeol Entertainment, contacted me.
He asked if I wanted to quickly get my license and try road management work.
He even promised he’d save me a place after military service.
And even when I still refused to leave my room despite that opportunity, my parents couldn’t be harsh with me.
But my older sister, ten years older than me, was different.
The moment she heard, she flew back from England, ripped the doorknob off my room, dragged me outside, and taught me driving.
Parents and older sisters really do serve different roles.
After hanging up, I thought I needed to sober up first.
Then a girl in a taekwondo uniform popped out from the basement stairs.
“You can’t sleep here!”
In the dream, five daughters had nagged me so much my back practically bent, so out of habit I shrank back and answered,
“Y-yeah, I won’t do it again. Sorry, sorry.”
Because of that long dream, I suddenly felt much older.
Little kids all felt like children to me.
I was still dazed and shaking my head when a whole bunch of kids spilled out from the basement.
I already felt miserable, and having a swarm of kids rush me made the world seem to wobble.
Groaning, I asked,
“Sorry, do you have any water?”
“No! Ah, wait, yes.”
One kid ran into the dojo and came back holding a disposable paper cup in both hands.
There was only a single sip of water inside, but I appreciated the effort and drank it.
“Thanks. But why are you all out here? Go back inside.”
“It’s break time!”
“Our instructor told us to rest!”
Hearing “instructor” felt strange.
I remembered that from the dream.
There had been a taekwondo master who, even after closing his gym and renting the practice room to me, came every year crying drunk in front of it and scaring my girls.
Though… I think he got caught dating multiple parents at once or something.
Well, dreams are dreams.
Probably not real.
Maybe I had passed this alley once before and it stayed in my memory.
Dreams reflect reality, after all.
The kids looked like they wanted to play with me, but I forced myself to ignore their eager eyes and walked away.
Boo Jung-tae’s schedule today started at two with a mukbang broadcast.
The Carnival van was at the company, so I had to head there first.
Thanks to my unwanted night outdoors, I sobered up early and had time to spare.
I checked my pocket, found a cigarette, pulled it out, and was just lighting it when my phone rang.
It was Director Kwak Yoon-yong, the one who had gotten me this job.
“Hae-won, where are you?”
“Uh, hy… Director.”
I thought I had sobered up, but maybe not.
Because of the closeness I’d felt in the dream, I almost called him “hyung.”
Regardless of any pity he had for me, if a guy who joined two months ago called him that, he’d probably feed me insults for breakfast.
“I’m on my way right now.”
“Really? Jung-tae said you were dead.”
“Ah, I was dead, but I woke up early because it was cold sleeping outside.”
Director Kwak burst out laughing.
People at Park Jong-ryeol Entertainment were very tolerant about drinking.
“What the hell, I heard you never left your room, but you talk fine. Even Jung-tae likes you more than expected.”
No matter how powerful Director Kwak was in the company, I never could’ve been hired if Boo Jung-tae hadn’t agreed to take me on.
And honestly, Boo Jung-tae had treated me very comfortably.
Though I’d been drunk the whole two months, so I hadn’t had much chance to feel uncomfortable anyway…
Back when The Idol Chosen by the Nation was airing, it felt like every adult in the world was pushing me off a cliff.
But after leaving my room, I realized it wasn’t quite like that.
Director Kwak said,
“Anyway, you keep going around with Jung-tae… no, forget it. Team 1 needs someone right now.”
“Team 1?”
The entertainment industry was basically small-time operations everywhere.
No matter the company size.
Aside from a few old, solid companies…
Actually, does a solid entertainment company even exist?
Isn’t that just a fantasy?
Director Kwak had been about to tell me to keep working with Boo Jung-tae, then suddenly changed my assignment.
In the dream, I vaguely remembered him offering to send me to Team 1 too.
Back then I had begged not to go, saying I’d die.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
Park Jong-ryeol Entertainment’s Business Team 1 existed solely for trot singer Park Hee-young.
Director Kwak sounded dumbfounded.
“Are you crazy? Stick with Jung-tae and you’ll keep living easy. If you go with Hee-young, I’d bet my arm you quit the company in three months.”
“Ah, but you told me to go.”
“‘You told me to go’? Listen to this kid acting equal just because he turned legal.”
Anyway, he was right.
With Boo Jung-tae, there were only around fourteen schedules a month.
Just busy enough.
Lots of food tour schedules.
While he ate, I played phone games and chatted.
Then after the broadcast, we’d go drinking, black out, and wake up the next day.
But Park Hee-young was different.
Forty schedules a month.
Traveling all over the country.
I was the only manager for Boo Jung-tae, but Park Hee-young had three managers rotating around her and they still kept quitting.
I knew all that.
But I decided to become Park Hee-young’s manager.
After that nightmare, I felt fully awake.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Square, the girl group I ruined in the dream.
If I keep living by avoiding everything…
One day I might not only ruin my own life,
but ruin someone else’s too.
