CHAPTER 03
The scene in front of me felt so unreal that I stood there blankly for a long time, moving sluggishly and staring in confusion. It wasn’t until the director barked at us that I finally realized this was reality.
But I could still vividly remember the slick, warm feeling of blood slipping through my fingers.
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t understand why my life, which should have ended at the House of Elard, had continued like this.
Maybe God pitied me, someone who had never been loved by anyone until the very end, and gave me another chance.
‘Even if I did return to when I was a powerless eight-year-old…’
“Ria, what are you doing?”
“Huh?”
“Aren’t you going to eat your bread?”
I had been lost in thought, not touching my bread, when Emily, who was sitting next to me, called out.
Her voice held a strange mix of nervousness and hope.
When I saw that she couldn’t take her eyes off the bread in my hand, a bitter smile formed on my lips.
“Emily, do you want this?”
“Huh? N-no! You need to eat too, Ria.”
“I’m not very hungry today. So you eat it.”
“Really? Can I really have it?”
Her delighted reaction eased my mood a little.
Right then—
“Hey! If you’re not going to eat it, give it to me. You’re short and weak anyway. Even if you eat, I should be the one eating more.”
At the ridiculous remark, I turned my head.
Thomas, the biggest and oldest kid in the orphanage, stood there proudly.
“Don’t be stupid. Why should you eat mine?”
“W-what?!”
Thomas clearly hadn’t expected timid, quiet me to talk back like that. His mouth opened and closed, and as the other kids stared at him, his face turned bright red.
“How dare you talk back? If I say I’m eating it, I’m eating it! Want to get beaten?”
He swung one arm threateningly and stepped toward me.
He looked like he was about to hit me at any moment, but instead, I lifted my chin.
No matter how big he looked, he was just another underfed child.
He wasn’t even an adult man. Just a ten-year-old brat. He wasn’t scary at all.
“Stop causing trouble.”
A boy with dark gray hair sitting in the corner spoke up. It was Jack, the same age as Thomas.
“What’s this pretty-boy bastard sticking his nose in for?”
Thomas, who had always been jealous of handsome Jack, immediately glared at him.
‘Still, he can’t beat Jack.’
Just as I was shaking my head, thinking that fights weren’t decided by size alone—
“Don’t let your guard down! I’m taking this!”
Thomas suddenly darted forward, stuck out his tongue at me, grabbed my bread, and ran off.
“That sneaky jerk!”
I shouted and tried to chase him, but Emily hurriedly grabbed me.
When I looked around, all the kids were staring at me, as if it was strange that I had dared to talk back to Thomas.
Even Jack.
Embarrassed by all the attention, I cleared my throat and sat back down.
Not knowing that I would regret not chasing Thomas for the rest of the day.
***
Grrr… growl… grrrrr.
Crouched down, scrubbing the floor with frozen hands, I clutched my stomach.
I was starving.
“I should’ve chased him.”
Click.
I heard someone click their tongue.
“That’s why you shouldn’t have tried to give your bread away.”
It was Jack, sitting on the windowsill, wiping the glass.
“What did you just say?”
I was already hungry, and now he wanted to pick a fight?
I threw down the rag and stood up, glaring at him. Jack hesitated for a second before continuing.
“If you hadn’t tried to give your bread away in the first place, none of that would’ve happened.”
“So you’re saying it’s my fault?”
“Yes.”
“Hey!”
Strictly speaking, he wasn’t wrong. That only made me angrier.
It should’ve been embarrassing to get mad at a kid, but maybe because my body had become younger, my mind had too. I couldn’t hold back my temper.
Besides, I knew what kind of adult Jack would grow into. If I wanted to properly go against him and win, this might be my only chance.
‘Should I just tackle him?’
I was seriously considering it when—
“Huh?”
I looked down at my hand in surprise.
The hand that had been holding a rag just moments ago now held half a piece of black bread from breakfast.
“Is this… for me?”
“If you don’t want it, throw it away.”
“I won’t!”
Why would I throw away food? No matter how hard and dry black bread was, once it went into your stomach, it was all the same.
“Jack, you’re actually… a good kid, huh?”
In my heart, I shouted the eternal truth: ‘Anyone who gives you food is a good person!’ and looked at Jack.
“You… you’re acting weird today.”
Jack narrowed his eyes at me.
That startled me.
We were from the same orphanage, but we had barely spoken before.
How could he tell I was different?
Feeling uneasy, I quickly changed the subject.
“Then why are you giving this to me?”
We only ate once a day, so he must have saved it to eat later. Why give it to me?
“Your stomach growling was so loud it was driving me crazy. Eat and shut it up.”
“You—!”
