Chapter 178…………………………………………..
Late at night, I opened my eyes and quietly checked the presence of others in the darkness.
Lucy, curled up on the table, was breathing steadily, and the parrot lying next to her was motionless, as if dead.
Kais had said that when he slept, the connection between his projection and his real body was partially severed.
The only ones awake were me and Terence, who occasionally shifted beside me in bed.
Seeing Terence looking rather uncomfortable (?) sleeping in the same bed as me made me feel slightly guilty.
“Was that too much?”
But I had a defense.
I hadn’t pulled him into the bed purely to tease him.
“Terence.”
I quietly called his name, and his gaze turned toward me.
“Wait, I have something to say.”
I was finally going to confess a secret I had been holding back all this time.
“Actually… in Idel’s real memories, I saw you, Terence. In a past life, you and she… were lovers.”
Terence’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t interrupt me.
He simply held my hand buried in the blankets, gently stroking it, as if telling me to continue.
“You and Idel first met in the Wanderer’s Forest. Just like us.”
That made it easier than I expected to continue this awkward story.
My voice echoed softly in the dark room.
Even if Kais had known, and even if Lucy woke up and heard me, it didn’t really matter.
By now, Lucy had become familiar enough to me that it was fine if she knew everything.
Before long, I finished my story.
I had recounted, as faithfully as possible, the memories of Idel and Terence from my dreams.
Now, the judgment rested with the man who had been Idel’s lover in a past life and was my lover in this one.
“……”
Terence remained silent for a long moment, pondering my words.
“Please do not think that I took your words lightly.”
Then he spoke.
“To be honest, since I’m hearing this through you, it doesn’t resonate deeply, even if we were lovers in the past. I can’t quite imagine it.”
“Of course. I understand.”
“That’s a relief. Still, I tried my best to accept your words as they were. I thought about how being lovers in a past life would affect this life.”
I swallowed hard, focusing intently on his words.
“The answer is… nothing. It changes nothing.”
Terence lifted his hand and brushed my hair aside.
“The past is the past. The person I love in this life is you.”
My chest tightened, and I bit my lip.
“But Terence, you said you fell for me at first sight.”
I voiced the doubt I had feared most.
“Perhaps it’s because of memories from a past life that you grew to like me…”
For the first time today, Terence cut me off.
“That’s not it. I clearly liked you at first sight.”
However, he continued calmly.
“Just a simple attraction wouldn’t have been enough to break down the walls around my heart. The one I love is undoubtedly you, here, now.”
Terence carefully drew me into his embrace.
“I love you for who you are, whom I’ve directly observed and experienced. Someone who doesn’t give up, who cares for others, and who is fundamentally righteous.”
Terence Belber Asterot truly had a talent for making me cry.
I had promised myself I would be the one to see him cry next, yet here I was, tears streaming helplessly.
“I love you too… I love you.”
I whispered to him, watching a few tears soak his clothing.
Unable to sleep, we spent the rest of the night chatting quietly.
“The Tita tree… I frequented the Wanderer’s Forest as if it were my own yard, but I never noticed such a tree.”
Terence spoke softly.
“You’ve eaten the fruit of the Tita tree before, haven’t you?”
“Me? I don’t recall ever picking fruit from a tree I barely knew.”
“That makes sense—I fed it to you secretly,” I reminded him with a soft chuckle.
“Don’t you remember? The herbal tea recipe I gave you included dried Tita fruit.”
The tea helped with headaches caused by the royal bloodline’s power.
Even now, when he was away from me, he often drank that tea, which contained Tita fruit.
“Oh… that’s right,” Terence muttered, embarrassed. “I’d forgotten since I rarely prepared it myself after the first few times.”
Previously, I had prepared the tea, and recently Jack followed the recipe I gave him.
“If I had known it was in the Wanderer’s Forest, I would have just picked it myself. Why spend so much on dried fruit shipped from afar?”
I complained, and Terence laughed, suggesting we visit the forest together when we returned.
Since it was also the place where we had first met, I readily agreed.
Then Terence suddenly grew serious.
“May I ask your real name?”
“My real name?”
“Yes. Not the name of this body, but the name you used in your original world.”
“You can just keep calling me Idel.”
“I’m curious. I want to know everything about you, even trivial things.”
He hesitated and lowered his eyes.
“I wanted to ask ever since I first learned you weren’t originally from this world, but I didn’t have the courage.”
“Why not?”
“What if you missed your home? What if you wanted to return? I feared that asking would make your longing worse.”
I was genuinely surprised—never imagining he would think such things.
“Cowardly, isn’t it? After I asked you to be honest about everything.”
“Not at all. I’m glad you’re telling me now.”
It reassured me to realize he, too, hesitated and worried over love, just like me.
“We’re not so different, then.”
“And you need not worry. I have no intention of leaving you to return to your original world. There are few good memories there anyway.”
“…I see.”
Terence smiled quietly at my words—a beautiful, gentle smile.
“Then will you tell me? Your name?”
I smiled back and began to speak.
“My real name is…”
I only moved my lips slightly.
The silence grew, and Terence tilted his head.
“Why hesitate?”
“….”
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”
No—it wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell him.
I simply couldn’t remember.
I tried to recall my original name.
What was it?
No matter how hard I racked my brain, it wouldn’t come.
“Why?”
I had lived as Idel for almost three years, but forgetting my name entirely felt strange.
Wait, calm down. If I calmly recalled other things first, the name should come naturally.
What did others call me?
I had no family, being an orphan. No special friends either.
No one else came to mind who might have called me by name.
“Anyone! Anyone will do, just come to me!”
But my memory was a total blank.
Even trying to recall things from the previous world yielded the same result.
The house I lived in, the school I attended, streets I walked, my workplace, even the car accident that led to my death—all were vague.
Faint memories that might have existed, or might not.
Only one thing remained clearly in my memory:
The novel “Return to Walk Only the Flowered Path.”
Two days passed from that night.
On the surface, I carried on with life as usual.
Yet the fact that I could recall nothing and hadn’t noticed it until Terence asked still troubled me.
Why had I never found it strange?
Why had I never tried to deeply recall my past life?
It seemed suspicious to blame it solely on the hardships of that previous life.
It felt as if someone had restricted my thoughts to prevent me from becoming aware of my past life.
Could the culprit be the goddess who possessed me?
I wanted to question her immediately, but Miela had not responded even once since that last night in the dream.
A flood of unanswered questions filled my mind.
But I couldn’t simply stay idle, trapped in the enemy’s stronghold.
“Idel, are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I’ve put aside complicated thoughts for later. I need to focus on the present.”
Reassuring Terence, who always worried about me, I left the room with the divine beast.
In my pocket was a black orb, a family heirloom of Cassius.
“How did I end up bringing this…?”
On the day Liena almost kidnapped me, I had hurriedly packed and accidentally brought the orb.
I had stored it with the artifacts, intending to examine it and return it later, and now it had come along.
Taking someone else’s family heirloom made me feel a little guilty, but today I had a purpose for it.
Suddenly, I realized the orb might originally have belonged in this building.
Cassius descended from demons, and this building was once used by demons.
Finding the idea plausible, I headed to the rooftop.
At the very edge of the roof stood the statue I had been looking for.
I had discovered it while exploring the building before; it had a peculiar aura.
Then—bang! With a loud noise, the door to the rooftop suddenly shut.
“Idel, what are you doing here?”
Liena stood at the door.
I instinctively stepped back. Something about her smile was unnerving.
“You know… I learned something interesting yesterday. Want to guess what it is?”
Liena slowly walked toward me as she spoke.
