CHAPTER 54…………………………….
Chohui brushed the remnants of Dowoon’s kiss from her lips with the back of her hand.
At the sudden kiss, she found herself hugging Dowoon without even realizing it. The moment their bodies touched, her mind went blank, still confused.
“…A mistake?”
It felt as if someone had struck her head violently.
Chohui repeated his last words in a daze.
It was a simple phrase, yet her mind was too stunned to even grasp its meaning.
A mistake? What did that mean?
Did he mean that the kiss itself was a mistake?
Her heart plummeted.
“Of course… he must have kissed me by mistake because he has someone he loves.”
Her mood sank to rock bottom.
She already knew. She had admitted with her own lips that someone was important to him.
Yet, the moment he kissed her, all of that didn’t seem to matter.
And perhaps… could it be that Dowoon liked her too? A hopeful thought flickered.
Otherwise, how could he kiss her so passionately?
But a mistake…
Disappointment, anger, frustration, and hurt tangled wildly in her chest.
It was Dowoon who had acted, yet it was her who had to bear the messy emotions, and that felt unfair.
Maybe “mistake” carried another meaning?
Chohui recalled Dowoon’s voice carefully, trying to calm herself.
She hadn’t properly talked to him yet, so it was better not to jump to conclusions about his words.
“Sigh…”
Chohui bit her lips tightly and pulled the blanket over her head.
It seemed Dowoon wouldn’t be coming back to this room.
Being in his arms felt like a mirage.
“Tomorrow… I’ll talk to him.”
She wanted to ask him directly what he meant by “mistake,” to hear his answer.
Did Dowoon truly feel nothing for her? Or did he harbor even a little affection…?
She pushed the thoughts aside and forced her eyes shut.
“I’ll think about it tomorrow.”
It was going to be a long, very long night.
Swoosh—
Dowoon filled the sink with the coldest water he could and submerged his head, but his heated body wouldn’t cool easily.
It was a mistake.
The moment he met Chohui’s eyes. The moment her soft lips touched his hand. An uncontrollable instinct had shattered the fragile restraint of reason.
Like a wild animal, he had invaded her lips. If he didn’t hold her, he felt as if his body would fall apart.
He had to have her immediately.
Her starry eyes, plump lips, delicate and straight body—he wanted all of it.
The word “colleague” hit him then.
He realized the root of the emotions he had forced himself to ignore, the genuine feelings he had buried in the corner of his heart.
He loved Chohui.
He wanted to speak to her, even a single word. He wanted to see her smile, even if it wasn’t directed at him. Even disguised as a “mistake,” he wanted to reach her.
This had to be love.
Chohui was precious.
He loved her.
He wanted to be happy with her.
He wished she were his real wife, not just bound by a contract.
He covered his mouth and silently let out a frustrated cry.
How dare someone unworthy like him love her.
“Don’t strain yourself. It’s already too late.”
“…Too late?”
“I personally recommended that those filthy men be executed directly. The soldiers had no reason to refuse.”
“…Are you saying they’re already dead?”
“Yes.”
On the day his comrades died because of him, he swore with everything he had.
Until the country was independent, he could not allow himself happiness, even if it meant his body would be destroyed.
It was the price of surviving, backed by countless lives.
He could not allow himself happiness. He could not dare to love anyone.
To be happy alone after his comrades died would have been betrayal, deceit.
So whenever feelings for Chohui began to rise, he deliberately cut them down.
He forcibly ignored them, pushed them deep into the back of his heart.
But all that effort was wasted, destroyed in a single mistake.
A foolish mistake.
He couldn’t believe the usually cold, rational Dowoon could do something so reckless.
Where had it gone wrong?
From the moment she looked after him kindly?
From when he tried to make excuses just to be in the same space as her?
No, it was a mistake that had been predicted long before.
Even though he had known he had feelings for Chohui, he brought her into his house.
He shouldn’t have made a contract.
He should have stopped when he realized he liked her.
He should have refused to keep her close, pretending he didn’t feel anything.
It was all his fault. All his mistake.
“Damn it…”
He struck his face with his palm.
His cheek swelled red, but it didn’t hurt. He hit the other side a few times as well.
