CHAPTER 101…………………………………………
“So… if it’s not urgent, maybe later?”
It wasn’t just me who was taken aback by his resolute tone. The king looked helplessly at me. It seemed he had witnessed the wavering in my gaze.
Frozen, I couldn’t say a word and just stared at Peredil.
Unlike mine, his eyes were steady, unwavering. In fact, they were the same as before. They reminded me of the first time we met, when he looked at me as if I were a nuisance, like a bothersome obstacle. Without a word, his gaze clearly showed that my presence irritated him—and now he was looking at me the same way again.
I smiled faintly and bowed my head to the king once more.
“I’ll greet you properly another time.”
I held back the tears threatening to spill, choosing instead to leave. If I had confronted Peredil then, it might have given me a good excuse to part ways.
But what about the harm it would cause the empire because of me? How ridiculous would the empire appear if a diplomatic envoy argued with their lover in front of the king? Even in front of Theo, who dreamed of exchanges with Copes, and Woodville, who regarded me as his daughter, I wouldn’t be able to lift my head proudly.
I mustn’t cause harm. At the very least…
As if my place were already determined, I walked toward the corner of the ballroom. I kept my eyes forward, afraid that lowering my head would pull my tears down. Surrounded by the lively laughter and chatter of the crowd, I felt even more pitiful. The music, flowing so brightly that it almost drowned out conversation, isolated me completely.
While searching for a suitable corner, a recent memory suddenly came to mind.
The time I pretended to be indifferent to Peredil, acting cold toward him. I looked at him with lifeless eyes, as if watching a dull scene. His responses were so brief that they seemed unworthy of a reply.
How had Peredil endured it all without bursting into tears? What drove him to seek me out and ask me on a date without knowing the reason?
I felt like I was being punished. For loving in a way that imbued meaning into every tiny glance and tone. And for assuming that Peredil’s love—equally deep—could be easily manipulated by me.
I was now paying the price: the heartbreak of experiencing the same pain I had caused.
I shook my head, refusing to succumb to self-pity. I didn’t want to be the scene-stealer crying in the middle of the ballroom.
The only way to lift my sinking mood was to rely on a bit of magic.
“Hey, maybe stop drinking so much?”
I hadn’t noticed Theo quietly coming up beside me as I drained glass after glass of wine.
“You wicked accomplice.”
I hadn’t intended to speak aloud, but my lips betrayed me. In truth, I hadn’t felt my body in so long that I barely realized I was talking. Was I even standing properly on my two feet?
Theo scanned me from head to toe with a look of exasperation.
“I was just doing what you asked me to do, you know?”
“Who said otherwise?”
“I told you to be honest, didn’t I?”
“What are you even talking about? I’m just raising a toast because I’m so happy seeing those two right now.”
I pointed at a sweet couple. Theo followed my gaze, and upon seeing the couple, he snorted in disbelief.
“Hah. Noah’s mouth is really hooked, isn’t it?”
“My sister’s the same—absolutely thrilled.”
Noah and Luna were dancing hand in hand, never taking their eyes off each other.
They looked carefree, perfectly matched. Seeing them filled me with joy, yet a strange pang of sadness too.
Before them lay only eternity together. With Noah’s bulldozer-like personality, he’d soon propose to Luna. And since she had Philip’s permission to be his partner, Luna would, of course, accept.
The heroine I had wanted to protect was smiling brighter than anyone else in the world. Even the Count and Countess of Woodville, watching her, were smiling. It was the scene I had longed to see.
Yet, why did my heart feel so heavy despite witnessing it? The moment I saw Luna laughing and clinging to Philip and Molly, I realized why. That scene was so perfect without me that my absence felt completely unnoticeable.
I felt utterly alone. The sense of loss I hadn’t felt in my first life when I had no one by my side. If something is only going to disappear, it might as well not have existed at all.
Family, lover, friends—all gone. I came empty-handed, and I would leave the same way.
I wanted to make my dazed mind even emptier. Reaching for another glass, I felt it might clear my head.
Seeing this, Theo hurriedly stopped me.
“You’ve already had too much. Don’t do something you’ll regret—stop drinking.”
But before he finished speaking, I was already doing it. Something I would regret.
The moment I saw Chase heading toward the balcony, I stumbled after her. I flung open the door leading to where she was.
The sound caught Chase’s attention, and she turned toward me. Her gentle smile was like a painting, making me feel even more choked up.
“Your Highness!”
I struggled with my tangled tongue and shouted at the top of my lungs.
“Yes, Miss Joyce.”
She answered with an unnaturally calm tone. Her emotionless demeanor reminded me of someone I’d rather not think about—someone who made me angry yet kept coming to mind.
I asked Chase, who seemed to be waiting patiently:
“You like information, don’t you, Your Highness? Information?”
Chase, attentive even to my drunken state, answered politely.
“Yes.”
“Good. I’ll give you that information. But first, catch your breath. No matter what line you deliver, breath is life itself. Especially for long speeches.”
Seeing Chase smile with enjoyment irritated me. Did she already assume Peredil was hers? Each time I exhaled to speak to her, I smelled grapes—pleasant but dizzying, not entirely agreeable.
Once I had breathed enough, I poured out everything I wanted to say to her.
“Peredil is good at aiming. If you want a doll, just ask him. He doesn’t like waiting in line, but he’s patient, so if you want, he’ll comply. He doesn’t like sweets—you already know that. Ah! Surprisingly, he enjoys listening to street music. Even as a noble, he has a taste for popular melodies. He’s interested in good art…! And very importantly, he’s allergic to olives, so be careful. His appetite is small but he’s not picky with food.”
Chase listened carefully, not missing a single word. She was surely focused on gathering information about Peredil.
“So, I hope you two get along! I think you’re very compatible.”
Those words, meant to bless them, broke the dam of my long-held tears. The shame had long since dissolved; I let the tears flow freely.
For the first time, Chase looked genuinely surprised. But her reaction didn’t matter. The struggle I had endured all night to avoid crying crumbled instantly.
A hearty laugh rang from behind, and my tears stopped.
“Hahaha. As you said, you really are a lively and entertaining young lady.”
The sound was vivid—it couldn’t be a hallucination.
I slowly turned toward it.
The king of Copes, leaning against the wall, laughed heartily. He wasn’t the only one listening.
Flushed, Peredil asked me,
“So… you two… will… what?”
