Chapter 19
After a delicious lunch, Sophia naturally headed to the library.
Just as she reached out to grab a book from the high shelf while standing on a stepladder, Lucion, who was holding the ladder from below, spoke up.
“Wouldn’t it be better if I got it for you?”
“I prefer getting it myself. Besides, I haven’t decided what I’m going to read yet, so I’m choosing from up here.”
“That’s dangerous…”
“You just have to hold it steady. I trust you.”
As she spoke with Lucion, Sophia ran her index finger along the book titles. To minimize fear, she kept her eyes firmly away from the ground, focusing only on the books.
This one’s boring. I’ve read that one already. Ah, this one’s just full of nonsense.
While she was struggling to find something that interested her, Lucion spoke again.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure. In honor of you finding out what I’m afraid of, I’ll answer anything you ask while I choose a book.”
At her words, Lucion pouted slightly before carefully laying out the question he had in mind.
“Why do you always read books?”
“Because there’s nothing else to do.”
“You could play with the servants or ask for toys. Like chess or Othello or something…”
“They all pretend they’re not, but everyone’s busy.”
Sophia spoke calmly, pulling a book from the shelf and reading the first page.
“Even Lorei, you know? Ever since I started keeping you by my side, he’s been too busy catching up on the work he postponed because of me. That’s why I hardly see him anymore.”
“…”
“That’s just how it is. So I choose ways to spend time that I can do alone.”
To avoid being a burden, she had quietly and precociously grown used to being alone. How could anyone dislike or hate a child like that?
Lucion felt like he was beginning to understand why all the servants at Rosent Castle were so kind to Sophia and fond of her. A little sympathy and her selfless behavior made it impossible not to be moved.
After reading the opening of one book and deciding it wasn’t right, Sophia returned it to the shelf and looked for another one.
She didn’t forget to say one more thing to Lucion.
“By the way, if you have something to do, feel free to go.”
“Sorry? You mean…”
“I’m just going to quietly read until dinner anyway.”
“But being alone is lonely.”
“That only applies to people who feel lonely.”
Perhaps she had spotted a title that caught her eye, because Sophia’s arm reached out and pulled down a book. Her tone was calm, far from what a typical child would say.
She truly seemed indifferent to being alone.
“I’ve gotten used to it.”
After living through life after life, always surrounded by those who rejected her, it was only natural to become used to it.
There was a time—long ago—when she might have told Lorei she was lonely, but the memory was so faint it barely existed anymore.
Now it didn’t matter. She didn’t feel anything.
“Oh, I haven’t seen this one before.”
Murmuring in a light tone, Sophia picked up a book that seemed to be about travel.
[The Sky Where the Moon Rises]
She carefully checked the cover and content, and seemingly satisfied, hugged it close and called to Lucion below.
“Shion. If you’re not leaving yet, can you hold the ladder tight?”
“Ah, yes.”
Thanks to Lucion’s steady grip, Sophia climbed down safely without the ladder shaking even once and took a seat at the central table in the library. On the table was the tea and dessert Lucion had prepared earlier.
He then stepped back and stopped just within view of Sophia’s back.
“I told you, you can go.”
Noticing he hadn’t left, Sophia said this, but Lucion didn’t move an inch.
“I want to stay by your side.”
“…”
“I get lonely easily.”
Her hand, flipping through the pages, came to a halt. Then, as if a puff of air had escaped her lips, Sophia let out a soft sigh. It must’ve been a laugh of disbelief.
“Then come sit next to me.”
“Really? I can?”
“Yeah.”
With her permission, Lucion beamed and plopped down next to her. He pushed a plate piled high with cookies slathered in apricot jam toward Sophia.
“You have to eat a lot, miss.”
“If I snack too much, Lorei will scold me.”
“I’ll keep it a secret. I’ll just say I ate more than half the cookies!”
Lucion always acted more like a child than she did, lightening the mood with exaggerated voices and gestures. But this time, something was different.
His over-the-top cheeriness felt unnatural—off, even. Something wasn’t right.
“Shion.”
“Yes?”
“Did I say something that bothered you?”
Did she say something so upsetting that he was now going overboard to lighten the mood?
As if confused by her question, Lucion slowly let the corners of his mouth fall and stared at the rabbit-shaped cookie before turning back to her.
“I didn’t like you at first.”
“I didn’t like you either.”
“What? Really? Why?!”
Lucion was definitely an idiot. He just confessed that he didn’t like her, and now he looked completely hurt when she said the same.
Feeling indignant, Sophia flicked his forehead and answered.
“No reason. I wasn’t thrilled about getting a new attendant, and I don’t like noisy people.”
“I see…”
“And you? Why didn’t you like me?”
She couldn’t help but be curious. From the beginning, Lucion had approached her kindly and never showed any signs of dislike.
Then again, as a newly appointed servant, it would’ve been a huge problem if he had.
Still, the fact that he had managed to hide such feelings with that innocent face… That unsettled her.
Lucion paused to choose his words before speaking carefully.
“Because you looked like someone I really hate. That scary look in your eyes… your purple eyes… And because you never smiled, you reminded me of him even more.”
“A woman?”
“No, a man. Someone I wish would disappear from my life.”
He grimaced, as if just thinking about the man irritated him. It was clear that merely picturing him made Lucion angry.
She didn’t know who it was, but… did she really resemble him that much? Enough to be hated just for that?
Maybe she was feeling a twinge of regret—I should’ve smiled more often—when Lucion quickly added as if reading her thoughts.
“Not anymore! You don’t look like him at all now! I honestly don’t know what I was thinking back then… You’re nothing like that man.”
“Really?”
“Yes. So… you don’t have to force yourself to smile or anything. I like you just the way you are.”
Trying to lighten the suddenly somber atmosphere again, Lucion laughed and held out a rabbit-shaped cookie to her lips.
“You deserve to be loved, miss.”
Sophia took a bite and turned her head away, rubbing the back of her neck.
“…Don’t say things like that. It’s embarrassing.”
It had been so long since she’d been treated like this, it felt almost shameful. In her past lives, she’d always been surrounded by people who didn’t like her, constantly watching their moods and trying desperately to please them like a dog wagging its tail.
She was already used to Lorei’s gentle words—they didn’t faze her—but Lucion was different.
His unfamiliar warmth and compliments made her squirm. She frowned, flustered, but Lucion paid no mind and kept saying kind things.
“I’ll stay by your side so you won’t feel lonely, so you won’t have to think being alone is normal anymore.”
“…”
“Oh! Since you’re not feeling well, how about playing some indoor games with me instead of going out to the garden?”
“…Sure. Do whatever you want.”
She couldn’t answer properly because she was too focused on changing the topic before Lucion said anything more embarrassing.
After a moment of silence, Sophia spoke up.
“This cookie tastes different. It’s better than the ones I’ve had before.”
“I thought you’d like it.”
“Why?”
“Because Young Master Benjamin baked it himself. He said it was a gift and an apology to you for what happened last time.”
“…What?”
Who… baked something? Personally? For her?
