Chapter 8
So, forgetting all about the danger, I ran down and threw myself into his arms, hugging him tightly. As if he had expected my action, he caught me easily and turned his body, leaning his shoulder against the wall to steady himself.
“If you keep doing that, you’ll fall over, Ruesha.”
He let out a small laugh and pulled me even closer. I had missed this firm embrace. His gentle voice. Even the sweet, cool scent that lingered in his arms.
“This isn’t a dream, right? You really, really came back, right?”
“I can’t guarantee that. I’m not even sure myself whether this is a dream or reality.”
He was here. Really here—not a phantom that would disappear if I touched him like in a dream.
It felt as if the painful time I had endured while desperately waiting for him was being repaid with just this one embrace. I didn’t need anything else. I felt a little guilty toward my family, but I had never worried about anyone this much in my life before. Even hearing that my sisters were safe had never made my heart race with such joy.
“Then why did you come out to the balcony while you were sleeping?”
“My heart must have told me you were coming. I just… couldn’t sleep today. I missed you so much.”
I rubbed my cheek against his chest, then suddenly snapped back to my senses, worried someone might see us like this. I had never even hugged my father like this before. If the servants or knights saw me clinging to Ash like this, they might start gossiping.
“Hmm, Ash. Let’s go upstairs first. I have something I want to show you.”
Ash glanced around cautiously and quietly followed me up to the second floor. We quickly returned to my room, and the moment we entered, I hugged him again.
“How did things go? Did you finish everything well?”
I looked up at him, still unable to believe he was really here, afraid he might vanish like a dream again.
As if understanding my feelings, he smiled gently and kissed my forehead.
“I was in a hurry. I wanted to return quickly, but finding a new owner for the ranch took longer than expected. And you—have you been well?”
“Yes. Very well. Except for missing you. Ah, I even redecorated the room. I also prepared a separate room for you in case you stayed here.”
“I don’t think I need a separate room. Can’t we just share one?”
“Ah, th-that is…”
My heart, already unsettled, began racing again. He had never said things like that before he left, so hearing it so boldly left me flustered.
I had only hoped for it. I won’t deny that I wanted him to show affection when he returned, since he had confessed his feelings before leaving.
But actually hearing it in reality left me dazed.
“Ruesha?”
“E-even so, just in case, you should have a room. Even if you sneak into mine… ahem, the bedroom will be warm every night.”
I nodded firmly, smiling shyly. I didn’t want to say no, and if I did, I might end up missing him every night again.
Honestly, I hated being apart. I had already spent four months without him. I no longer even remembered how I lived before meeting him—he had become such a huge part of my life.
My mother once said that even in an arranged marriage, she learned what love was after meeting my father. If you meet someone who makes your heart warm just by seeing them, you should hold onto them without hesitation. Of course, if the other person refuses, it would become a painful love.
But he said he loved me, so I believed without doubt that he felt the same.
“Do you remember what you told me before you left?”
“Of course. I came back alive from that hell to take responsibility for my words. I will never leave you again.”
His answer was more than satisfying. His clear light brown eyes looked straight at me, unchanged.
Smiling softly, he gently cupped my cheeks. The warmth of his hands sank into my skin, making it feel hot.
“I missed you, Ruesha.”
At those words, my eyes grew hot with tears. Maybe it was because I finally confirmed I wasn’t the only one who had suffered. Or maybe all the emotions I had suppressed simply burst at once.
The kiss that followed naturally was, honestly, a little salty. It was embarrassing that my first beautiful kiss with him became a memory mixed with tears—but only for a moment.
Because I quickly became lost in his tender affection.
As his thick tongue gently parted my tear-moistened lips, a dizzy sensation made my waist tremble. The subtle stimulation of his tongue brushing the roof of my mouth made me want to laugh from the ticklish sensation. My breathing broke apart, turning into rough gasps instead.
“Ha… mm…”
From that moment on, my mistaken belief that a kiss would only bring gentle pleasure shattered completely.
His tongue moved freely inside my mouth, hot and overwhelming, as if swallowing me whole. It felt like sinking into warm water for too long and becoming dizzy.
Every touch against my sensitive inner flesh sent a shivering pleasure through me. His heated breath surrounded me, intoxicating me as if I might lose myself in it. His scent felt like pheromones released by a male to lure a female, awakening every nerve in my body that had been asleep.
As my uncertain tongue wandered, his wrapped around it gently, sending another jolt of electricity through me.
“Ah…!”
His large hands stroked my body as if caressing it, while the kiss continued without pause. Even just that touch alone made heat gather in my lower abdomen, spreading warmth throughout my body.
So this is what it feels like… when someone you love touches you.
It was completely different from when I touched myself. Every nerve was sharpened, trembling with sensation.
“Ruesha.”
When he finally pulled away and called my name, I could barely focus. I struggled to steady my breathing and keep my vision from blurring.
“I have nowhere else to go now except where you are. I’ve cut everything off… I’m practically a man with nothing left.”
“Is there… a problem?”
Worry clouded his face. Was he afraid I would abandon him because he returned with nothing?
If so, I would scold him for such a foolish thought. I hadn’t given him my heart because of wealth.
“I only have myself to give you. Even so… will you marry me?”
“Isn’t that obvious? I don’t care even if you have nothing. From the very beginning.”
At my firm answer, his worried expression disappeared completely. The look of overwhelming joy on his face was so lovely.
“Then from now on, I belong only to you. From a single strand of my hair to my blood, flesh, bones, and heart—everything.”
A small flame of desire flickered in his clear light brown eyes. It felt dangerous somehow, as if I might burn if I touched it carelessly—but at the same time, it thrilled me.
Because that feeling was love directed entirely at me.
“And… from now on, I will have everything of yours. Do I have your permission?”
“You can have me, Ash. I give you everything.”
There was no reason to hesitate. His low voice sent shivers through me, and being bound by his unwavering gaze filled me with indescribable ecstasy.
Satisfied with my answer, he smiled and buried his lips against my neck. My skin, already sensitive from earlier kisses and touches, reacted with an unbearable sensation that made my waist twist on its own.
He moved slowly from my neck to my shoulder, licking and teasing the skin with a damp tongue.
As he loosened the ribbon of my nightgown, it slipped down helplessly, brushing my arms and chest before falling to the floor. Then he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and removed it.
“Ash…”
The heat between our bodies as our skin touched felt almost unreal. I had thought I had become somewhat familiar with his body while tending to him when he was bedridden—but I was wrong.
When desire takes over, even the simple touch of skin becomes electrifying.
His slightly grown grayish hair brushed against my skin, sending unfamiliar sensations across my body in an instant.
My legs weakened as the strange sensation took over my mind. He easily lifted me and carried me toward the bedroom. I closed my eyes tightly, biting my lip, swallowing back any sound that threatened to escape.
“That pretty mouth might get ruined.”
He laid me carefully on the bed, as if afraid I might break, then climbed over me. His hand traced my waist, then wandered toward my hips.
I wanted to respond, but my throat was already filled with small gasps instead of words.
“You are more beautiful than I imagined. Like a graceful flower carrying a rich, fragrant scent.”
It was a compliment—but such an embarrassing one that I felt flustered. No one had ever said my body was beautiful before.
I wasn’t particularly well-endowed, so I always had to gather everything I had just to fill out a ballroom dress. Unlike my sisters, I was quite slim, taking after my father. Because of that, fashionable dresses were sometimes difficult to wear.
Even I hadn’t loved my own body like this—but the affection in his gaze made me feel strange.
If my own man called me beautiful… wasn’t that enough?
