Chapter 17
‘But the original story is already ruined now.’
Was worrying pointless? Three character deviations, one likely character deviation, no—one wyrm.
I let out a light sigh, feeling a headache throb that hadn’t been there before.
“…Gwen, let’s head back.”
The gaze of those around us was becoming overwhelming. As I spoke, Gwen lifted his arm to shield the others’ eyes with his cloak.
“Right.”
Surprised by the small gesture, I looked up at him. His cheeks were faintly flushed, and he quickly averted his gaze.
Thanks to that simple act of consideration, we made it back to the carriage. Once the doors closed and the curtains were drawn, I finally let out a breath of relief.
“Phew…”
“You were surprised to meet the Crown Prince, weren’t you?”
“It was an unexpected encounter.”
…And I didn’t expect Shurandis to respond so favorably either.
In the original story, Shurandis was supposed to be indifferent to others but kind only to his own woman.
“I was surprised because the Crown Prince I’d heard about in rumors was a little… different.”
Gwen’s eyes narrowed slightly.
“…I didn’t expect him to say that either.”
He was trying to maintain his composure, but his voice betrayed a hint of embarrassment.
“Even so, I haven’t had much chance to meet the Crown Prince directly, so I’m not in a position to comment.”
“…Is that so?”
“Your Highness has stayed only in the Southern Duchy after awakening as a wyrm.”
Even as he spoke, Gwen frowned as if unable to fully comprehend the situation.
“…I’m sorry. I should have told you that the Crown Prince was staying in the capital. Our rare outing ended up wasted.”
A tinge of guilt appeared on Gwen’s face. Clumsy, but the sincerity was unmistakable.
“Brother.”
“I’ll return to the mansion immediately since you wish it… but if anything comes to mind at any time, just say it. I’ll do anything.”
Just like twins, Gwen and Russell spoke in the same pattern. They would do anything.
‘Perhaps it’s just their awkward way of apologizing.’
I hated myself for calmly making such an assessment. Was I slowly adapting to this deviation?
‘Insane… I’m adapting?!’
No matter how adaptable humans are, I need time! I’m still not used to this! Even today’s whirlwind of events shouldn’t make me adapt so easily!
Was it just my imagination, or did events seem to follow me like the protagonist of a novel? It had to be a delusion!
I just want to quietly disappear from the long-vanished original story and live a carefree life!
‘No, even if the original is ruined beyond repair, there’s still a chance.’
The Awakening Ceremony at nineteen. Somehow, I have to stand out among the nobles gathered before the ritual. Becoming a priest would be ideal, but…
“Was there a special reason you wanted to visit the temple today?”
I looked at Gwen, puzzled by his question. He hesitated for a moment but didn’t stop speaking.
“This is the first time I’ve heard you wanted to go to the temple… If there’s something you need, I’ll get it for you.”
If it were truly necessary, he seemed ready to jump out of the carriage. I suppressed a startled gasp.
“Since we’re already out, I wanted to visit the temple. As you said, I’ve never been there before.”
At that moment, the contents of my journal came to mind. People remember unpleasant things for a long time—it was true.
“No, it’s just… since Mother left for her retreat, I haven’t gone on outings like this. Honestly, I didn’t care where we went.”
A casual remark. Gwen’s face twitched slightly, like a frog hit by a pebble, but the reaction wasn’t dramatic.
Yet beyond his calm expression, I thought I saw a flicker of regret in his eyes, and it left a strangely complex feeling in me.
‘For now, the sense of satisfaction outweighs it.’
Still, technically, he hadn’t done anything cruel directly to me, so was it really okay to prod at him like this?
But remembering how this guy caused deviations and gave me mental trauma, any sense of guilt vanished.
‘So that’s why they say don’t live committing sins.’
How could someone be so mentally affected by every word I said, struggling to hide his expression? At this point, it almost felt pitiful. Well, if this were a story about regret, maybe it wouldn’t even count.
“…From now on, I’ll take you wherever you want.”
“That’s alright, Gwen.”
Do you want me to go through another day like today? Suffocating situations are not for me.
‘And if I wander around with him, he might discover my intentions… better be careful.’
Whether Gwen would support or oppose my actions was uncertain, so I had to tread carefully.
“You’re the Captain of the Royal Guard, Gwen. It’s not easy to take this kind of time out.”
“That’s none of your concern.”
He continued, sending a gaze full of earnestness.
“I’m just spending time for my younger sister. I have to make up for what I haven’t been able to until now.”
His words carried a sense of resolve. I sighed lightly and turned my gaze.
It hurt to speak any further here. Though his resolve was strong, there was nothing I could say to undermine his determination to make amends.
‘He’s determined.’
Even if my heart burned, he wouldn’t falter. No wonder he could secure a place, whether as the main male lead or supporting.
I admired him. And the more I admired, the more frustrated I became.
‘If you guys had treated Erina properly, I wouldn’t have had to possess her!’
Just thinking it made my blood boil. Calm down. Complaining wouldn’t change anything.
“Don’t overdo it.”
So I said it casually. Gwen’s eyes widened, as if surprised that I spoke at all.
“Suddenly, a void appears… but Mother is enough already.”
After saying that, I closed my eyes. I didn’t even need to watch Gwen’s reaction—I could guess.
Until we returned to the mansion, Gwen kept a silent sigh as he watched Erina close her eyes, as if refusing to converse further.
Erina’s words struck him sharply. If they had been complaints, perhaps it wouldn’t have hurt so much. But she spoke without resentment.
Her calm, slightly wistful tone hurt him because it reflected his irretrievable past mistakes.
‘Come to think of it…’
He had never gone on an outing with Erina. Aside from obligatory noble gatherings, they’d never spent personal time together.
A pang hit Gwen’s chest. He realized too late what it meant.
When he was young, his mother had been healthy. Warm, kind, laughing, calling him her son—her love made his childhood comfortable.
He hadn’t understood it intellectually at the time, but in hindsight, that warmth had made his childhood… happy.
But what about Erina?
He couldn’t recall. Their age gap was significant, and when he was old enough to understand, their mother had gone to her retreat.
To manage their mother’s treatment, no one could replace their father at the time. So after Mother collapsed, he was always busy.
Duke family matters, taxes from the territories, administrative work, and responsibilities as a member of the Royal Guard—he had no time for a young sibling.
Gwen was overwhelmed. Taking care of a youngest sibling in such circumstances was nearly impossible.
The only person scrambling to fill in for their parents was a fifteen-year-old boy. That’s why…
Sometimes, even seeing her round, cute face was irritating, and he wished she wouldn’t seek him out.
Because he was busy. He had too much on his shoulders to handle a small child’s requests.
That’s why, at times, he thought life would be easier without her. The young Gwen was pushed to his limits.
‘How foolish.’
When he had been so busy, what was Erina doing alone?
While he was occupied, and Russell was studying magic to hone his skills…
At an age where she would have felt their mother’s warmth, what was Erina feeling alone?
Gwen watched Erina, now a seventeen-year-old girl, as she leaned back in the carriage with her eyes closed. The seven-year-old child had grown into a young woman.
Even with the elegant lines replacing baby fat, why did she still look like a child in his eyes?
Why did she still seem frozen in that past, a lost child wandering?
Gwen clenched his fists tightly. Regret surged.
Perhaps, because he had been busy, he had stolen from his sister the chance to experience something precious.
Or maybe even more than that.
What he had vaguely realized became real, leaping forward in front of him.
Baring sharp teeth, opening a massive maw that seemed ready to devour him, dripping saliva—it was Gwen himself.
His selfish past, wishing his youngest sibling would disappear because she was a nuisance, irretrievable.