Finally, his mind cooled.
“…I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what?”
“…It was a mistake.”
The moment he spoke the word “mistake,” he knew Chohui would be hurt, but he couldn’t help it.
Dowoon had an unchangeable priority. Denying it would mean denying countless lives.
So wanting her had to be a mistake. This feeling had to be temporary.
It was not love, only the desire a man could have for a woman.
“…A mistake, that’s all.”
Dowoon folded his heart again and again, pressing it so it could not leak even through the smallest gap.
He stood by the sink dripping with water, wiped his face with a towel.
His expression showed no trace of the anger he had just released.
“…For now, it’s best not to see her face.”
His duty was clear.
He had to fulfill his role.
Dowoon went to his study, scribbled a letter after several drafts, left it on the desk, and slipped out to Gwangalli under the early dawn with his suitcase.
“Sigh…”
As she feared, Chohui could not sleep.
She tossed and turned, unable to rest.
Dowoon might return to the room, and then she would have to speak to him.
But the bedroom door remained closed. Outside the window, the yellow light of dawn began to rise.
“Is he really gone, not coming back?”
Staring blankly at the sunrise, Chohui suddenly stood up.
She had waited enough. She could not wait any longer.
She wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and ran down to the first floor.
Dowoon had to be in his study.
She wondered what he would say.
Would he explain what he meant by “mistake”? Or would he brush it off with his usual sly humor?
Even if it wasn’t ideal, a little joke was better than confirming twice that it was a mistake.
With urgency, Chohui knocked on the study door.
Knock, knock—
But for some reason, no one answered.
“Dowoon, are you in there?”
No reply. She knocked again, more urgently.
“Let’s talk for a moment. Face to face.”
Still, silence. Frustrated, she turned the doorknob. She couldn’t wait any longer.
“I’ll come in.”
She prepared herself to face him—but the study was empty.
“…Dowoon?”
Calling again just in case, but he was nowhere to be seen. The sofa was neatly arranged, showing no signs he had slept here.
“I was sure he’d be here…”
Chohui frowned.
If not in the study, where could he be…?
Could he have gone to the office early because he didn’t want to face her?
She furrowed her brow, displeased.
She had spent all night thinking about what to say, but hadn’t prepared for him being absent.
“Do I wait until afternoon? Or go to the office? What should I do…”
As she turned to leave, she noticed a sheet of paper on the desk.
Walking closer, Chohui’s face stiffened.
Quick, hurried handwriting was scrawled at the top.
“‘To my dear wife’?”
Not Chohui… wife?
The word made her pause.
But she understood. If anyone else saw the letter first, they would assume Chohui was his wife, and it wouldn’t seem strange.
Yet another odd sense of unease crept in.
Leaving the letter without showing his face… could not be good news.
With trembling hands, Chohui slowly read the letter.
*[To my dear wife,
First, I deeply apologize and ask for your forgiveness for startling you last night. I am well aware that my mistake may have caused you discomfort.]*
She stopped reading. Her heart sank.
Deep apology and forgiveness? My mistake?
“…The kiss was a mistake?”
Her voice trembled as she held the letter.
Her worst fear was true.
The kiss was a mistake.
She didn’t want to read further, but her eyes continued down the page.
*[I wish to express my sincere apology.
I will provide any compensation you wish. Please consider an amount you deem appropriate.]*
Her voice shook more and more.
Compensation? An amount?
So… he was offering money to undo what happened?
Tears welled in Chohui’s eyes. Sadness and anger intertwined.
Money? For a kiss?
What did Dowoon truly think of her?
“He said I’m not just a colleague…”
Offering money meant he saw her only as a contractual partner, nothing more.
She had thought, even a little, that he liked her.
But now she knew she meant nothing to him.
Tears of shame, anger, and sorrow fell.
But there was still more.
Was it possible it could get worse? She read on.
*[Coincidentally, I need to leave for urgent work, so I will be away from home for a few days.
During our time apart, let us clear any lingering tension so we may continue our collaborative work.
With sincere regrets,
Your husband, Lee Dowoon]*
Reading his name at the end, Chohui crumpled the letter.
Along with the paper, her heart crumpled.
