Chapter 118 …………………………………
The moment I saw those unwavering, serious eyes, I understood.
Terrence had not rushed to find me because of some sudden problem, nor was he here to scold me for missing an evening appointment.
“Terrence…”
From those perfectly shaped lips, I already knew what words would come next. I just knew.
Conflicting emotions surged through me. Part of me wanted to hear them, part of me dreaded them.
But before I could even decide how to react…
“I like you.”
Those words swallowed all rational thought inside me.
“I like you.” I repeated them in a daze.
“I once thought it better to stay as friends than risk losing you by asking for more. To stay by your side as a friend and slowly draw closer.”
The grip on my hand tightened. Through his gloves, I could feel the strength of his thick knuckles more keenly.
“I was a coward pretending to be rational. You…”
For a moment, his red eyes softened, showing a vulnerable light.
“You could vanish like smoke in front of me, whenever you wished.”
Me… vanish? I looked at him, puzzled, and he added:
“I know you aren’t the type to do that. It was only my anxiety.”
He pulled my hand to his lips.
“That anxiety forced me to make a decision.”
His lips pressed softly against the back of my hand. Warmer and gentler than I had expected.
The kiss didn’t last long. Unlike the intense emotions he had just expressed, the feeling faded quickly from my hand.
“Idel.”
Raising his body from the bow he had taken to kiss my hand, he called my name.
But the gaze that met mine was not as light or refreshing as the kiss had been.
Slowly, he moved his lips and said:
“I like you.”
Once again, like driving a stake.
This was no joke, no words to brush aside. Yet he was utterly resolute.
I had to speak. Quickly.
“Terrence.”
But my mind went blank—I couldn’t form any words.
“I….”
Whoooosh. At that moment, a loud noise interrupted us.
The train’s whistle sounded as it pulled into the station.
“My apologies for interrupting,”
Vineta peeked her head out.
“The next train won’t arrive for another five hours. The tickets for this train are already reserved—what would you like to do?”
Terrence answered her first.
“I’ll take this train back.”
Then he turned his gaze to me.
“You don’t have to answer immediately. These are feelings I expressed on my own.”
He slowly let go of my hand.
“It’s late. Let’s head back.”
After that, I lost track of time.
I remembered taking the train back to the capital, then riding in a carriage to the Imperial Palace, but everything felt hazy.
When I came to my senses, we were already at the front of the palace.
“Are you alright, Idel?”
Vineta asked as she looked at me.
“Huh? What did you say?”
“I asked if you were alright. You seemed a bit out of it earlier.”
I blushed slightly at that.
Vineta must have found my restless state on the train and in the carriage quite odd.
“I’m sorry. I was a little distracted, wasn’t I?”
“It’s no matter for me to worry about, but I am concerned that you may not be feeling well.”
Good heavens. Vineta had always been composed, even when trapped inside the magical stone mine.
“You kept muttering while looking out the window, sitting and standing repeatedly—perhaps it’s the aftereffect of collapsing at the orphanage…”
“No! It has nothing to do with that!”
Looking back, I realized my state had indeed been strange enough to worry Vineta.
‘But whenever I think about what happened with Terrence, I can’t just sit still.’
Luckily, our train seats had been separate, sparing me from facing him while returning.
But every time I caught sight of the back of his head in the seat ahead, my heart refused to calm down.
I fought the urge to flee, fearing he might suddenly come over to speak to me.
The problem was that I didn’t even understand why I wanted to run.
He had confessed. If I wanted to, I could accept. If not, I could refuse.
‘It’s so simple… so why!’
I clutched my head, wrestling with my thoughts, when suddenly:
“Idel.”
The one responsible for these thoughts appeared.
“As you requested, I informed Jack and had someone named Angela sent to one of my safe houses.”
“Ah, thank you! I was supposed to do it myself, so I feel bad. I couldn’t prepare an appropriate place immediately…”
I couldn’t leave Angela—who feared being followed—anywhere haphazardly.
“Haha, I suppose I should prepare two or three safe houses in case we need to hide quickly.”
“True. It never hurts to have them.”
Terrence, matching my nervous chatter, responded smoothly.
