Chapter 28
Why I Hate the Rain
In the end, I couldn’t go out that day. It was far too late to head out.
After strolling through the garden in Eyzar’s arms, I called for the servants as soon as I saw their backs, hoping for some help. But they seemed to be in a hurry and quickly disappeared.
Thanks to that, I stayed in his arms—like a princess—until we returned inside the mansion.
Once inside, I wanted to put on the new shoes I had asked a servant to bring. But Eyzar insisted on seeing the house physician first to make sure my feet weren’t hurt. I went along with him.
After hearing that everything was perfectly fine, he spoke, a bit embarrassed:
“Sorry, wife. Now that I think about it… I was all sweaty while holding you. Were you okay the entire time?”
Hearing that, I felt like I should change or at least wash up. But if I did, the shop selling gloves might already be closed.
‘You went through all that trouble to get ready… I hope I didn’t waste your time.’
‘Not at all! I was the one who caused the mishap. Besides, I can always go out tomorrow. Surely, it won’t rain?’
And yet, there I was, watching the heavy rain pour outside from my bedroom window.
‘I really wanted to give Eyzar his gift…’
I felt a pang of regret, but it was too dangerous to go out in this rain. Besides, I was worried about Eyzar sitting beside me.
“Are you still thinking of going out?”
“If I go quickly, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
“No. It’s dangerous. What if the carriage slips on the wet road while you’re hurrying?”
“But Eyzar, weren’t you going to train the knights in this rain?”
I had woken early, startled by the rain tapping on the window. I had looked for Eyzar, thinking he might be out somewhere.
I didn’t think he would actually train in this weather… but the loud shouts of knights echoed from outside. I tugged the bell rope to call Amber.
She sighed and said that Eyzar never skips training, regardless of the weather, and had taken the knights outside.
The ground was muddy and visibility poor. What if someone caught a cold? Worrying, I headed toward Eyzar.
He noticed me immediately and tried to bring me back inside.
“Wife. What if you catch a cold? Why are you out here?”
“Eyzar, you’re the one at risk. The visibility is poor, the ground slippery. Isn’t it dangerous?”
“I’m fine. I can continue as usual.”
He insisted on continuing training. If it weren’t for the knights quietly shielding me from danger, he might have carried on.
“Lady! Help! Cough, cough! We’re all dying out here!”
“Training in this heavy rain… it’s cold, we’re hungry, sleepy…”
“Lady came to stop us, but our lord stubbornly refuses, cough!”
Eventually, even Eyzar gave up and came inside. Thanks to that, we were able to have breakfast together, and he remained leisurely beside me.
Whatever discontent he might have had earlier vanished, and he clung to me like a squirrel.
“Haah…”
‘I’m exhausted. Up since dawn, running around in this rain…’
I yawned, leaning back on the chair. Eyzar spoke softly.
“Wife, if you’re tired, you may go rest in the bedroom.”
“If I go rest, you’ll probably attend to work, right?”
“No….”
Clearly not. His face gave it away.
“Even a day of rest is fine. Resting improves efficiency the next day.”
“I know, but since I succeeded to the dukedom, I’ve never let my own feelings interfere. I worry about the people around me. That’s why I hesitate to allow myself such leisure.”
He was probably thinking of Bertisha. I understood his feelings, but overworking himself wouldn’t help him appreciate what really mattered.
“Everyone around you knows how hard you work. You deserve some time for yourself. Focusing solely on work makes you neglect the most important things.”
Exactly. Just like those people who loved Julietta but didn’t even notice she had left, Eyzar’s world could pass by precious moments unnoticed.
“Is that… from your own experience, wife?”
“Hmm. What do you think?”
I deliberately shifted the topic playfully. He seemed to notice and gently held my hand.
“From what you’ve said, I don’t think I’ve avoided that experience. Still, I want to ensure it never happens to you again.”
His hands were gentle, like touching fragile porcelain. I held his hand without realizing it. Perhaps it was the steady rain outside that calmed my heart.
Normally, I wouldn’t have done this. But the warmth through his fingertips made me not want to let go.
The sky was dark and damp. I hoped the sun would come out soon… to stop me from acting strangely.
“Eyzar… you’re someone who doesn’t neglect those you care about. I didn’t expect such kindness from you. Thank you.”
He seemed to want to say more, but nodded. I held his hand as the rain pattered sharply on the roof.
When I stayed silent, staring out the window, he spoke first.
“Wife, do you like rainy days?”
I shook my head, feeling a flutter in my chest.
“It’s just a habit. Actually… I hate rainy days.”
I hated rainy days. The world is dark, the room damp, and no one is there to comfort you, even if thunder strikes fiercely.
I’m not someone who’s afraid of thunder, but childhood memories influenced me.
A fragment of memory from when I was little, and the Orbetian count’s household avoided me.
After the Countess passed away, the family locked themselves away in sorrow. Even if little Julietta tried to visit, they refused her.
Perhaps, in that long, seemingly endless period, it rained heavily one day.
The nanny was busy with other work, and thunder clashed violently in the dark rain.
Young Julietta was terrified.
Alone in the empty room, she tried to go to her father and brother, who had always been kind to her. Maybe then she could escape the fear.
But no one opened the door. The family, grieving the loss of the beloved Countess, didn’t notice the small child.
Perhaps they even blamed Julietta for the death. Their behavior influenced the servants, even if briefly.
Julietta reached out, but everyone turned away, claiming they were busy.
She realized that no one would comfort her. Alone, hugging the doll her mother had given her, she listened to the thunder, and spent the night crying.
The memory was painfully sad and lonely. Even though the emotions weren’t truly mine, I hated rainy days. And being alone on such days was unbearable.
“Actually, there was a day in my childhood when it rained terribly.”
Could I tell Eyzar this? It wasn’t truly my story. But my mouth spoke freely, recounting young Julietta’s memory.
Perhaps someone wished to comfort that little girl.
Alone in the world, heart aching, crying until the tears pooled like rain… If someone could understand even a little, it would help.
Then, Eyzar pulled me into his arms. I felt his hand gently brush along my back.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there, wife. You must have been so lonely and scared, wanting someone to comfort you.”
I should have told him it wasn’t necessary. I should have pulled away from him, but my body didn’t obey. Maybe the gloomy sky, maybe the falling rain…
“…I’m right here. How could I have known you wanted to say nothing?”
“Yes. I still have much to learn about you, wife. So… lean on me during times like this. Tell me anything. I’m your husband, after all.”
That little girl must have wanted such comfort. If someone had offered a warm word back then, she wouldn’t have gone mad loving someone who didn’t love her.
Even at the moment when she felt her fever burn and sought her absent father, she wouldn’t have closed her eyes in despair.
Even I, in this body, felt sorrowful seeing the Count’s departing back after just hearing the child’s condition from the physician.
“So… may I stay a little longer in your arms?”
