Chapter 84
The information one can obtain by sitting still is limited. So it is right to go in person. There is information I truly want to know. But then, a thought suddenly crossed my mind.
‘Do I need to break the Grand Duchess even more?’
Wouldn’t this already be enough? She is confined, and as mentioned in the novel, the Grand Duke no longer seeks the Grand Duchess’s advice when it comes to raising the twins. He will not do so in the future either.
Then, isn’t everything already done?
Couldn’t I just leave everything as it is, live happily with the twins, and later go to the temple? Wouldn’t that be the end of it?
Yet despite that, unease filled my heart. It felt like I should not end things like this. The High Priestess said that even when time was turned back, she failed, but I… I absolutely cannot fail.
“Yes! I’m going.”
“I don’t think it would be good for you to go.”
“Did His Grace the Grand Duke forbid it?”
“No. His Grace instructed that Lady Aisha be escorted wherever she wishes to go. It’s just that I feel uneasy…”
“If Rex is coming with me, won’t it be fine?”
Perhaps I hold a complacent belief that I will not die under any circumstances. But I felt that only by holding onto that complacency, only by not valuing myself too dearly, could I change this situation.
Changing the future is that difficult — difficult enough that even offering oneself may not be enough.
“If that is the case… then there is nothing I can do. Understood. Let us go. Is it alright if we leave without informing His Grace the Grand Duke?”
“He will return soon anyway. I’ll write a letter before we go.”
And I am not a fool. I always prepare for any possible situation.
I act with the resolve to die, but nothing will happen where I die or get hurt. The children would hate that.
So I carefully pressed down as I wrote the letter. Then I held Rex’s hand tightly.
“Protect me today.”
“Yes.”
With that, we stepped outside. Rex still looked anxious, and his steps were deliberately slow, as if he hoped the Grand Duke might arrive before we left.
“His Grace the Grand Duke would protect you even better if he were here.”
“I’m not going out to die.”
“Haah… I am worried. The item you gave me last time… I later learned that it was extremely dangerous. I kept worrying whether it might have harmed your health, Lady Aisha. I wanted to ask, but there was no time…”
“Is that why you wrapped things up so quickly and came back?”
At my words, he nodded.
As written in the novel, he was a man of remarkably upright convictions. Even though he has a master, if something does not align with his beliefs, he speaks what is right. I know that well. That is why he can seem somewhat frustrating at times.
I think I understand what that means.
“You wanted to tell me that?”
“That is part of it… but I also wanted to protect you, Lady Aisha. His Grace the Grand Duke cares for you deeply. And I as well…”
“Why?”
They were words I had never asked before. But today, I simply wanted to ask. I do not know what changed in my heart, but I wanted to talk.
“His Grace truly cherishes you. It is because you, Lady Aisha, were the one who narrowed the gap with the twins — a gap that once seemed impossible to close. The reason he keeps me by your side is also because he values you.”
“Values me…”
Such an unfamiliar word. Has anyone ever regarded me as someone to be cherished?
“You don’t quite believe it… do you?”
As my voice trailed off, Rex pouted slightly, looking somewhat disappointed.
“I’ve never received anything like that before.”
“Ah… His Grace cherishes you greatly, yet also feels sorry for you… He investigated your background, Lady Aisha. May I speak of it?”
“You may. I assumed he would have investigated me anyway!”
That was only natural. There is no way he would keep me beside his children without learning about me. And the reason Rex was telling me all this was likely because he wished for the Grand Duke and me to get along somehow.
“Indeed… His Grace truly cherishes you. When he learned that you had been abandoned as a child, that you had no sponsor, and that your parents could not be found… he felt sorry. He realized that you did not enter this place out of personal desire.”
“Ah.”
Only then did I slowly nod.
“He need not feel sorry…”
“That is how much he cares.”
“So that is why he has you watch over me? I am truly fine.”
At that moment, Rex’s expression, which had been filled with concern, darkened even further.
