Chapter 108
That evening, at the A-grade accommodation.
“Haah……”
In Ahyoung’s hand—while she let out sigh after sigh as if the ground might collapse—was a letter presumed to have been written with great care by Jihyun.
Should she open it, or not? She had been agonizing over that for more than an hour.
Her thoughts were complicated, and she wanted comfort, so it felt like opening the letter might help. But then again, she thought that comfort wouldn’t help resolve her current situation, and that she would just end up exhausting her emotions. She kept worrying over what she should do…
Bang, bang, bang!
‘That startled me.’
Flinching, Ahyoung dropped the letter and walked toward the living room where the noise had come from.
Sooyoung and Jieun, who were staying in the same accommodation, had also come out after being startled by the knocking.
Was Seunghye or Rin here to hang out again?
Thinking she should tell them not to knock so hard, Ahyoung grabbed the doorknob.
But standing in front of the door was, surprisingly, neither Rin, nor Seunghye, nor Eunseo.
“S-Sehee unnie……?”
“Move.”
For some reason, Sehee looked extremely angry as she curled her lips and stepped inside, then stared intently at everyone except Ahyoung.
She was the one who had come despite the staff’s request to refrain from wandering around the rooms, yet what she said while standing there was even more absurd.
“I have something to say for a moment, so everyone go back to your rooms. They said we’re not allowed to go out right now, and the common hall is locked, so we’ll have to do it here.”
Standing in a blind spot of the camera, Sehee spoke coldly.
It was a rather absurd request, but no one could go against her words. Her words always carried that much force.
With that, everyone disappeared into their rooms, and the living room became as quiet as a dead mouse.
After glaring at Ahyoung for a while, Sehee sat down on one side of the sofa, still in the blind spot, and gestured with her chin toward the seat across from her.
“Sit.”
“Y-Yes…!”
Ahyoung, too, couldn’t go against Sehee.
Even if she had lost her memories and treated her coldly, she was still the first fan unnie who had liked her, someone she cherished and loved dearly.
“What is this about……?”
“I heard you planned this stage a bit strangely?”
Sehee wasn’t the type to beat around the bush, so she went straight to the point and stabbed at Ahyoung’s core.
She had neither the need nor the leeway to go in circles to avoid hurting her feelings.
At Sehee’s words, Ahyoung hesitated briefly, then steadied her voice.
It seemed she was responding more actively, both with the will not to remain completely intimidated and because it was related to her bias.
“I didn’t plan it strangely. Um, I even received a not-bad evaluation from mentor-nim, and it’s the result of me thinking it through and working hard.”
“I know you received a not-bad evaluation. But that also means you didn’t receive only good evaluations, doesn’t it?”
Pretending not to know, Sehee questioned her.
“I heard your mentor’s evaluation of the judging results—that is, Ahn Jihyun’s—and it was somewhat similar to what I was thinking.”
“What……?”
“You’re preparing this stage as if you’re getting ready for that stage, aren’t you?”
“That’s not true! I didn’t put my personal desires first and prepare it without completeness or anything like that—!”
“You didn’t understand my point.”
Sehee sighed and shook her head. She briefly closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, a different light flickered in them.
“Why are you substituting Kim Seunghye for Ahn Jihyun, and trying to center the stage around that Ahn Jihyun?”
“…….”
“I wasn’t going to say you threw it together carelessly. That stage—”
She had watched the video through Jihyun.
Honestly, she didn’t want to admit it, but even from ‘Ahn Jihyun’s’ perspective, it was a very meticulously well-structured composition.
What Sehee wanted to say wasn’t that the stage was sloppy.
Given the nature of a survival program—and not only that—eventually only one person would remain. So why had she conceived it that way? That was the question.
“That stage was fine. I acknowledge that you have ability. But why aren’t you using that ability to make yourself stand out? That’s what I want to ask.”
“That’s because this is a team competition…….”
“It’s a team competition, but at the same time, it’s an individual competition.”
Whether it was Kim Seunghye, Ahn Jihyun, or anyone else—if they weren’t confirmed to debut alongside Sung Ahyoung, they were people she would have to eliminate and move past.
The same would apply even after debut.
“Are you going to live your whole life as a supporting role?”
“…….”
“If you’re going to spend your life just admiring and being satisfied with making someone else shine from beside them, then give up this stage and just get eliminated.”
Sehee’s tightly clenched hand trembled.
“That flimsy resolve of yours is an insult to the people full of desire who want to stand on that stage.”
Did she need to go this far? That thought briefly crossed Sehee’s mind.
Even if she was angry, she should be angry for cold and convincing reasons, but this anger felt like it was coming from emotions toward Ahyoung.
She should be angry because Ahyoung’s actions were frustrating and pathetic, yet she felt an inexplicable pity.
It hurt to see Ahyoung eating herself away.
‘Maybe this… is Jang Sehee’s emotion.’
If she were ‘Ahn Jihyun,’ she would never have been shaken in a situation like this.
She would have just thought it was pathetic. Honestly, even now she still thought it was ridiculous.
With such an important competition ahead, when she should be thinking only of her own victory, she was taking risks because she was imagining a joint stage with the idol she admired and projecting that onto it.
If she got eliminated like that, would Ahn Jihyun take responsibility?
Even if she received a good score, it was laughable to think she had built some meaningful relationship.
Even if her passionate fan had switched into Ahn Jihyun’s body, that didn’t mean she would take her auditions for her or live her life in her place.
‘Being obsessed with human relationships is truly pathetic.’
The more she mulled over it, the more irritated she became. Especially as she remembered her past self.
‘Unnie, if we debut together, it would really be so exciting and nice.’
Because of that one sentence—because she couldn’t let go of those happy memories from that time—she endured insane pressure in her situation and even ridiculous misunderstandings, unable to give up the life of an idol.
She hated it, felt betrayed and resentful, but it was just as precious, so she endured desperately to protect it.
The place Ahyoung was trying to go—that was what it was like.
A position where, no matter the situation, you had to carry responsibility.
“And yet you’re approaching that important position with such a shallow resolve that you think it’s fine even if you get eliminated?”
“That’s not it……!”
“Then why aren’t you doing your best? If you think stepping on someone to climb up is heartless, then you’re not someone suited for that position.”
Sehee’s tone grew more and more heated.
“Even if you successfully lead that stage by putting Seunghye as the main character, how grateful do you think she’ll be to you?”
“…….”
“She might be, for the time being. But after you get eliminated from the audition, will it practically help you at all?”
“Don’t… say it like that.”
“I’m not just talking about her. Eunseo, Rin, you included—if you think your four-member group will stay that tightly united forever, that’s a huge delusion.”
Sehee let out a slight scoff and sneered.
“You all act as if the broadcasting station promised to debut the four of you together. Who’s going to let you debut that easily?”
“I never thought that.”
“If not, then why are you acting like it?”
“Is it wrong to want to debut together?”
“At least within this framework, you could say it is. Especially judging by your actions right now.”
“What about my actions?”
“You’re not even properly looking after your own interests, and yet you dare try to help someone else.”
To achieve what you want, you need the ability to match. Sehee knew that fact painfully well.
Back then, if she had possessed the ability and circumstances to fight against Beomjun for a long time, things between Moa and herself wouldn’t have spiraled to such extremes.
“You yourself aren’t even properly established, and yet you dare talk about taking care of someone else.”
“…….”
