002. Baby Nadia
The downfall of the Renart Count family unfolded like this.
Count Renart, devastated by the loss of his daughter, lost all sense of reason and poured his grievances out to the Emperor. The Emperor, who was similarly grieving over the loss of his beloved wife and child, could not tolerate such audacity. Enraged, he imprisoned the Count.
Inside the prison, Count Renart lost his mind, and with his title revoked, the family was stripped of their lands and capital estate. Homeless and scattered, they were forced to separate.
His son, Liam, was sent to the military frontier, while the youngest daughter, Nadia, was sent to a convent…
“I’m so sensitive to the cold! How am I supposed to live in a convent forever?”
I buried my face in my hands and screamed.
Why did my spirit have to possess her? It could have been anyone—the main heroine or anyone who could live out their life safely in the story. Why me?
“No, this can’t be happening.”
I shook my head violently, denying reality.
Maybe if I fall asleep, I’ll go back.
No, even if I do, will that be okay?
Torn between thoughts, I closed my eyes and prayed—prayed over and over—that my soul would be returned to nothingness. Eventually, I fell asleep.
It was my mother’s suggestion that made me decide to open my own pharmacy in a new commercial district near our home.
“Why don’t you stop living with us and start something of your own? You’ll earn much more than working under someone else.”
Everything I had earned until then had gone toward living expenses and my younger sibling’s tuition, leaving little extra money.
I had to borrow from here and there, but I forced myself to suppress the unease and imagined a bright future.
“If word gets out that my medicine works as well as it did in the countryside pharmacy, maybe I could hit the jackpot?”
And yet…
There was a fire in the commercial building.
It happened while I was briefly away at a convenience store, and I couldn’t believe it. I just stood there in shock.
The boxes that had been stacked after arranging the medicines fueled the flames, which leapt high into the air.
–Fire insurance? Oh, yes, I need that. But I was too busy… I planned to look into it slowly after opening the pharmacy.
Just a few hours ago, the conversation with my colleague echoed in my mind.
Back then, I was only thinking about finishing the preparations quickly so that I could start business the next day. Naturally, taking out fire insurance was postponed.
Could that have been my last chance?
“There should be a fire extinguisher inside… I hope there is…”
Almost hypnotized, I moved toward the building. Through the flames, a path still remained.
“Hey! You can’t go in there!”
Someone shouted from behind, but the sound was drowned out by the searing heat that soon engulfed my face.
“The fire’s too big… Should I grab the controlled substances first? No, maybe the expensive medicines? What about the computer? I can’t move the ATC alone…”
Once I entered, my mind went completely blank. Rational thought was impossible.
I wandered inside the smoke-filled pharmacy, panic-stricken, before finally coming to a halt.
Tears ran down my cheeks, and my face felt hot. Every breath I drew burned my throat.
“What should I do…? It’s all loans… Oh no, this is happening before I even start…”
Breathless, I eventually collapsed to the floor, my head resting on the ground as dizziness overtook me.
Through the thick black smoke, I vaguely heard sirens approaching.
“Will I survive?”
No, truthfully, I didn’t even want to survive.
I was exhausted.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I wanted to give you a good life…”
My eyelids grew heavy.
As I closed them slowly, the tears streaming down my cheeks no longer felt hot.
‘I should have taken out fire insurance instead of reading web novels yesterday…’
The thought of regretting just reading a web novel at the last moment made me smirk.
My life… really hadn’t amounted to much.
But it had felt so long.
Can I finally be at peace now, Dad…?
Consciousness began to fade.
When I opened my eyes with a sudden jolt, a warm tear rolled down and soaked the pillowcase.
“Yes… that’s right. I struggled my whole life and eventually died just like that.”
I lay there for a long time, silently letting the tears flow.
It wasn’t until the dark room was brightly illuminated that I could finally regain my senses.
The past had already happened. Crying about it now wouldn’t change anything.
I wiped my tears and pulled myself together.
“So, that means the events in the novel weren’t a dream, huh? No use talking about it…”
Grumbling to myself, I got up. My body felt incredibly light.
Even though I had been in my thirties in my previous life, the long years of hardship had left my body perpetually heavy. The vigor of youth now felt almost unfamiliar.
While working at the pharmacy, I had never once bought good medicine for myself. I had survived only by relying on my youth, unaware that even youth could not endure endless hardship.
“Hmph, not bad.”
I leapt out of bed and tested my body, full of energy like a young child.
‘Alright. The day has begun, so let’s live through it. A path will appear if I keep moving.’
Feeling the lightness of my body and a surge of positivity, I resolved to navigate this unfamiliar world as best I could.
‘For now, I need to understand my surroundings. I should blend in without raising suspicion…’
Thinking about how to proceed, I glanced at the mirror by my wardrobe.
In the reflection stood a little girl, around three or four years old.
Her face was the size of a fist, with delicate, perfectly proportioned features. Every part of her face was flawless.
Her blue eyes, reminiscent of a lake, reminded me of a man I had met yesterday. Below them sat a tiny nose and full, rosy lips.
Her long, glossy blonde hair swayed beautifully with every movement.
Her soft peach-colored skin begged to be touched, and her chubby cheeks and small hands and feet maximized her cuteness.
“She’s so cute! This adorable baby is me?”
I clasped my tiny cheeks with both hands and screamed in delight.
She had the kind of cuteness that could easily earn a Silver Play Button on YouTube.
I continued marveling at her soft, chubby cheeks, when someone knocked on the door.
“Little Miss, I’m here to help you get ready.”
“Uh…?”
Startled, I could only make baby-like sounds. The knocking came again.
“Miss? It’s your nanny. May I come in?”
“Oh… ohhh…!”
I panicked, babbling incomprehensibly. I had no idea who this nanny was or how to act, and yet the door opened.
A middle-aged woman entered, pushing a trolley with washwater and towels, and froze when our eyes met.
“Little Miss! How long have you been awake? You should have called me! Did you climb out of bed all by yourself?”
I processed the information: this warm-looking woman was the nanny for the Renart children.
I noticed a bell by the bed and debated what to say, but in the end, I just blurted out:
“I’m awake now!”
Smiling innocently, of course.
Young children tend to say anything, after all.
I recalled a friend’s son at this age—he seemed to understand perfectly one moment and spoke nonsense the next. I had acted similarly.
Fortunately, the nanny didn’t seem to find anything unusual and simply draped a towel around my neck.
She cleaned my face with warm water, wiping away the dried tears, and asked gently:
“Miss, did you cry last night?”
“Uh… scary dream…”
“Oh dear, our little Miss. That’s why you woke up early. Shall I take you to see Master?”
I nodded quickly, eager to meet the family members.
“Then let’s wash up quickly and go together. Now, blow your nose—snort!”
“H-huh?”
“Harder, snort!”
“Sn-uh!”
I was embarrassed by the sudden nose-blowing, but the nanny insisted, as if polishing the nostrils with her instructions.
‘How old am I, and someone else is blowing my nose?’
I sighed inwardly but soon gave in to the nanny’s gentle care.
She meticulously washed every corner of my face, patted it dry with a towel, and applied a generous layer of soft lotion.
As I closed my eyes and let her hands care for me, a thought occurred:
‘This feels… nice.’
I had often joked when seeing friends’ babies: “You’re lucky—they feed you, dress you, bathe you. How easy.”
And now, I had reached the age where I needed such care. I almost wished I hadn’t possessed a slightly older child.
The nanny tilted her head and spoke again.
“Little Miss, you seem a bit… unusual today.”
“Huh…?”
I tensed, waiting for her next words.
