Chapter 01
Come to think of it, you were cold until the day I died.
I stood a few steps away, staring at my husband with dry eyes.
It was an evening of relentless, pouring rain.
My husband, Duke Claude, was speaking with the butler at the mansion’s entrance.
“Your Grace, the weather is far too harsh right now.”
“Would it not be better to depart early tomorrow morning?”
“I have an important schedule tomorrow.”
“You know that.”
“But…”
“If not today, I won’t have the time.”
“So make haste.”
The butler stepped back with a troubled expression.
As always, Claude was the one who won.
When the conversation ended, he turned to look at me.
As if to say that his words about having no time applied to me as well.
His gaze was piercingly cold.
Yes, of course.
This forced marriage had driven you into hell, and I had spent the entire time feeling as though I were walking on thin ice.
It was a marriage ordered by his father, the former Duke of Cassel.
After a long, exhausting stretch of time, today was the last day between us.
I was an abandoned illegitimate princess of the imperial family, and now that the marriage was over, it was time for me to return to the castle where I originally stayed.
Perhaps… you don’t want to spend even a single moment more with me.
A bitter smile formed inwardly.
It was a marriage you never wanted, so I could understand.
As I took a step forward, Claude opened the door and walked out of the mansion without waiting for me.
The moment we stepped outside, the roaring rain swallowed the world whole.
The servants hurried over and held umbrellas over both of us.
I walked while looking only at Claude’s back the entire time.
Even beneath the black umbrella, faint glimpses of his jet-black hair were damp with moisture.
His broad back, clad in a structured uniform, felt distant and immense.
At some point, he had always shown me only his back.
Within this now-familiar composition, I dragged my heavy steps forward.
What are you thinking right now?
Even knowing it was meaningless, I found myself wondering.
Did the end of this tedious marriage feel refreshing to you?
Or was this, too, nothing more than one of your simple, routine tasks?
It must be the latter.
I concluded so.
He was always a man who was ruthlessly businesslike and mechanical.
So this would pass like the wind, without holding any real meaning.
We crossed the rain-soaked garden and stopped in front of the carriage.
I hesitated and turned to look back.
The grand mansion was obscured by pale mist.
To think this was my last day in this place.
My feet would not move easily.
Because, in truth, I had not disliked this marriage.
It was far freer than the imperial palace where I was born and raised.
There was no one who mocked me to my face for being an illegitimate princess, nor anyone who hurled barbed words at me.
Although Claude had been cold ever since that day, at the very least, he treated me as a human being.
The butler and the servants of the ducal estate all treated me as their mistress as well, and most of all…
“Aren’t you getting in?”
At my husband’s voice, I hurriedly turned back around.
Our eyes met—his cold, water-like gaze locking with mine.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“Please, get in first.”
“Yes.”
Claude extended his hand dryly.
I answered in a small voice and took it.
My skirt, already soaked by the fierce wind, clung to my legs.
It had been a long time since I last held his hand.
Just like before, it was large and firm.
And endlessly cold.
I lowered my head.
More than anything…
Ridiculously enough, I had come to love him.
Though I kept that feeling an absolute secret.
A sense of self-mockery washed over me.
During the first year of our marriage, Claude had pretended to love me for the sake of appearances and to deceive his father.
But his father, the former Duke of Cassel, died suddenly in an accident.
And from that day on, Claude changed.
The kindness and affection he once showed—
Now that I think about it, it had all been nothing but an act.
Even so, it was the first affection I had ever received in my life.
I couldn’t let it go.
I couldn’t.
Claude tightened his grip on my hand.
As we boarded the carriage, neither of us looked at each other.
The rain continued to pour heavily, drumming loudly against the umbrella.
I carefully took a seat inside.
Claude followed and sat across from me.
With the butler’s polite farewell, the door soon closed.
Claude brushed the moisture off his shoulders and removed his soaked gloves, placing them into his inner pocket.
I silently watched his series of actions.
The carriage began to move, cutting through the storm.
Rattle, rattle—the dull sound filled the space.
He kept his gaze fixed outside the window.
As if handling a tedious task, he rested his chin on his hand.
I followed his gaze and looked beyond the glass.
The scenery outside was too dark from the heavy rain to see anything.
Only the raindrops pounding against the window felt like the entirety of the world.
“We likely won’t see each other again.”
He suddenly spoke as if to himself.
I turned my gaze back to Claude.
As expected, there wasn’t the slightest hint of regret on his face.
“I will proceed with the divorce process as soon as you arrive at the imperial palace.”
“…I see.”
Silence fell once more.
The word divorce struck deeply into my heart.
To Claude, this marriage must have been nothing more than a fleeting storm in his busy and brilliant life.
Unlike me, he would now return to his everyday life.
Everyday life…
A life where I do not exist—that must be his normal.
I suppressed the sorrow rising within me.
I would have to get used to it now.
Still, there was something I wanted to say to him.
Throughout my stay at the mansion, I had been a quiet person…
But since this was the last day, I wanted to gather the courage.
After hesitating several times in the silence, I parted my lips.
“My lady.”
Our voices overlapped.
Startled, I quickly added,
“Please, you speak first.”
“No, my lady, you go ahead.”
His tone remained as cold as ever.
Unable to go against him, I spoke as if muttering to myself.
“…Thank you for treating me well all this time.”
Claude looked at me with a puzzled expression.
I kept my eyes lowered as I continued speaking.
“From now on, Your Grace…”
“I hope you meet a woman you truly love and live happily.”
Though my voice was small, it was sincere.
Claude, who had been resting his chin on his hand, lowered it and furrowed his brows.
Crash!
At that moment, the carriage tilted violently to the side with a powerful impact.
Claude quickly grabbed the handle, but my body was thrown into the air.
A horrifying, unfamiliar roar of a monster echoed from outside.
But before I could even think, my body was slammed around inside the carriage.
Excruciating pain consumed my entire body.
A groan escaped my lips, but it was swallowed by the sound of the rain.
“Diana!”
Claude’s urgent voice rang out.
The carriage bounced once, then rolled violently again.
Then, a familiar embrace surrounded me.
Claude had thrown himself toward me and pulled me into his arms.
It felt as though the carriage was plunging down a steep cliff.
Claude tightened his hold, as if trying to absorb all the impact meant for me.
Why would you…?!
Even in my dazed state, confusion arose.
But I instinctively knew.
We were going to die.
There was a scent I always noticed whenever I was in his arms.
Warm like a forest, yet cool like the sea—
A scent that only Claude possessed.
It’s been so long since I’ve been held in your arms like this.
I had often wondered why I came to love you.
The reason was nothing special.
Your fake kindness had simply been too warm.
For the first time, I thought I had found a true family.
In my colorless life, I felt a faint hope that perhaps stars might shine.
So even after I learned that this marriage had an end, I always lingered behind you.
Like your shadow, like waves embracing fallen petals, like the wind brushing across a desert—
Just like that.
After realizing how much you hated this marriage, I understood you all too well.
That was why I could never let my pathetic feelings be discovered.
So I only watched you from afar, holding my breath.
And yet, it’s strange.
Come to think of it, on the day I died—
You called out to me so desperately,
And held me tightly.
As if it didn’t matter if you died in my place.
With my entire body shattering in pain,
I met my death.
Perhaps thinking…
That this was the moment I had always longed for.