I was about to snap back at him when I suddenly froze.
Through the window, in the orphanage courtyard covered in white snow, a large, rough-looking man and a little girl were walking in.
***
And so, back to the present.
After hearing the director’s introduction and Diana’s greeting, I stood completely frozen.
‘…Why today of all days?’
The very day I returned after dying at the House of Elard was the same day the youngest princess of the Elard family, Diana, entered Tesar Orphanage.
‘Can this really be dismissed as coincidence?’
But thinking about it carefully, maybe the first turning point in my life had been meeting Diana.
If she hadn’t appeared here in the past, the Duke of Elard wouldn’t have destroyed the orphanage. I wouldn’t have become a homeless beggar overnight and suffered like that.
So maybe returning to this moment meant I was being told to start a new life from that very first turning point.
Lost in thought as I stared into the blue eyes of the child clutching my sleeve, I looked at her more carefully.
‘Now that I look at her, she really does have the aura of a noble lady.’
I hadn’t realized it when I was young, but now I could sense how different she was.
Aside from her beautiful, elegant features, even though her clothes were dirty, the fabric and design were nothing like the worn-out hand-me-downs the orphanage kids wore.
“Um.”
“Mm?”
“How old are you?”
“I’m three! No, four!”
Diana first held up three chubby fingers, then hurriedly changed them to four.
It seemed she wasn’t used to saying her new age since her birthday hadn’t been long ago.
It matched my memory.
It was winter now, and Diana’s birthday was in autumn.
‘I really did return to ten years ago.’
It felt unreal that just a few months ago, I had attended Diana’s fourteenth birthday party.
Perhaps because of the uncomfortable stares around her, Diana’s lips trembled.
“Sniff…”
The past suddenly came back to me.
In my previous life, I had avoided getting close to Diana, just like the other kids.
She was spoiled and cried easily. I was afraid that if I stayed near her, I would get scolded by the director too.
‘But it’s normal for a four-year-old to be clingy and cry.’
Especially a child who had been separated from her loving family overnight.
Anyway, strangely enough, even though Diana seemed indifferent to the other kids, she would often stare at me whenever I turned my head, or linger around me.
Back then, I felt burdened and avoided her.
“Sorry… I won’t bother you.”
Diana let go of my sleeve and lowered her head, looking gloomy. She must have thought I was rejecting her because I hadn’t said anything.
Tears pooled in her big eyes, ready to fall at any moment, and my heart sank at the sight.
“No! I was just thinking about something else.”
I had already turned away from this child once in my past life.
No matter how scary the director was, I shouldn’t have done that.
I quickly grabbed Diana’s hand.
Her blue eyes blinked rapidly in surprise.
‘She’s so cute!’
My heart thumped again, this time for a different reason.
Trying to calm myself, I smiled gently so I wouldn’t scare her.
Unlike Diana, I didn’t have a pretty face, so I doubted my smile helped much.
“Shall we go wash up first?”
When I spoke kindly, Diana blinked a few more times before nodding.
“Mm!”
As we walked toward the shared bathroom, I could feel the intense stares of the other kids—some disapproving, some confused, even Jack’s.
But my steps didn’t waver.
This was a miraculous chance to change the difficult future that awaited both me and the other children.
***
“Ah! No!”
I quickly turned off the faucet, and Diana tilted her head in confusion.
“There isn’t much water here.”
Even though Tesar Orphanage had running water, it was located near the mountains, so the supply wasn’t steady.
Skillfully, I scooped a ladle of water from a large basin in the corner, soaked a cloth made from old clothes, and wrung it out.
The icy water against my hands shocked me awake.
The harsh reality of my situation hit me again, making my chest feel heavy, but I shook my head.
‘I just need to endure for a few days.’
In my past life, about a week after Diana arrived, the Duke of Elard and his knights had stormed in.
If I took good care of Diana and found proof of the director’s corruption during that time, then exposed him, the future would surely change.
“Okay, arms up!”
When I tried to take off her dirty clothes to wash her, Diana obediently raised both arms high.
“Good.”
I patted her head—she was about a hand shorter than me—and began wiping her face and hands with the damp cloth.
It seemed like she had rolled around somewhere, because even before I finished, the water was already filthy.
I scooped more water and wiped her hair.
Then I froze.
Her hair, which had looked like dull gray because of dirt and dust, revealed a painfully bright silver once cleaned.
When I stopped moving, Diana blinked her blue eyes at me.
Silver hair and blue eyes—the signature traits of the Elard family.
“They always call us stupid, but the director’s the stupidest one. Anyone can tell she’s a noble.”
I pouted as I muttered—
Then suddenly stiffened.
“No way…”