“Lady Aisha.”
“Yes?”
“I believe there is something you misunderstand, so I wish to clarify first.”
His unexpected words made me tilt my head.
“A misunderstanding?”
“His Grace the Grand Duke has never asked anything of me.”
“…What?”
“I believe you think that my purpose is to report your every action.”
Faced with his direct statement, I nodded awkwardly.
“But that is not so. His Grace only asked me to protect you. Not once has he demanded anything else. I have also never spoken of matters concerning you. He never even asked me to tell him what you were doing.”
“Really?”
That was surprising. When the Grand Duke seemed unaware of the matter of the seed, I had wondered. Had Rex not reported it? Was that why he did not know?
And now to learn that he truly did not know…
It was unexpected. I had assumed Rex was placed beside me partly for reporting purposes.
“Ah, no… there was something.”
Just as I began to think it was impossible that nothing had been reported, Rex smiled faintly.
“I did mention the matter regarding the library. Aside from that, I truly said nothing.”
“Did His Grace… not feel curious about me?”
“No, he was very curious. Whether you were adapting well to the Grand Duke’s household, whether you needed anything. He wondered such things, but he did not ask.”
“Ah.”
I quietly nodded.
“I see…”
“That is the kind of person His Grace is. Though he cannot express it well, his heart is warmer than anyone’s. He simply does not know how to show it.”
“Does not know how to show it…”
As I only nodded slowly, still unable to fully believe it, Rex held my hand firmly.
“Shall I tell you a story about His Grace the Grand Duke? Lady Aisha did not live in the capital, and you are still young, so you may not have heard it… It is a story that most people know. Of course, it would be best if His Grace told it himself, but he absolutely… does not trust others easily. So he will likely never speak of it. Even so, I wish to tell you, so that you might understand him at least a little.”
I silently looked at him.
A man who does not trust others.
Before the twins were born, the Grand Duke had a woman he loved.
And the twins were children born through that woman.
I already knew that much. But even before that — no, even before taking in the Grand Duchess — he clearly had a tendency not to trust people.
It was mentioned in the novel. That was also why he could not treat the twins well. He could have asked others, could have changed, but he never did.
He thought alone. Acted alone. Lived without knowing whether he was right or wrong.
That was why the distance between him and the twins never narrowed. The only person he consulted was the Grand Duchess.
She had raised a child before, so he believed she would understand the twins. He asked how he should treat them.
Though the results were disastrous, even when things felt wrong, he did not rely on anyone else.
And yet, there was another story?
‘Is it about the twins? Or about the Grand Duchess?’
Rex slowly looked ahead.
“What story?”
“His Grace the Grand Duke was not originally the eldest son. He was not the official heir.”
“Ah.”
“There was His Grace Cassius, the father of Young Master Jeply. Cassius married at a young age and had a child early. However, Cassius passed away before seeing Young Master Jeply grow up. Grand Duchess Redia also passed away while giving birth to Young Master Jeply.”
I knew this part well. It had been mentioned in the novel. Though my memories of the novel were fading — its ending and middle gradually disappearing — I still remembered certain parts.
“The current Grand Duchess Helen was originally Cassius’s second wife.”
“I see…”
Though I already knew, I nodded as if hearing it for the first time.
“His Grace Casimir — the present Grand Duke — never wished to become Grand Duke. He only wanted to leave with the woman he loved. But after Cassius passed away, he had no choice but to inherit the title.
During that process, he lost the woman he loved. Lady Helen insisted she would become Grand Duchess, causing a great commotion… Ahem, in any case, she was elevated to Grand Duchess. From that time on, His Grace’s hardships began.”
“Hardships?”
“He could not have children. Though it was a marriage without love, Grand Duchess Helen pressured him to produce an heir. Yet years passed without a child, and both she and her family began to criticize His Grace, claiming he was incapable of producing offspring.”
Was something like this ever described in the novel?