“But who exactly is this woman?”
His gaze sharpened slightly.
“She seems very cautious, and given she’s being pursued, her movements appear suspicious. Better to be careful.”
“No need to worry. She was a teacher I followed like a mother when I was young.”
“I see. She has quite a pleasant demeanor.”
Huh? Didn’t he just subtly change the topic?
Anyway, I explained about Angela.
“She’s been through many hardships over the years and remains very alert.”
“I brought her somewhere quiet; she should adjust gradually.”
“I hope that’s true.”
“I’ll give you the address so you can visit her later.”
“Thank you for being so thoughtful.”
“Not at all.”
“…….”
“…….”
My awkward silence made the atmosphere suddenly tense.
‘This won’t do!’
Even talking with Terrence normally, my mind kept drifting back to what had happened at the nearly empty train station.
Especially his red eyes and lips, so vivid even in the dark night…
‘No! What are you thinking!’
Shaking off the unnecessary thoughts, I gave Terrence a polite parting.
“You must be tired. Please go inside.”
“…Yes. You too.”
Just as I felt a pang of regret at his voice, something unexpected happened.
Rumble. My stomach growled loudly.
I blushed with embarrassment.
“Well… I haven’t had dinner yet.”
With all the traveling on the train and carriage, I hadn’t had time, and after learning about the shocking pasts of Idel and Riena, I had no appetite.
“I’ve only missed one meal…”
Terrence, seeing me muttering in defeat, cracked a smile.
“I haven’t eaten dinner yet either. If you’re okay, shall we have a light meal together?”
“Eh?”
“Dinner for those of us who haven’t eaten.”
And so, I found myself seated across from Terrence at a table.
The location: the palace terrace. He had invited me, just like at his secret villa, to share wine together.
‘Ah, right. That happened too.’
Before I divorced, we had clinked wine glasses and shared our life plans.
It was only a few months ago, yet it felt like a distant memory.
From then until now, everything that had happened, every moment, swept through my mind.
‘…I actually knew all along.’
I admitted it now. I had sensed Terrence’s feelings for me for some time.
He called me a friend, but when he asked me to dance in front of so many people at the emperor’s birthday celebration, a shadow of suspicion formed deep in my heart.
Later, when we combined forces against the Iver guild and confronted Elliot, he always listened to me and never blamed me even when I caused danger in the mines.
“I’m fine, so you and Vineta should leave first.”
Even at moments when his own life was at risk, he worried for me.
How could I not know his heart?
Yet I pretended not to. I excused myself, claiming I didn’t know since he hadn’t directly confessed—but truly, I was scared.
I feared that by accepting Terrence’s feelings, I might drift away from him, or if I accepted, realize my own feelings weren’t the same.
I liked Terrence, too. But I wasn’t sure if this was love.
‘Just like with Riandro.’
I knew full well that Terrence was not like Riandro, thanks to the time we’d spent together.
But I had once mistaken my feelings for Riandro as love, married him, and failed.
Even if it was a past I had overcome, I never wanted to repeat that experience. Especially not with Terrence.
I didn’t have proof, but I knew. If something similar happened with Terrence, the effect on me would be incomparable to Riandro.
Time could heal any pain, but how long would it really take?
He called himself a coward, but the true coward was me.
‘Moreover, Terrence is a prince vying for the throne.’
Though I owned the top-grade magical stone mine, there were many ways I would be at a disadvantage against him.
I had been married once, and as I learned only yesterday, I was also an orphan.
Even Riena—who had no marriage history and had lived as Cassius’s adopted daughter for over ten years—was dating Mihail. And here I am, with Terrence?
Just imagining it made my head throb.
“Idel.”
Then Terrence’s voice reached me.
“…Is it uncomfortable being with me?”
Seeing him cautiously gauge my expression, something welled up inside me.
‘How pathetic I am.’
Even now, he cared for me, yet my thoughts wandered to everything but him—thinking of possible criticism or public perception.
“Terrence, I have something to tell you.”
I needed to gather myself and reveal my true feelings.
“It may sound insane, but please hear me out.”
To do that, I first had to tell him my secret.
“Actually, I’m not from this world.”
