Chapter 198 …
“What’s wrong with sleeping outside? I’ve slept in proper beds less often than this.”
“That was back in the Ashes Era. Right now, you’re not a soldier rolling around on the battlefield—you’re a delicate noble lady.”
The blue-haired boy furrowed his brows and replied, letting out a deep sigh as he spread a sleeping bag by the campfire.
“If you sleep out here, you might catch a cold… Sera told me to take good care of you since your body is as fragile as paper right now.”
“You’re exaggerating. I’ll be fine.”
Lillietta forced a wry smile and added:
“Besides, I was the one who rushed you. You wanted to sleep at the inn down the mountain.”
“If I’d known we’d end up camping at the summit, I wouldn’t have listened even if you had insisted. And, ugh, we ran into a pack of monsters at the worst time.”
Listening quietly to Luca’s grumbling, Rita asked:
“Luca, didn’t you say this path hardly ever sees monsters?”
“Yes. It’s a road people use, so our family regularly clears it. We even set up devices to block monsters. Normally, they don’t appear. If they do, maybe just one or two.”
“And yet, so many monsters popped up here… Could this be a sign of a major riot?”
“N-no way. It’s true that the beasts appeared way earlier than history predicted, but that’s Pascal’s doing. There’s no sign of magical corruption yet, right? The sun’s fine…”
Lucas asked fearfully, and Lillietta, resting her chin on her hand, answered dryly:
“It might not be magical corruption—it could be Gide.”
“Huh? Because of Gide? Why?”
“If a named-level beast suddenly stirs up the Black Forest, wouldn’t startled monsters all come running out?”
“Ugh…”
The boy shivered and swallowed hard.
“B-but we don’t even know if Gide actually went into the Black Forest. Well, technically, in this direction, there’s only the Black Forest…”
Indeed.
They had no idea where Gide was heading, or where he was now.
But because a black dragon flying across the sky is hard to miss, Beacon could roughly trace its path using eyewitness reports collected through its networks.
The black dragon departed from Ramcard and crossed the northern empire. The last report came from a hunter in the White Mountains, in the Winterfield territory.
From this, Beacon estimated it was highly likely that Gide was now in the Black Forest. Olivia added her own speculation.
“He probably thought he needed to stay as far away from people as possible while he still had his senses.”
Rita agreed.
If he judged that he might soon lose control and rampage, the Black Forest was the best choice—there were only monsters there.
That was why she was heading to Winterfield territory with Luca.
Convincing worried family members, bearing the expectations of her companions.
Riding a massive beast was much faster than traveling by carriage or horse, so they minimized their baggage and traveled alone.
“And, sister, if that really happened, the envoy would have left from the territory. Coming this very path. Then we’d have met them already!”
“Well… maybe the envoy is only just coming this way now.”
“Huh?”
Startled, Lucas stared at the narrow mountain path with his blue eyes, as if an urgent messenger might leap out at any moment.
They watched for a while, but the darkened path remained unchanged.
He slumped his tense shoulders and looked back at Lillietta. She was smiling softly.
“It’s fine, Luca. I don’t sense anyone nearby yet.”
“Ah… sis, you’re really—ah, you were teasing me, weren’t you?”
Earlier, she had genuinely considered the possibilities, but while Lucas stared at the path with wide eyes, keeping his mouth shut, she was teasing him.
As in the Ashes Era, teasing Beacon’s youngest was remarkably effective at easing tension.
Rita smiled, running her fingers through the boy’s pouty hair.
“I just meant don’t let your guard down. Now, let’s sleep. You must be exhausted from running through the mountains all day.”
“…Sis, don’t smile like that.”
“Hm?”
“I know it’s you, Rita, but it still feels strange. It’s bad for my heart.”
“Oh, our youngest likes this kind of face?”
“Ah!”
She playfully leaned in, and Luca turned bright red, screaming and scrambling backward.
“Ah, G-G-Gide! I’m innocent! I didn’t have any impure thoughts! Actually, your face isn’t my type! I just turned red from surprise!”
Spewing what sounded like a confession or an excuse into the air, he dove into his sleeping bag and buried his head.
Rita laughed in disbelief and suddenly looked up at the starry sky. Then she spoke casually.
“Luca, do you think we can meet Gide again?”
“Huh? Why do you even ask something so obvious?”
A yawn came from the sleeping bag. His blue hair moved as a mumbling voice followed:
“You’re invincible when Gide’s in front of you. He’ll somehow regain control of his mind if he sees you… so there’s nothing to worry about…”
His voice grew slower until he was breathing evenly.
Even for Luca, whose stamina and endurance were exceptional for an enhanced pledger, repeatedly running while in beast form carrying her for several days would have been exhausting.
Lillietta tidied up the boy’s sleeping bag, then sat on her own, hugging her knees.
Her body, not yet fully conditioned, was weary from the long journey, yet sleep did not come.
Everyone trusts me.
Everyone believed she would somehow manage, that she would return Gide to normal by any means necessary.
She herself had no certainty.
Could she save Gide?
Even if she tried, was she allowed to?
I’ve already killed countless people turned into beasts. The idea that Gide would be an exception is just wishful thinking. The more I think logically…
Olivia’s calm words echoed again in her ears:
“But no matter what, you can’t be completely rational, can you? It’s Gide.”
Questions she had asked herself in confusion resurfaced.
Accept that he’s dead and live on. That’s the best, the right thing to do.
After all, your feelings weren’t that deep before, so it’s okay, right?
Yet still…
Why?
Why can’t she give him up?
Because everything would fall apart without Gide?
As Olivia explained, the survival of Beacon, the empire, and even humanity required the great Emperor Gideon.
Rita recalled how she had felt when she heard that explanation.
Relief.
It felt like being pulled suddenly to the surface after being submerged in water that you couldn’t breathe in.
Why?
Because her desire to save Gide was the path that helped everyone.
It wasn’t foolish or selfish; it was rational and necessary. She didn’t need to make excuses.
It felt like permission to try to save him, like a reason to do her best.
So Olly was right. I don’t need a reason. I just… want Gide…
She held her left hand up in front of her.
She remembered him holding this hand and kissing it. The boy from long ago, holding her hand.
The moment he calmly persuaded her while grasping this hand. The music box he held resting on his shoulder. The ugly cream puff she had held in this hand. His trembling hand as it clutched hers.
Him crouched before the stars. His gaze staring into the void. The expression as he aimed a gun at his own head. His scattered corpses. His voice calling her a curse.
Struggling to form a smile, she remembered the question he had asked:
“Can’t you forget?”
And his answer to it:
“Yes… it can’t be undone.”
“Even if it could be… it shouldn’t.”
Lillietta clenched her left hand.
She swallowed the moments that had surfaced like bubbles back under the water. She calmed the anxiety and conflict that surged like waves.
What remained in the end?
A clean, sincere truth reflected on the now-calm surface:
She didn’t want to give him up.
Yes… I don’t know the reason. I can’t explain it.
Some reasons cannot be explained, and that makes them all the more desperate.
